SPEAKER_02 0:00

You started to feel a friend influencing you away from God. What would you do?

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Well, God puts people in your life for a reason and he can take them out. But they get to a certain age where they're like, you know, the cake is baked. The world's gonna be hard enough on them.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

When you're ready for your child's childhood to end, give them a phone.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

I'm glad I got a phone late.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

You gotta put the Lord in their heart and hope that they're gonna make the right decisions because you're not gonna be able to hold their hand 24-7.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Hello, fortitude audience. Thank you for joining again. We are leading in to my favorite part of this project with the Ten Hankins. And we have sweet Nora to my right. You say hi. Hi. This is Jill and Paul, who are also with us. Their youngest nugget. Like you're you're a you're a pistol, aren't you? Uh-huh. Yeah. In a good way. In a good way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

She admits it.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

She does. I see a lot of her and you. Is this is this how you guys see it?

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Where yeah, she's she got a lot of Jill in her. I mean, a lot of people say not only does she look like Jill, but she's into Jill's stuff. She's in a dance and cheering and just she's kind of gregarious. And so what did she say, Nora?

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah, mom gave me a lot of her jeans. Like my height, I'm really tiny. And migraines. She gave me those. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

Welcome, I'm sorry. Yeah. I told her, I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

But she gave me great hair, apparently. Yeah. She always tells us that she's like, well, at least you have great hair. So hey.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

True. I I give you a lot of bad qualities, but you will always have good hair.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Yeah. That's what she says to my brother too. She always says that. That is awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Take it though, because hair is a big deal your whole life. Yeah. You have to wear it.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

So yeah, sorry about the migraines.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

That's it's not a cool move. So you have two older siblings. Yes, I do. Okay. I want to know what the temperature of your house has been like. You I I remember when you were pregnant, Jill, with this beautiful girl. And I was new to town into the Sioux Falls area. And I knew you through click grain, and you were you couldn't wait. When you found out it was a girl, Paul, I remember you were so excited.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Um I love being a girl dad.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Yeah. Tell me, tell me what you love about it the most.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

I just love uh when you're a girl dad, you feel like you're a protector, you know, you feel kind of this responsibility to oversee and protect, you know, your daughter and watch out for them. Versus a son, and I have one son. So I have two girls, two daughters, one son. Son, you kind of feel like they they have to carve their own way, hey, be a man, go wash your own car, go do the stuff. The you know the the girls you kind of pamper a little bit more and take care of a little bit more, and they they get their own way a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Yeah. Mackie would agree, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Dad just told him to watch his car like two days ago, did he?

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

I always tell him though he's gonna make a great husband someday because he's got an older sister and a younger sister. So, you know, he's he's he's learning both angles. He said it to himself.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

He's like, I'll make a great dad.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Yeah, but he said they let him. Uh that's good to hear. And a and a good leader, Paul. Like we were talking about earlier, just the example that you're that you're setting as a leader and a husband. And then also like just he knows what kind of woman he's gonna want to marry. Thanks to you, Jill. I mean, hope so. The way that you guys have like just the when I say temperature in your home, you've been in the limelight from the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Like since you're 12? Four yeah, I'm 13. So now's four. Okay. So since you were four, and I've had the opportunity, and my little girls have had the opportunity to watch you when you've gone online with your dad. Um, and it's you're funny. You have a really, really great personality. And so in the midst of mom and dad, like what are you what are your favorite qualities of yourself?

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Of myself.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Well, I think I'm pretty funny too. I I always make people laugh or smile whenever they need it most, and sometimes when they don't, you know? Yeah. Um I also am really caring to people and just always consider it if something's going wrong, I'm always asking about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Yeah, we grew up, you know, this is the only job that she really knows me having. Like, you know, because I was four, right? Were you four when I got this job?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Oh yeah, you had it seven minus thirteen, six, six or five.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Yeah, you're about five, I think, when I got this job. So she kind of grew up with her dad being the mayor. So um, so for a lot of years, you know, we would do Facebook Lives together and things like that for a few reasons. One is because we just had a lot of fun doing them, but uh secondly, you just kind of humanize yourself in this job because people, you know, need to know that you're just a dad and a husband and you're just trying to figure out life like everybody else. So people are kind of hard on you as an elected official. So I'm just sometimes I say, hey, I'm just at home with real person, you know, trying to make a grilled cheese here and doing my best. So and singing swifty. Just normal. Yeah. Yeah. Just you know, and just a swift swift dad, too, you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

I love how you mentioned the softness of being a girl dad. Amos gets it a lot, obviously, because we have the three little girls, and I couldn't feel more blessed to have him as the example of what they hopefully will be looking for. And so when you said that earlier, do you do you hope to find someone like your dad one day? What do you mean? And a husband. All the qualities. Like, what are your favorite qualities about your dad?

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah, I'm not too worried about that. No, you got some time. You got some time. Yeah, right. My quite qualities in both of them. Yeah. Um, my dad, he's like always willing to do something with me. Like he's always willing to hang out with me. And he's really funny. Like he always he's good at making jokes. Uh-huh. And my mom, she's not afraid like to be herself, you know. She's always doing stuff that's she's not embarrassed about at all. At all. And she's also very caring. Like when I'm sick or if I'm if I have a headache or something, she's always getting stuff for me.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

That's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Great qualities.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Yeah. The funny part.

unknown 6:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

So how do you we do have a lot of fun?

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yeah. Cause that like humor, I don't think is in households enough. So in your family moments or like some of your family traditions, what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 6:37

We just screw around a ton. Like life is life is brief and it's too short to be serious. I'm I joke around a lot in my job. I joke around a lot with my family. Yeah. Um, I prank my wife a lot.

SPEAKER_03 6:53

Give us a line. Give us a oh, when we were first married, he used to pour cold water over the shower. You know, while you're in the shower, yes, husband to wife. Idol P.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Every every husband does say.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

But you know what? I'd say that's that's what I love about Paul is his humor. Hands down, my favorite thing about him. I mean, he's good looking too, but his humor is secondary. Yeah. That's that's important. It must be it must be important to me. You know, I guess that because I yeah, I love who would you rather hang around with?

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Funny people or not funny people?

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Funny. Exactly all the way. Like, would you rather be normal or would you be weird? But what would you pick? And what is weird?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Give me weird people.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Weird people, yeah, all day long. Yeah, I know, because like normal people don't have like too much personality to them. I mean, like, I mean, like they need like being unique is good. Yes, a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Weird give me funny people. I I I love I love to laugh. You know, I'm can I'm convinced Jesus laughed a lot, and uh we need to laugh a lot. We need to laugh more because our world's too serious.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Well, exactly. I that's how kind of a I feel about parenting right now, the age that they're at or Nora's our youngest, but even our oldest is 2020 now. Um, but for me, I mean when I kids my kids were little, I mean I was just like so much to do. Just like not overbearing, but what would you call me? Like a hawk.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Overprotective.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Yeah, overprotective, maybe it's just as babies, you know, and I was just but they get to a certain age where they're like, you know, the cake is baked. Yeah, you know what I mean. If I haven't instilled it in them by now, um it's it's not gonna happen. And the world's the world's gonna be hard enough on them. So I'm gonna be their safe haven. Yeah. It's kind of kind of where the stage of parenthood that I'm at right now. Not that you don't still have a role in being a parent and showing them mistakes, you know, what path to take. Um, but it's just different.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Where do we where do you think we overparent you? Like, do where do you think we're too strict? Just gonna think people.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

You guys are not strict compared to other parents. You guys are not strict. Okay, we gotta.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

But what what does that mean compared to other parents? How are other parents?

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Parents are like, well, I'm trying to think. Well, don't give any specific examples. I'm not I'm not thinking of specific people. I'm just yeah, no names.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

I'm just like like you were one of the last kids in your grade to get a phone. We we held on the phone thing forever.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

I'm glad I got a phone late. Yeah. I like to say because like I gotta enjoy my childhood. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Like, tell me about that. Tell the tell our audience why you're grateful as a kid for not getting a phone until what eighth grade? Ninth grade.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

She was 13. 13, age 13. I wanted to wait until eight. They talk about the wait until eight pledge.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

We're doing that.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

I just feel like it's hard. We went to we've got that seventh, and she was apparently the last seventh grader on the planet, which was incredible. She wasn't, but that's what she said, of course.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Well, a lot of kids like, so I needed a phone because I need to communicate with you guys more. Like after school, sometimes like the other day, my brother left without me after school. He forgot about me. So, like, what was I supposed to do? I can't I just called him with my phone. So I'm like, I called him with my phone, you know? So, like sometimes it's important in those situations.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

I would say from what I heard from your dad earlier about like your locked screen or the certain apps or your time on your phone, I would say you're very proactive. So there's a difference, I believe, in the overbearing or like you're you're proactive. If she wouldn't have been emotionally mature to get a phone, you probably would have been like, eh, we might want to wait a year. It wasn't like the year was the year you were gonna give it to her, but like you instilled enough trust with your parents and like it you like you the baking the cake. Yeah. You already instilled all the things she needed by that age, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:43

They're also going on like screen time. Like some of like sixth graders that I know, they're screen down, they're screening eight hours a day. And that's like horrible because they don't have screen time or anything. Yeah, it's pretty consistent. And that's important.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

And what do I always say about screen time? It makes you what do you say? Dumber.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Fortitude Ministries is bringing a women's regional faith summit to Sioux Falls on May 8th. Please make sure you get your tickets. Grab your girlfriends, grab your mom, your grandma, even your daughters, and bring them to the Ransom Church in Sioux Falls on May 8th. And we will see you there for food, for fellowship, for speakers, and inspiration. For tickets, please go to Fortitude's Instagram or Facebook page, and you will find a link available to purchase your tickets.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Well, there's a there's a quote I love to share a lot with families that are struggling with it. It's it's when you're ready for your child's childhood to end, get them a phone. Yeah. Because it literally will stifle creativity. They don't just go outside and play anymore. They don't just decide I'm gonna go color, I'm gonna read a book, their childhood ends. It does because it's now this. This so when you're ready for their childhood to end, and it has nothing to do with the content.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Like, no, obviously bad content's not great, but even if it's awesome content, yeah, it's just the fact of the the quick switches and the the fast gratification um that you're just setting them up for a spiral of discontentment.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

And it is it is all the way to the day we die. It really is. Yeah, I feel like everybody right now is it's that is the key.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

And adults, I think I'm an adult. I think we like to point our fingers at kids, but adults. Yeah, I am just as bad. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Yeah, we have to be self-aware. I think self-aware is like the word that I just it always comes full circle for me of like self-aware of where your feet are planted, what you're doing, who's around you, conversations that are happening, because we're locked in on everything but and it's the our own little world. And so it's your family time, I'm guessing. Technology probably goes away, and you like how do you protect your family time so that you are eyeball to eyeball and you're present? Like what are the radiantly things y'all do?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Oh, we do we play games a lot, like kind of like kind of some examples. Exploding kittens. That's a great game. We play Uno, we play Quix. What else do we play? Rama Cube, bananagrams, banana grams. We just play a lot of games all together.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Taco, goat, cat, cheese, pizza. So I you laugh. You laugh the we laugh the entire time. I know. It is so much fun.

unknown 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Okay, can I get it for you? Sure. Okay, I'm gonna get it for you and and bring it to you. Oh, because it is we have like four or five seven.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

If we're really feeling adventurous, we play ticket to ride, if we got a lot of time.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Yeah, and if and if we like to make Paul upset, we'll play clue. Well, I hate clue.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Oh hey, we though it's the best. How could you not like clue? Didn't you as a kid didn't you used to go with your brothers in the alley in Worthington and look for clues?

SPEAKER_00 13:51

We did look for clues going up.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Scavenger hunts. Yeah, I heard about that. The scavenger hunts.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

So you don't just find craft. So like we find a washer and we like, oh, we found a clue.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Well, yeah, I remember doing the same thing as a kid. Yeah. Clue to what? It's a wobble penny.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

It's a clue. Maybe some you but he used it to murder someone, the washer.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Your your mom shared that, and I thought, that is so because that adventure, right? Family needs adventure. Yeah. And so we do that a lot where we just get in the car and we go to an adventure and go hiking and spend time outside and uh something else that I had asked your mom that I want to know if you've heard the story that your dad was only 20 months old. Did you hear what he did when he was only 20 months old?

SPEAKER_01 14:39

I did not hear this. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Did you get in the driver's seat of a car at 20 months old by stand?

SPEAKER_00 14:44

I did drive a car.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

What? I never heard this. Whoa, dad.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

That was a big deal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

20 months old, so that's um not even two years old. Yeah. That's clear. He was just little. Yeah, your mom said it like roll down a hill or something.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

No, I drove it through grandpa's garage.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

What? I've never heard this story. You were little, so there's no guilt or shame or anything in this. It's it's like little Paul got into the front seat of the car and and like to put it into drive or the pedal or any of the.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Well, it's back when they were like on the tree, you know, the the Oh, the big so it's pretty easy to just like pull it down and it was running. You just pull it down and it falls into gear and went through the garage.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

So And do you remember it? Like, do you I don't remember?

SPEAKER_00 15:34

No. No, I bet he was um I don't remember it. So maybe I do have a scar back here that I don't know where it came from, so maybe.

unknown 15:42

No.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Oh, okay. I was like, yes, I was being for real. So in that, I just want to say, so have you ever done anything that your parents had you don't have to share at all, but how do you how do your parents handle discipline or conversations when it comes to like, dang it, I shouldn't have done that? Or in these moments? Like how how does mom and dad approach you in those moments?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

You guys can answer. Are you I don't really I don't really know. Nobody is no no one.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

How do we discipline you? Where are you?

SPEAKER_01 16:13

I don't have anything in mind. I like can't think of anything.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

I know we don't really discipline anything. Because you probably don't think of as like grounded. Honestly, she's a good kid. Yeah. I we can we have we're bust with really good kids. Like, you know, we don't we don't have to discipline that like our son, he's a junior, he was out till 1230 this on Sunday night. Um, and that's probably the latest I ever remember him staying out with.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

Yeah, I said I said to Paul, I'm like, that's a little late to not tell us, isn't it? Like I almost had to like reaffirm it. To reaffirm we should probably check on that.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

He was with his Bible study group, and like, so it's like, wow, can you get mad at him for going that long with Bible studies? Yeah. So that I don't know. We're just we're lucky to have good kids, and uh so we don't really get too mad at you, do we?

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Yeah, I don't like sneak out or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

If you keep not doing anything stupid, we won't have to discipline you, so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

I'd say there's there's some times where you'll say, Don't tell dad. If something like, when do I say that? Oh, never mind.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

What if I ever said that? Uh nothing. I'll tell you later. We have those moments in our house too. It's a girl thing. It's certain girl things, right? We can Paul's probably like, that's all right, go ahead and keep it to yourself. It's fine. So what do you what do you um guys love about Nora? And what do you what do you see like in your kids because of what you haven't instilled? Because that what I hear is we don't really have to do correction. Maybe once in a while there's some bumper, there's some, you know, oh, for navigation things. For sure. Yeah. But ultimately, what I see is unity and oneness in you both. So therefore, the foundation has been set in their heart posture as they grow up, they have that conviction because they have the Holy Spirit, right? Like this this is a consistent thing that we talk about even within our ministry, is like once you set the foundation, once you help them navigate the right from wrong, you really don't, there's not a lot of disciplinary or a lot of things because their heart posture. Do you see that in in the things that you have chose and raising the kids to like as one and raising them in unison, that that has been a big piece of how sweet Nora has turned out?

SPEAKER_03 18:36

Well, I'd like to think we have something to do with it, but I mean, in all reality, um You just got lucky. We just got pretty lucky, didn't we? No.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I mean it's about putting God at the center of our house and she loves Jesus. And that's first and foremost in her life is having Jesus at the center of her life. She got baptized uh last year. 2024 or 2024, which was a big step in her life to just profess her commitment to you know to Jesus and following Jesus, and you know, she reads her devotions every every night, and um she's just a good kid. And so you can't you can't uh outparent um culture because culture's all around our kids and you can't put them in a bubble. They're gonna be exposed to the culture. Yeah. And so you gotta just you gotta put the Lord in their heart and hope that they're gonna make the right decisions because you're not gonna be able to hold their hand 24-7. I'm not gonna be able to guard everything on this phone 24-7 from her. I'm not gonna be able to guard all her relationships at school and the way she treats people. You just have to hope that we've instilled the right morals and values and that she's always thinking, we know, what would Jesus do? And and hopefully that's guiding her decisions. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

And do you do you feel like that is the what what would Jesus do? Do you think that a lot?

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Yeah, sometimes, yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

What's your favorite thing about Jesus or about your relationship with him?

SPEAKER_01 20:10

About like what I do, like my relationship or like what yeah. Like, is Jesus your best friend? Yeah. Yeah. Like I go to youth group every Wednesday and every other Sunday I'm going to two separate youth groups. And I read my Bible every morning. And I have friends who also are Jesus followers, so it's cool, you know, that I can have people in my life to talk to about that. Mm-hmm. Do you think it's important the friends you choose? Yes. Friends change throughout the years. Like I've had the same best friend since fifth grade. She came in fifth grade and she's just always been there. Yeah. And she loves Jesus too, like we talk about and everything.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

That's important, isn't it? Yeah. What happens if you started to feel a friend influencing you away from God? What would you do?

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Well, God puts people in your life for a reason and he can take them out. Like if you ever feel left out, or if God or if you're f you're growing apart from your friend, God probably just is doing that for a good reason 'cause maybe they don't treat you right or they're just not the most important part in your life.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Yeah. And he'll probably replace them with someone even better, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Pruning. Sometimes call it pruning, like a a vine. Sometimes you have to prune off some people and a new branch is gonna grow somewhere else.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yeah. Have you ever heard of the phrase rejection is God's protection?

SPEAKER_01 21:27

No, I don't think I've heard that.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

That's that that phrase changed my adult life. And it's that whole pruning, it's the whole concept of of you're not being rejected. God is just protecting you from from something, whether it's a job or relationship or just something maybe that you really wanted and you didn't get. God's like, you just wait, sweet Nora. I got something better for you. Right? It's always a good way to think of things. Yeah. Yeah. So um we'll we'll wrap this up, but I just wanted like it's just good to hear from you. I feel like you are a family that a lot of people just I mean, you've been in the limelight for a long time, but you are normal. And to see you, not normal, you're unique. That's to say normal. That's the best compliment. I think you're normal, crazy is just it's fun. And to see you lighthearted and having fun with one another, it's what we I mean, everybody in in family, we just we we all have the ex we want the same things, right? Like we just want to be loved, seen, heard, cherished. And ultimately, the only thing we can take with us to heaven is souls and is our kiddos and our spouse. And so keep loving each other really well. It is neat to see. So thank you, Heather. We appreciate you all being here. Thanks for being here, Noah. You're a good kid.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Thanks, Heather.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

This episode is sponsored by Fort Two Ministries. Thank you to those ministry partners who help make this possible.