SPEAKER_03 0:00

Here comes a sand dude. Here comes a sign that says it's all right.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Hello, Fortitude audience. Thank you for joining us today. My name is Heather Kittelson, and I am your host of Fortitude Podcast, and I am sitting here with my husband, Amos. Hi. You're so lovely.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Nice to see you too.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Oh, you'd think we see each other more. And we have uh Jill Miller in our podcast studio today from Sioux City, but kind of a little live in Nashville as well. I feel like you're a Nashville star, man. Well, I go there a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

For so many awesome reasons that we are going to fill our audience in today. Well, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. We met almost four years ago, I want to say it's three years ago. Three, four. Well, we're just going to say three. It was my very first speaking gig, and I met a mutual friend of yours. And man, I am so grateful. She said you have to meet Jill and Laura from Sioux City, who do a conference called Choose. Yes. And here we are three years later. I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

It's an honor to know you. It's an honor to know you. I love those God wings. I've had a lot of those in my years in ministry. And it's always just the way things weave together. It's nothing but God's hands.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Yeah. I call it a um the webbing or any a spider web, even though I don't like spiders. It's like just the it's so delicate and it's so intentionally designed the way they do it. And like God, God's so intentional. He is. So, Jill, your story, who you are, all of it. It is, there's a lot of depth. There's a lot of a lot of life. I'm old.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Upstairs. You're not old. I'm old.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

And I want our I want our audience to hear it all. I really do. So tell us just a little bit of who you are today and what you're up to, because there's a lot, you have a lot going on now. But then I want to go back. And I want we're gonna, we're gonna just let you just roll with whatever the Holy Spirit is leading you to tell us today. Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

So what I've been up to today, I just released my eighth CD. Uh it's called Run Towards Love. So I'm a singer-songwriter and speaker, and started this project. It's been a long project in the making, but um excited about it. So release that in May. It's been a different release because I'm in a different season. God has kind of had me in a season of uh silence, sacred silence, I'm kind of calling it, and not touring and doing all the things I've been doing. We can talk about that, but just been in a different season. And it's been interesting to release music in this market today that's so digital. So music is so different than it used to be. But uh that's where I'm at. Just released my eighth project. I write all the time and do go to Nashville. I haven't even been to Nashville this year yet. That is the first year. I usually go six, eight times a year, spend a lot of time there. And God's had me in a season of just being still. And it's October. It's October. It's October. You haven't been all year? I haven't been. Wow. First time, maybe I went in January. I was trying to think back. I think I maybe went in January. But I'm writing with all my friends, just we're doing it via Zoom. Okay. It's just been a season we've had I've had three grandkids within the last years and lots. We had three boys get married in 10 months. You know, just a lot of family life stuff happening. And it's just been God calling me to a different season. So he's been growing me a lot spiritually and kind of some new projects that are on the horizon that he's preparing me for. And they all involve music and excited for what's going to happen. But yeah, God's journey is just so different sometimes than what we when I first started going to Nashville. I was going to get a nat a country cut that was going to then uh pay pave the way financially for me to do Christian music. Well, it's been the exact opposite. I I hardly write country anymore. And I write pretty much all Christian. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Man, I love how you said sacred silence.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

That that says a lot, just those two words. It does. And I'm a doer. This is why it's been, I think God had to have me in this place because I've always been an over-achieve, overachiever, people pleaser, very, very, very busy. Yeah. That's been my entire life. And God has had to slow me down. And it's I have been kicking and screaming and yeah. Laura and I felt at the beginning of January that God was asking us to take a sort of a sabbatical from the ministry just to kind of have him speak into our hearts and where he wanted us to take it. And he's done that now, and we're going to get going again. But let me tell you, not being on the go and being on the road all the time, and my schedule dictating my life has been a totally different thing. And God has just done an incredible work in this different space for me. Because it's literally the first time in my life that I just haven't been so crazy busy and traveling and going from one thing to the next constantly.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

So it's fun. It it's hard, but it's so it is a beautiful time. It really is.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

I I went through it. When you let it be beautiful, but I've fought it a lot on the way.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Do you think do you think now going back to to Jill, because we have so many different moldings of ourselves, right? And if we got into a great conversation when we very first met about our similarities with having dealt with alcoholism and not you in particular, but you were on the Al-Anon side. Yes. And you were living in survival for quite some time. Right. It doesn't go away. It unless you really work on it. So when you talk about being busy or you talk about moving at a fast pace, um, those of us that have come from addiction, it it tends to be our tendency.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Well, and it kind of covered up what was really going on for me. I figured out my busyness was just covering how unhappy I was in my marriage and in really you know, in yeah, so many situations. And I just covered it by being busy. And that was when I was going through Al-Anon and I'd been through Al-Anon. I'm working the steps, but I still just hid some of those feelings by being too busy. That's my go-to. It's we don't want to feel.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

I mean it's that that's right. You if you stay busy, then you don't have to stop and think and exactly process. I don't like that. Yeah, let's keep going. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is, yeah. I recognize that when you said this to be busy, because then you slow down, you're like, oh, I gotta think. Yeah. Oh shoot. And then I gotta think about all the wrongs and the guilt.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Was that you think that was that busyness? Was it impulsive? Did it include a lot of being impulsive? Or was it very intentional?

SPEAKER_00 7:27

It was pretty intentional. It's I've always had just this sense. I my mom, I love my mom to death, but she was, you know, just expected a lot. And I'm the youngest of six. I don't know if I just felt pressure to perform. Yeah. But I've literally been a performer my entire life. I grew up with there's six in my family, five girls and one boy, and we five of us girls sang. So I literally joined my sister's performing when I was in kindergarten. And we were part of a little local variety group. So, and it sounds funny, but that performing led to performance everywhere in my life. And that gave me my love for music, and it's a beautiful gift, but it got me on this track of so it was very intentional. I had in very high, lofty goals. I had one goal all through high school. I started writing music in junior high and performed my first song at a school talent show. And I had the lead in the school musical. I was involved in everything musical, but performing my first original song was like, I was sh literally shaking because it's like you're sharing your soul, right? So, but I just always had this goal. I was gonna go to Nashville when I graduated, sing on the Grand Ole Opry because my dad loved country music. That was my only goal. My I didn't think about any college, nothing. Then I met my first husband, uh, and he lived in Sioux City, had a family-owned business, and everything changed. I stayed home. He went through treatment uh shortly after we were together, and every just everything changed. My whole life changed from that point on. And I kept my toe in music and always dreamed of doing music more full-time, but it was just not in the cards for for him and I. He was pretty controlling and didn't like me doing too much of that. So yeah, the old codependent stuff that you you just don't even realize what a hold it has on you. Right? But no, so it was very intentional. I wasn't impulsive that way. It's more I had big goals.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yeah, if you haven't if you have goals, then you have lenses to look through, to help you filter out things that don't get you to that goal, which is different than being impulsive and just doing something and creating more chaos in your life because you just said yeah. Like you say yes to everything.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

But I did start getting into that when you say that, because um I am an overachiever and I could like handle like handling projects. Like I was the capital campaign chair for the Sioux Land Humane Society uh new building projects. So I chaired that. I did things like that that got me strokes in that people-pleasing side. So it did become a little bit impulsive that way because I said yes to too much because people would ask you once you raise two and a half million dollars for an organization. Oh, can you help us? And can you do this? And can you do that? And you got strokes that my little fragile ego needed.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Sound familiar, Amos? No. Oh, Jill, you and I, man. Oh uh, I don't want to gloss over going back a little bit to the things that you have overcome. Because you, yes, you may be a high achiever and all of that, but through all like you think about the high intensity that you're in, you also are going through a lot of your personal struggles. Um and to get through those, you you normally just do that. You try to just go through and just just run, just run and sometimes running away from them. And did you like I just like Christian all your life? Did you grow up with Christianity in your home? Okay, that's what that's what I thought. And so your love for the Lord now and your relationship with Jesus is beautiful. It's in your music, it's it's all over you, your glow. Um and when you go on stages and you speak to women about overcoming, you're speaking about infertility, adoption, divorce, financial struggles, marital infidelity and loss. Just one of those is hard. And you have overcome and worked through all of those.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

You know, it that's where the depth of your faith comes, though. And I have to say, when you say all of those, for me personally, the biggest was probably my infertility because it didn't end with the happy story of me getting pregnant, right? Yeah. Because I was watching all my friends have babies, and and I had that faith of, you know, that you can say to this mountain, move from here to there. I was a believer and believing for that. And God said no. Sometimes God says no. It's not gonna happen the way you want it to, right? And but it was a beautiful yes because we ended up adopting our first son, and everyone kept telling me, just adopt and then we'll get pregnant because you're trying too hard. It I heard that so, so many times, and that was probably the hardest thing people said to me. But um, we adapt. So don't say that to people. Please don't. Just yeah, please don't. And you don't mean to be mean. I know that people meant it. You mean well, but it for me it put that it was something wrong with me again. Physically, there's something wrong with me, obviously. And you're trying too hard. And I'm trying too hard, and it's my emotions that are getting in the way. So worked through all that, but there was such a beautiful moment in that that I want to share with the listeners because I we adopted our first son, went through some more stuff, and I ended up I had a lot of pain, physical pain, and just a lot of physical things I went through with my infertility, trying to get pregnant, surgeries and procedures and medications. It was a 10-year journey that ended in we adopted our second son, and shortly after that, the doctors were like, You can't put this off anymore. You have to have a hysterectomy physically and for your health. So I'm facing this hysterectomy, and one of my good Christian friends said, I am taking your kids. You got to go get okay with God because there's no miracle. I kept praying, you know, thinking, well, just gonna be a miracle. You're right. Yeah. All my other friends who went through infertility, they all got pregnant. And so my one really good friend said, I am taking your kids. You're gonna go sit with God and get right with this. And this was my first experience of really wrestling. Yeah. I mean, wrestling with God. So I went down by the river and sat on this big rock and thank you, and just had it out with God. And I shook my fist and I was, I was so mad because Sam, my youngest, his birth mom was 13. And I'm like, okay, God, this is not fair, right? All the things, and just and got real with God. And I'd been real with God. I'd been through codependency treatment, I'd done the 12 steps, done my fourth and fifth, you know, number of times. And I'd been real, but this was a different reel because this was a hurt that it was so, so deep in me, and just so disappointed that no was my answer. I just couldn't wrap my head around it, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:48

And had you heard no, or you just you just knew the answer was no because it hadn't happened.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Yeah, just getting the no, the physical no, and like now I'm having a hysterectomy tomorrow. So this is a no. This is this is no. And I knew I had to have it, right? If but there was just that fight in my spirit. And so I went down to the river and I did what she said, and I shook my fist, and I got so mad, and then I just started crying. Like, I didn't think you could cry that much. I mean, I was just, but it was so beautiful. At the end of this time, I am sitting on this rock and I'm had my arms wrapped around my legs, and I was just rocking back and forth. And all of a sudden, I had this overwhelming sense. God was rocking me. He was holding me. I get goosebumps right now.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

He was holding me and rocking me, and he just whispered, I'm sorry. And that was what I heard. I'm sorry. But I knew I had a peace. I had such a peace. Like, and I know for whatever reason it's God's will that that maybe I was gonna die. I don't know what, but it was a no, and it and I'm okay with it. And it's a sadness. I still, I mean, I wanted to just, I'm the youngest of all these girls. My sisters were, you know, pregnant all the time, and I was enamored with pregnancy. I never forget my first sister being pregnant, and I would touch her stomach all the time. I think it's the most beautiful thing. But you know what? I get to view it through a different lens. Yeah. You know, people that have had babies, it's maybe not as glamorous, and you know, it's it's obviously it's something you go through, but I I was just that way, and God just released that in me and gave me a beautiful gift of sometimes his no is okay because he's with us in the no.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

When when you were sh shaking your fist and shouting at God, did you have any reservations about how you felt and the things that you were saying?

SPEAKER_00 16:48

You know, I did at first, but it was so raw and so real that I let it go. I I guess that's what I mean. Like, I I couldn't hold it back. I was just like, I'm mad.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

This is unfair. And is that that's okay, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

That's okay. Yeah. So, like if someone's hearing this and thinking, I'm mad too. Right. You know, these these he's the God of the universe. Exactly. You can take it. It's not like you're the first person to yell at him.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Well, Jesus cried out on the cross, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? I that really went through my head. God gave me that gift. It's like, yes, I just think God wants us real, because that realness led me to wholeness I would never have. If I wouldn't have done that, and that's part of why we talked before we went on that I go to the went to the chapel outside of Omaha when my first husband left me after 21 years of marriage. And I was devastated then. And that was more just going there again, just crying out and spending time with him and being real. Like, I'm lost here. I don't know what to do. How do I get through this? And God met me there again. It's those being real to me is what we have to do with God. I mean, it's what causes good friendships and how you relate to someone, like we related on a real level. Yeah. And that's what God desires. He wants that, whether good or bad. Like, don't try to sugarcoat it in front of God. No. He knows us, he knows every hair in our head. So why do we try to pretend like I'm not mad? I'm mad. Like, that's unfair, and it's okay. And he can heal it when we're real. But if we try to cover it with our busyness and all the other things we do, I think that's when we we don't get that healing.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

I picture guy like like um a Jesus with his arms up and he's just taking punches. He takes them over and over and over. And he says, I still love you. Doesn't he?

SPEAKER_00 18:41

He does. And when you're done punching, throwing swings, he goes, All right, ready to hug it out. Yeah, exactly. It's that's a beautiful image, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

The the chosen season five, I just watched the last episode of that where Jesus is in the garden, he's crying out, and he's like, I can't endure this. And yet he just okay, all right, God. Like, okay, Father. Oh man, I was bawling in my bathroom too. Just thinking about you know you gotta watch it. You just gotta watch it. You can't, I can't even, it's such an incredible series. But Jill, what you just spoke of was not only feeling forgotten, feeling abandoned. And then you spoke of your husband um of 21 years. I think you mentioned infidelity, is that correct? And then and then left after 21 years.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

There's the also For a younger woman, that always makes it even better. It's all good. It's all good.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

There is something I mean, just the rejection of so many deep, deep, deep seated. And we're both in women's ministry. We're both speakers. We both hear the stories. Right. We both I like I have a dear friend I'm walking uh through infertility. Her and her husband want to get pregnant so bad. And not losing hope in it. Um rightfully so, like it's just there's so many different things that can break us. But it didn't break you. Right. It made you stronger. It made me way stronger.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

And on the other side of it, even like my divorce led me to a wonderful, godly man who two months after we got married, I quit my real job and started going to Nashville. Because I he knew that music is what I'm called to do. So I mean, God just redeems the most broken situations.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Yes, and he makes them so much better. So much better. Even when we don't get it, even in the moments, even when we're shaking our fists and we're crying out. Yep. In that, in those moments, I can't tell people enough. Like, don't lose hope. Look at it differently. Look at it as this is not working against me, this is working for me. And I'm gonna learn something through this, right? And I'm gonna be stronger and build a new brick. There's a new brick that's going up on my foundation that I'm gonna be able to speak to and teach and help others in all those really despairing moments.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

And that's where we grow for you. We don't grow in the mountaintops because we think we got it all together. Yeah, we're good. It's in those valleys that God grows us, and it's so much, so it's so much beauty in the ashes, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Yeah, you know. And so you're a grandma now of three. I am right. So you you've witnessed your three beautiful sons that are adopted.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Well, I have four. I have two I have two sons of mine that are adopted, and then I have two stepsons. So that's what it is. Yes, John had. So we have four boys. Four total. And we have two boy mom. I really are. Yeah, we finally got a girl. I have a granddaughter.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

So yeah. So d being a part of that, what was that like for you two?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Like just it was scary at first because my John's first wife left him. As well, and left pretty much left the kids. So he had his kids pretty much full-time, and I had my kids pretty much full-time. So joining this, and one was teenage, well, actually, three of them were teenagers. Well, almost teen, 12 and 15, and then 10. So, you know, joining that age was scary. Like we're moving into his house, and it's a small house, and you know, well, they like me, and how do I discipline? Yeah, being a stepmom was it was scary, but it was exciting. And it just was right. I don't know how to explain it, but like you when you know that you know that you know. One of my counselors always said that to me. My dad. When you know that you know, that you know. And that's just what it felt like. It just felt right and good. And I have a son, my oldest son is on the Asperger Spectrum, and he really needed structure. And John, my husband, is that structure. He's an ex-rodeo cowboy, it's black, it's white. When I say it, I mean it. He's he's that kind of guy, and that's what Christopher needed. And so it was just like it was beautiful. It was just beautiful, but it was scary. It had its moments. I mean, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

So, for all the listeners, too, that are going through or have gone through divorce and they're like, there's not, I just don't feel like there's anyone out there for me. Right. I've heard I keep hearing that over and over that people are losing hope. And I will say, you know, like, don't. I got, I got, I got mine. Like, we God has someone. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

And mine was in a furniture store. So go furniture shopping. Just go shopping.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Just go shopping. Just go. Just look around. Yeah. Actually, look up and look people in the eye. You just never know when your soul's gonna meet that one. That's so true. I tried to avoid Amos, and God was like, oh no, no, no. Nope, nope. Because to be adored is something that, and that's what it sounds like. That he adore, he saw you. He had like really saw Jill. Yes. And your passion. Right. And even if there was some hurt and brokenness and tenderness that needed to be healed, he was all in on that. He was. That's how 100%.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Yeah. It's beautiful when you have that special. Yeah, it's just so beautiful. And there was just no question because we were dating, and I had read a purpose-driven life during my first marriage. Great book. Yes. And I knew then I heard God's whisper that I should do music and do it like full time, like really pursue music. But my it just wouldn't work with my first husband. Just a lot of issues going on. And so I read that book, and that's part of what I read, you know, did in the chapel was go through that book and really ask God, what is my purpose? What do you want me to do? And this time God was like yelling in my ear, music. And so when John and I were dating and then got engaged, I said, I just have to tell you, God is really putting my heart that I'm supposed to do music. And he's like, okay, well, we'll pray about it. And when it's time, quit your job and let's do it. Well, two months after we got married, that's what I did. I mean, that is someone who believes in you and wants, and he's a godly man and wanted God to use me. He knew that that's the way God wanted to use me. And he, we've made it, found a way to make it work. And it hasn't been easy, but it's been worth it.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

That's amazing. I look at Heather as a beautiful butterfly. And shame on me if I put her in a jar or keep her under a lid or under the house. Like she's a butterfly, and people deserve to see that. I bet you John saw that same thing in that too and wanted and wanted to nurture that.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

Yes, he did.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

He's just like, that's what you're supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Yeah, good for him.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

And her wings are a little tathered. They are, right? Very tethered. And that's the most beautiful part of it is that like Amos saw the big beautiful butterfly with really oh, that just hit hard.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

And you know, butterflies my thing. That's that's my thing. That's the theme of my ministry.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Is I think um uh I think that one of the challenges for us as men is to sometimes the butterfly flies towards the flame.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

That's the model.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Because there's some stuff there, there's some baggage there, there's some things you went through. And as men, we want it, we're protectors and we want we want and preventative. And so my husband. It's like, or try, hey, go this way, go right, because there's danger ahead, you know. But the truth is, as hard as that it is, it's with the best intentions.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

That's so funny you say that because I was traveling so much at first and on planes, and my husband's like super. Now be aware of your surroundings and don't do this and do this. And I'm more, I trust everyone. And at first it really drove me crazy because I am pretty naive and just trust it too much. And but he's taught me like, okay, I do need to be more aware. And now I totally am, but it he's so wanting to do it.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

It's a beautiful thing when you put those two things together and you rely and you let each other in, yeah. You let each other help, like focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Let the other person lift you up, make you better, because they're better at these things. Right. Right. It's not like at that point, it's not one person plus one person equals two. That's like one plus one equals ten. And it's a beautiful thing that you can add.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

That that's so true. That's so true. Because I did need to get a little more aware.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

So well, you're a learned spirit. That's another thing that I really enjoy about you, is even you and Laura, which those of you who are listening to Jill right Jill now, Laura's episode will also be coming up. Um but you both are John Maxwell certified. Yes, Chris? Yes. One of our favorites. Love, love.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

And I should and we should mention who John Maxwell is?

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Oh sure. A lot of actually, I was surprised that some people don't know John Maxwell. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Over half the people I mentioned John Maxwell too, they say who?

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

They say, Really?

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Really? Wow. Yeah. Number one leadership dude in the country.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Country and world. Well, he was. That's what when I went through training, isn't that? Yeah, like number one leader. Actually in the world. Like he's got worldwide leadership styles.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Characterized characterized John.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Well, he's an ex-pastor, so he's very faith-driven. And he's just very practical. Chill. Chill. He's so chill, practical. His he's yeah, he's just amazing. He's so good to sit under live because like at what the certifications he teaches. And he's just such, he's so empowering. Yeah. And he's real. Yeah. He makes it like where people can really do it. You can put it into practice. It's wild. That's what I like about him. Very wise. Yeah, very wise.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

I would this this might be, but like you think of um Billy Graham from an evangelist, beautiful global, how many lives. And I think of John Maxwell as in like the leadership development, the kind of that corridor or that pillar of he is he has changed a lot of lives and has led a lot of people, not only to Christ, but right in just really firm foundational leadership skills. Yeah, I agree. Um so if you've never um I guess known anything that he's done, there's how many books? Hundreds? Oh, hundreds. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

I think a hundred and forty or something.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

So being certified means that you are an extension of John, that you can come in and teach the city.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Well, we yeah, we yeah, went under his training and read went through the stuff to be a speaker. And I've done life coaching too, as well. Not doing that as much. Kind of got off. That's where one of those little tangents I took, and God is like the shiny object. Get back to music, Jill. And doing ministry with Laura has been amazing. That's just a God thing. That's how we really came together. We met on a plane when I was flying to Nashville. Actually, I was yeah, flying to Nashville, gonna do a Christmas show at the Franklin Theater. And I took Jeff's bag and he had mine. And I would have been really in a lot of trouble if I would have her husband Jeff's bag, if I would have been in Nashville without my Jeff's bag, her Laura's husband's bag? Yes, I accidentally took it on uh when you gate check. Yeah. Because we flew from Sioux City to Chicago and they were flying on somewhere, and I was going to Nashville, and I grabbed Jeff's bag instead of mine. Luckily, I had my tag in it, so he could call me and say, Hey, um, I think you have my bag. Oh. And I had gowns for like the Christmas show. And it's like, oh my goodness, that would be Jeff's eyes. Yeah, and that's what he said. I'm pretty sure your clothes wouldn't fit me. So, and then we met a month later. So that was in January. Then we met a month later in Orlando at the John Maxwell certification training. And that's when we started talking. And all of a sudden we're like, hey, I'm like, because that's when I was really dying doing ministry by myself. Yep. Because I'm a people person. And so we started talking and sharing a ministry under her sister's uh legacy called Choose Joy. And we started talking about that and said, let's do this together. We'll call it Choose. And yeah, that's been a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

You are a beautiful partner. Like the two of you together is really special. Yeah.

unknown 31:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

Give us a gift. Even if Jeff About wore a gown to get there. I mean, it's really cool how God brought the two of you together. It is. And you have done uh an event in Sioux City called Choose, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:51

Is it just just called Choose? Well, we've had different themes every year. One year it was choose love, one it was choose hope, and one choose to keep going, but all under the choose choose identity. Yeah. And how many years have you done that? We did it three years. We took a break this we're taking a we took a break this last year, but yes, we had 800 women the year before show up. So it's a shopping with different local vendors, and then we put on a two-hour um program. Yeah. As part of the day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Such I've heard great things about it. Such joy has come out of those events. Women love opportunities to come together and build community and laugh and they do. They do, and it's a lot of work.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

It is. And ours is a little bit different because of the music piece. So we have a lot of original music. I brought up different people from Nashville and used local people that we so it has a big music piece, which makes it a little bit different from other women's events too, and then the speaking piece as well. But yeah, it's really fun.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Rightfully so, with the music piece, right? Well, it makes it different. It makes it fun. It's the music, that being your background and your passion. Right. There's music tells it, it just music does something so special. We even last night we have a a group of of youth that we get together with, and my good friend Alicia that's helping lead it with me and her husband. She hadn't sang yet for the kids and their juniors and seniors. And we're like, have who's heard her Alicia's voice? And uh four people raise their hand out of the nine. We're like, five of you have not heard her. It's like when you when God gives you an angelic voice, it's you can feel the spirit like just ascend into your soul through the through the through the tones. And Amos loves music, he's got a great voice, and our daughter has a good voice. So it's that's awesome. It just does something so different that it's speaking, can't do.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

It touches where yeah, where words can't tender. And it's amazing the the things that happen through music as well. Even in my little world of what I do, just like one woman came, wanted to have breakfast with me, and a song I wrote that I didn't think was that great. It's on my very first project. She said that that song she was going to commit suicide. She had a plan, she had a note almost written, and she kept listening to that song, and God just spoke through that song and said, You can't hurt yourself. It's it was called The Power of Love. And I'm like, wow. Those kind of things. And then I had someone reach out this summer about the music at an event that had really gotten her out of a very deep pit. And you it's just those things that you don't even know how God is using it. Yeah. But it it it touches a different part of your soul. And I'm just blessed and so grateful that God gave me the gift of music and has brought people into my life like Laura to be able to keep going forward and not be alone in it. And He provides what we need. I think that's the story of. I wanted to share a verse because I ran across this the other day. This is from the Passion Translation, which is a newer translation. Love it. And we do this exercise called exercise called psalming. A lot of my songwriter friends, we just we go through the psalms and we just maybe make up what a melody David would have maybe put to this psalm. And it's amazing what can happen because a lot of really cool songs have come out of that. But we use the passion translation because it's very, it's very singable. But I ran across, ran across this as God opened my Bible to it the other day from Psalm 55. It says, so here's what I've learned through it all. Leave all your cares and anxieties at the feet of the Lord, and measureless grace will strengthen you. And I feel like that has been the story of my life. Leave it at the feet of the Lord, whether it's good, bad, ugly, something you're struggling with, but measureless grace will strengthen you. And the last uh line of that verse says, My life's hope and trust is in you, and you'll never fail to rescue me. And that's just what I feel like God has done throughout every piece of my story. He just, when we lay it at his feet, um, he he just gives us that measureless grace. Love it.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

So I agree. People ask me what like what's your policy in life for like cancellation policy or rescheduling policy, right? Because people can get pretty upset about that. I'm like, endless grace. We all have stuff, everybody's moving moving in so many different directions. And I believe in God's timing for everything. Exactly. And so it's when people I'm what's your what's your policy on this? Nothing but endless grace. Like when when it happens, it happens. Yeah, I just yeah, he'll make our way. Yeah, I'll make our way. Yes, yeah. Thank you for sharing that. That's beautiful. And it was Psalm 55, you said? Yes, Psalm 55. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

So who has been your favorite? And I don't know that you can have favorites, but I'm gonna ask you to that musician that you've worked with that our audience may know and why? That I've worked with.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Well, they probably won't know most of them because I'm mostly with songwriters and then musicians that are like Jimmy Nichols is um my producer, and we've written a bunch of stuff, and he's made a bunch of really cool connections for me in Nashville. He um was the musical director and keyboard player for Faith Hill and then Reba McIntyre both. And he's just uh I met him through talk about circumstances. He lived in South Sioux City, Nebraska for a while, had a little studio there that someone made for him, and I recorded there with a group I was in from my church called Celebrate uh tour before when I was married to my first husband. Played and sang with them, and they did my original songs. It was like my little outlet. So met Jimmy all those years back, and then yeah, so he's been very powerful. But Rachel Barentine is another one. Talk about connections. I met her through a really weird way doing a uh benefit concert for Partners for Patriots, which is a local group that uh provides service animals, dogs for wounded vets. And my son is a Marine, so have a heart for that. Performed at this uh benefit concert, and she says, Oh, you need to meet this friend of mine, Randy Dorman. He plays for Kenny Rogers, blah, blah, blah. She just moved up from Nashville to take care of her parents. And I'll, I'll, I'll connect you. Usually people don't, you're like, yeah, whatever, never hear from you. Well, she did. Randy and his wife Annie reached out to me. We did a Zoom. Next time I went to Nashville, had dinner with them. They're like, my family now.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

So, and I ended up getting her into treatment. Didn't know this. She was a closet user. And I came back from singing at a celebrate recovery, and I went from Arizona to Nashville. And so I'm at their house after just having been in Arizona and talking about celebrate recovery. She didn't know about it. Anyway, she ends up going to the Celebrate Recovery at their church, gets sober. And it was so cool. And one night, Rachel Barrentine is singing at their Celebrate Recovery, and Randy just felt this stir in his heart that he needs to meet, have us meet. Like, and he went up to her and said, I don't know why, but I feel like you need to connect with this friend of mine, Jill. She comes from Sioux City, blah, blah, blah. So next time I was in Nashville, he set up a co-write for the three of us. And we are at Randy's house. The co-wright was at his house. And after the write, we wrote this really cool, fun song together. And afterwards, Rachel goes, I've had this idea to write a song for each of the steps in 12-step recovery. And I've just been praying about who I should write it with. I think it's you. And I'm like, Oh, yeah. Hallelujah! So we wrote a song, uh project called 12. It's uh for each wrote a song for each of the 12 steps.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

That's what you gave me. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

And we got funding in 15 minutes from a local hospital to do. I mean, that's the whole thing is just a God.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

God story. Yeah. That's how Rachel and I met. And yeah. And then she had this idea, and we did it, and God provided a way. And I mean, there's so many stories like that that God, when you're willing to be.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

I was just gonna say that. Yeah. Take chances. Take chances. Say yes. Feel wild, it will feel crazy, but like introduce yourself to people, ask for introductions.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

And follow the Holy Spirit, though. That's yes. Have your heart open and listen and obey. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Yeah. That's a really good way to because your whole life, your whole life you have done that. So that is a really good way to say thank you, Jill, for really pushing through, following what God has called you to do and blessing so many people on this planet. Like you just think of the lives you've changed. Like when you get to heaven, it'll be really beautiful for that moment. God says, look at look at what you did with your obedience. And you're the whole place is gonna light up. And everyone better be sitting with some popcorn for at least like three days. Because it's gonna be just a beautiful movie and production of what you have what you've accomplished here. Well, yours as well, my friend.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Thank you, Jill.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Thanks for having me on.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Thank you so much for listening. We want to change lives through this podcast. And if you want to support this podcast or our guests, please see the links below for our Patreon and giving links.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

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SPEAKER_03 41:36

Thank you.