SPEAKER_04 0:00

Here comes a sand do. Here comes a sign that say it's all right.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Hello, fortitude audience. Thank you so much for being with us here today. My name is Heather Kittleson, and I am your host. And I have my wonderful husband across town in his office. Amos, thank you for joining.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Hello. Hi.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

And today we have Amber Lee Lago. And man, are you all in for a treat? This woman of God has been through a lot. And we are so excited to share her story with you today so that you can be just as blessed as we are for knowing her. And so Amber Lee, thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Thank you. Thank you, Heather. Thank you, Amos. I'm so grateful to be here with y'all. I've been looking forward to this.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Good, good. Amber Lee, where are you currently located?

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Where do you I'm in Dallas now? But it's so funny that you ask because we moved here three years ago. I was in LA for 31 years and we moved back here uh three years ago. And sometimes because I travel a lot and sometimes I'm flying in and I'm like, wait, where am I? Where? Because I feel like I've been here three years, but I still don't really know where everything is because I'm usually in my office or on the road to an event or something. And so, so yeah, but we are in Dallas. We're actually 20 miles outside of Dallas. We live on a little bit of land and you pull out of our neighborhood, and there's cows and horses, which was a big difference coming from LA.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Yeah, I'll say no cows or horses in downtown LA, as far as I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

No, no, definitely Starbucks. Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Amberly, when you say we, it's your husband, Johnny, and you have two daughters, beautiful daughters, right? Savannah and and Ruby, Ruby Lee, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Yes, yes. Thank you. So my oldest daughter, she's gonna be 30 soon. And next month she'll be 30. I can't believe, like, how does that happen? How does time go so fast? And right now she's in Africa and she's studying infectious disease. She go, she's at at Yale, finishing her PhD at Yale, which is a big deal because I didn't go to college. So I'm super proud that she got into Yale. And then um my 17-year-old Ruby, Ruby Lee is uh still home. She's going off to college next year. She wants to stay in Texas, but she is my mini-me. We have so much fun together. And then my hubby is retired and he loves retired life. And um, he got me a little pup. Her name's Nugget. She's a golden doodle. And I think he so badly wants her to be like his dog. But she's mine. She's my little shadow. And he at night, like when I go to bed, I'll usually go to bed before him. And I'll get up to go to bed and she follows me everywhere. And he'll be holding on to her collar. So she'll stay with him and she'll start crying. I'm like, nope, she's my dog. She knows when it's time to go to bed. So yeah, she's she'll be she's right outside my office door. And as soon as she hears me stop talking, she'll start crying. But at least she doesn't cry like when I'm talking. She knows to open the door, like I'm finished with Zoom or whatever. And so, yeah, so it's well trained.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah, she is, she is. Well, Amberly, I normally ask you to tell our audience a little bit, but I want to read your bio. I don't ever read people's bios, but as I was reading it, I was like, she ain't gonna say half of this about herself because you're so humble. So I just want to read a core a short, quick bio of some things that you have done and accomplished. And so you are an internationally renowned speaker on Grit, resilience, and human connection, inspiring others to find strength and joy through life's challenges. Amber Lee has captivated audience at global corporations like Lulu Lemon, Google, Athletic, and Herbal Life. And your TED X talk has a hundred, over a hundred of thousands of views worldwide. And that is not a those are not small things. And so I just I'm was reading that this morning and I went, man, like, and she's hanging out with me today.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Oh, well, I I'm hanging out, I get to hang out with you. Are you kidding me? Like Amos was saying, I need to take a number, stand in line when I'm back in Sioux Falls, so I get to talk to you. You need your own security.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Um I think it's because Amberly, and this is what we're gonna get into today, is that there is such a genuine love for people. Like you, there's a reason that people like Amos will say, flock to me. And it's not me. They're flocking to the Holy Spirit and the joy that just exudes from us. Like that is like taking ourselves out of it and giving him all the glory for what what we have been given, right? Like that's such a powerful thing. So I want our audience to make sure and hear that that you also have that same sort of belief system. Um, right? Like we you and I talked about that when I met you.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

I think that's why, you know, I I think when you do have that faith and you do know your values and um you meet people that match that same energy. And when I met you, I was like, oh yeah, she's my people. Um, but thank you for reading the bio. Sometimes when people read my bio, I'm like, oh, oh wow, I did that. And then often, even when I met you, so I met you in Sioux Falls when I was speaking um for the faith and business event. And I am telling you, Heather, I I was, I was nervous. I was asking, oh my goodness, why did they want me to speak at this event? The the interview process for that was not easy, by the way. I went through like three interviews to get that gig because I didn't realize they usually, I think it's the only time they've had a speaker that wasn't in the Catholic church. And I was their keynote speaker who happened to be a female, which they've kind of transitioned from a lot of male speakers, and then they had me. And um, I was so honored to get to be there. And but I was nervous. I still like I'm speaking at an event tomorrow. I'm their keynote speaker. And I'm like, I ask myself sometimes, oh gosh, are you sure you want me? Like, I, you know, I so I want people to know I still have self-doubt that creeps in. I still have moments where I'm like, there was a moment I remember I was about to speak at a virtual event, and it was for like 300 people. And I was so nervous and I had that self-doubt and limiting beliefs and the unworthiness kind of pop up. And I started talking to God. And I was like, God, you know, maybe this, I'm not the right person for this. I get so nervous, and who really cares about my story and this and that, and started talking to God, and my phone rings, and the whole phone lit up with my front friend Ryan's face on it. And he goes to my church and I was like, why is Ryan calling me? He never calls me. And I answer, I'm like, hey, Ryan. And he goes, Yeah, Amberly, I'm holding an event. It's in person. We're having it at this arena. We're expecting about 4,500 people. I want you to be the speaker for the event. And I was like, I'll be there. Thank you. And I got off and I was like, God, you have a funny sense of humor. Here I was like thinking I'm nervous about doing a virtual event, and now I'm gonna be in an arena. Okay, God, I will keep sharing a message and trying to bring light in people's lives. And I guess I talk about God a lot. I didn't realize it, but I guess I because God is so big in my life. And I guess I talk about God a lot because like I have this little ceramic frog that my daughter made me, uh, Ruby made me. And it's a frog because I say fully rely on God. And so every time I see a frog, I'm like, okay, yep, there's my reminder. Fully rely on God. It's not about me. He's the driver, it's not about me. So she made me a little frog. And um, I'm just grateful that I get to do the things that I get to do. I mean, to me, that's true success. When you fulfillment, when you get to serve, when you get to be around people that you love and do the things that you love. And when you get to really use your strengths to help others achieve success, to me, that's really fulfilling.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Emily, I appreciate that transparency so much. How often do you go through those feelings of nervousness?

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Oh my goodness, every day.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Oh, is that so every day?

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Oh, every day.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

I tell you in good company then.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Well, I I tell people, I've always told my clients this do something that scares you every day.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

And so I'm big on sticky notes. I have sticky notes on my desk.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Oh, we're kindred spirits. You have no idea. There's so many.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Oh, I love it. I love it. But you know what? I feel like it's not easy. If it, if it were easy, everybody'd be doing it, you know. But I it it takes a decision that you want more, you want to make an impact, you want to do something bigger. It takes the willingness to do it. And I always tell people, you know, you can have all the knowledge. And nowadays, knowledge is everywhere. Shoot, you can chat, GPT, anything. And it's at your fingertips. That the one little tap on your phone, you can find out anything. There's information through events, through podcasts. Information's everywhere. Wisdom is rare. And the difference is you can take all the information and you have it, but unless you take action and you really get the wisdom because you've taken action, and man, I have falled, I've fallen flat on my face, I have failed. And that's how I've learned some wisdom is because I have just messed up a lot. But you know what? It's because I've taken action. And when we take that action is when we get the wisdom, and then we can really grow.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

That's so true. What do you say to that person who is hard on themselves because they haven't taken that action and they don't really don't know how to take that next action? Maybe they're going through analysis, paralysis, maybe they're going through fear, uh, but they know they need to take some next step and they hear this, but they go, Yeah, I I'm still stuck. I don't know what to do. What do you say to that person?

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Well, a couple of things. Like I think sometimes when we feel stuck, we can write down and really think about what we're doing. What is moving the needle towards my business, my goals? What is making a difference in my life? And that could be in your health, it could be your business, it could be your relationships. If you don't know what's moving the needle, then you can say, okay, well, what are the things that I don't need to be doing? And you can make a list of things that you don't need to be doing. Maybe you don't need to be scrolling on Instagram. Don't consume, but create. Maybe it's um calls that you're making, but why are you making those calls? It's maybe even you don't need to have those thoughts, like how can you nip the negative thoughts right away? And so if you don't know how to get unstuck, you know what is keeping you stuck, and if you can start eliminating those things. But also I like to share that it's really important to set, you know, yes, you have that big goal, but bring it in a little bit closer so you can block out the noise and so you can start to take small steps in that direction. And I like to share, for instance, like when um I was bedridden. So I had a motorcycle accident and I was in the hospital the first time for three months. And when I got out of the hospital, I was in, um, we had a hospital said set up in the middle of the living room because I was still bedridden. I had a bedpan beside me. I I wanted so badly to run a marathon again, but I couldn't even stand up on my own. I couldn't even get down the hallway to use the bathroom on my own. And so if I would have only focused on running marathons, I probably would still be stuck in a hospital bed. Instead, I focused first on just being able to lift my leg up. And I had a physical therapist that would come over to the house five days a week. And the first time she came over, she said, lift your leg up off the bed. And I couldn't even lift my right leg that was crushed off the bed. And I thought, oh wow, am I paralyzed? Is it not gonna lift? So my goal at first was not to run a marathon. My goal was I wanted to be able to stand upright on crutches long enough to get right down the hallway to use the bathroom on my own. And that seems kind of crazy, but that was my goal. And so I would stand up literally. My goal was, okay, I can lift my leg up. Then my goal was, okay, I can stand up on crutches for one second. And it was literally one second. And the pain was so excruciating that I would have to lay down, I'd have tears running down my face, and I'd hold my leg up to let the blood come back down out of the bottom of my leg. Then it was, okay, tomorrow I'm standing up for three seconds. Then it was five, then it was 10. And I would literally stand up, not even weight bearing on that leg, but just to stand upright and would have tears coming down. But every single day I did what I could to get stronger in every single way, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically. I did everything that I could do. And I focused on those things that I could do instead of focusing on what I couldn't do. And that was allowed me, that's what allowed me to eventually be able to walk on crutches long enough to get around the corner. Then that led me to I could walk out the front door to get the mail. The mailbox was a second one. And then I wanted to be able to walk all the way down the block. And there was a brick wall that was in this like little shopping mall area. And so I would walk on my crutches and I would stand and I would have to prop my leg up on the side of that brick wall. And it took me probably 20 minutes to walk to Starbucks on the crutches. And that was a big deal. And I remember sitting at Starbucks and I was so happy. I was outside and I had my leg propped up on the other chair, and I was meeting some friends. And there was this guy that walked by. And I used to be in the fitness industry for 26 years. And this guy used to be a trainer at the gym where I worked as well. And he walked by and he looked at me and he goes, Oh my gosh, what happened to you? And I said, Oh, I was in a motorcycle accident. And he goes, Oh, it's a good thing I didn't marry you because I would leave you. And I was like, Wow, well, it's a good thing I never even went out on a date with you. And so when I say strengthen yourself mentally, spiritually, physically, all the things, because there were so many comments, not even just online, but in person, so many people looked at me and I did look bad. I looked like I had been through a war. But if I hadn't worked on myself in every possible way, every single day, then I could see where I might not ever want to leave the house again with comments like that.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

You you said a couple of things that I really want to highlight. You're describing this mindset of the gap versus the game. You're you're in the game every day. You're you've made it through this the surgeries, you're alive. That's gain, right? You're not looking and you're not focusing on the gap in front of you, you're focusing on the little things you can do. I think it's amazing that you said, I'm gonna wait 24 hours to stand on my leg for two more seconds. That's a very small goal. And you may think, Oh, I I actually need to make it for a minute tomorrow. No, just a goal. And then the compound effects, just like compound interest over time, two seconds, an extra do extra two seconds today, an extra two seconds 48 hours from now. That's huge. It's huge mindset.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

Yeah, it it's so much about mindset. And I actually got in well, not in trouble, but I had haters for the first time, which I was I was crushed. I had never experienced that. I um I remember I'd I'd flown to Salt Lake City and I had just done an interview for the Doctor's TV. And you'd think I'd be on top of the world. Oh my gosh, I'm on the doctor's TV. Um, I was sitting in the makeup chair about to go on stage for this event, and I had tears running down my face. And my husband FaceTimed me, and he's like, What's wrong? Aren't you excited? Like, you just got off the doctor's TV. Now you're speaking at this event. And I was like, honey, I've got haters. They're just, they're just hating me. I was in a support group for CRPS, which is interesting because I'm speaking at the annual event for the biggest foundation for CRPS. That's the nerve disease I was diagnosed with. And it's um uh I was in a private Facebook group with all these other people that had CRPS, and I thought those were my people. And on the doctor's TV, you know, on media, they can shorten things, they can make it sound a certain way. Well, they cut out the part where I had tried every kind of treatment from ketamine infusions, Eastern Western medicine. At one time I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 prescription medications, two different surgeries or procedures to have a spinal stimulator. They left all that out and they just said, girl cures or woman cures pain with her mind. Like her mindset cures pain. And I'm like, I didn't cure anything, but yeah, this is how I get through it. And the haters came out saying, you can't get through pain with your mindset. And it was my husband, I was telling him that I had these haters, and he said, Congratulations. And I was like, What do you mean, congratulations? He goes, Congratulations. He goes, that means you're getting your message out there. He goes, and you know what, you're not gonna be everybody's cup of tea. But it was a really good opportunity for me to go, okay, does this work for me? Is what I'm sharing actually work? And is it how I get through really hard days? I'm in pain every day, right now. And um, I just had one of my clients who also was happens to be diagnosed with CRPS. She goes, Hey, Amberly, I for she just checked on me. She's like, You're always checking on me. And I just realized I haven't checked on you. How are you doing? And I messaged her back. I said, I'm I'm having a good day. I said, you know, I've got pain, but it's the usual amount. You know, I know you get that. But it's so important when times like that come up and you might have some haters, that it's a good opportunity for you to believe in your message even more and to decide, no, I am gonna share this because it's changed my life. So I want to help other people. And I think sometimes we're either a mirror to people of what they're not doing or they're what they're not willing to do, or we're an inspiration to people and we're like, you know what, I'm gonna try that. I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna walk again, I'm gonna work out again, I'm gonna get on a plane again, I'm gonna go after my dreams. And so um it's been a learning experience for sure.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Your your whole story, like to come to where you are today and you have this much joy and such a different perspective on life. Like, I love your PACER and I love your and we'll get talked to talk about that in a minute, and your acronyms of like HULT, some different ways that you everyday like tune in because Amberly, you've gone through a lot. Like you my heart starts when I just think about like how similar our stories have been. I I didn't get into a motorcycle accident, but I definitely rode one and should have. I mean, like I think about the times when we were out driving our motorcycles and we we barhopped. You know, like there's so many times you think about like um the the alcoholic piece that is very familiar and the same as ours. The sexual abuse that we went through, you had it at a younger age, a younger age, and I had it at an older age. Um and then motorcycle, I was like, our kindred spirits and that pain and that suffering, and people go, Oh my gosh, you have it all together. And I loved how you brought it back. And said in another podcast I listened to, like people see what they see right now when they look at you, like this grit and this joy. And I'm an author and I'm on stage, like all this stuff. But the reality is every day you have to push through. It doesn't just like it's the you have to push through and you have to work so hard on all of this because you know at any given minute that something else could come along. So I want to back up a little bit, Amberly, and I want our audience to actually hear the vulnerability of what you have walked through, like an SUV crushing your leg, one percent chance. Eight years old, that sweet little girl with your with your stepdad. I mean, just the continuous disappointment or hurt that you've gone through. Can you share a little bit of of what that has has done for you now? The Amber Lee that we're looking at today.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Well, thank you. Thank you for that question. And oh my goodness. I didn't ever, I can say I never had a drink and rode my motorcycle. I don't, I think that's that's actually, I became an alcoholic after my motorcycle accident, but I never rode my motorcycle and drank. I ran around with all the guys and they we were going to bars. I would just was scared to drink and get on my motorcycle because I thought I will definitely crash. I can barely stand up when I used to drink. Um, but I didn't turn into an alcoholic until after my motorcycle accident. And and I never dealt with the sexual abuse. How I dealt with it, I never healed. I would, I was just dealing with it. I wasn't healing from it because I became, I did whatever made me feel good. And back then it was like becoming an overachiever. I was everything in high school from the president to the choreographer for the drill team, the drama team, the or the drama club, the uh cheerleaders. I I was an overachiever, all AP, graduated honors, then moved to LA and I made something with my life. I built this business up. I was just like, I ran. I was a runner. You would see me running all over town. If I had um 30 minutes in between a client, I was out the door running. I ran every single day. In fact, the day that I had my motorcycle accident, I had ran like 11 miles in my best time and beat my workout partner for the first time. I used to run with my friend Sean, who was fast. And I was like, yes. So I was feeling, I had just trained clients. I was feeling on top of the world. And I hopped on my bike. It was a long um holiday weekend, and this SUV came shot out of a parking lot and T-boned me. I was thrown 30 feet and I just remember sliding across the asphalt, thinking, you know, I hope another car doesn't hit me. I couldn't tell what I was sliding into. And when I came to a stop, I only looked down at my leg once because it is crazy to see your limb on your body completely broken into pieces. My foot was dangling off, only held on by the skin. And blood was everywhere. My ephemeral artery was severed. And do you know, even looking at that, one of my very first thoughts was oh, this can't be good. I might have to train my clients on crutches for a while. That was like a sign of like I was living in survival mode already. Like I was living, I'd been a single mom. I had lost everything in the divorce and had to rebuild my life. And so I feel like when I was younger, I was in survival mode of just trying to deal from the sexual abuse and never feeling safe. So, in some ways, like everything that I've been through, people said, Oh, could you would you do you wish you could take it all back? And I can't think that way because that's in the past. I think that it's up to us to play the heck out of the cards we've been dealt and see, ask ourselves, like instead of why me, ask what's next. And it doesn't, you're not defined. I don't define myself as someone who is a sexual abuse survivor or motorcycle accident survivor or CRPS warrior. Those are things, they're part of my story. I don't think we're defined by things that we went through. I think we're defined by our resilience and what we do with what's left from whatever happened. And so um I remember when I wrote my first book, it's called True Grit and Grace, and the book came in the mail. My husband's looking at the back and he goes, Oh my gosh, do you know that it's written on here that you went through sexual abuse? And I said, Yeah, I wrote about it in the book. Maybe you should read the book, you know. And I did, I will tell you, it was vulnerable. And my second book, Joy Through the Journey, was even more vulnerable because I talk so much about recovery. I got sober in 2016 and I talk a lot about my sobriety. And um, it was hard for me to be that vulnerable. But you know what? It is so rewarding when I have people come up to me and they're like, thank you for sharing about the sexual abuse and how you've gotten through it, because it allows me to walk with my head held up high and shine a light on that shame that I felt. And I appreciate you also saying, like, to look at me, you think, oh, I I think a lot of times it's human nature to look at people and go, oh, they've got it all figured out, or it's easy for them. I do not have it all figured out. I'm still trying to figure things out every single day. And you know what? It's hard a lot of times for me. And even yesterday, I wasn't feeling very great. And my husband, I think he's got PTSD from me being in the hospital so often. I was just back in the hospital three weeks ago. And he knows I have a big event tomorrow. And this morning, the first thing he said is, Are you going to be able to drive to that event? I was like, Yeah. He goes, Okay, well, you sound better. But I just feel like there's nothing worse than knowing that my pain is causing someone else's pain. I don't want that, you know? And so every single day I do my best. Um, I wake up early so I can get my prayer in and my gratitude list. I have accountability. I have ladies that we share a gratitude practice together. Um and so I do everything I can. I mean, I'm in my workout clothes right now because right after this, I have a um a workout. I actually, it's a client that I've had for over 20 years. She's the only fitness client that I have left. And I still see her because we work out together. But I think it's so important and it does take grit, but it takes connection. I think that grit without connection is resistance and grit with connection to your heart, to your purpose, to God and to others, that's where you find resilience.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Yeah, your gratitude piece and community and making sure that your pain doesn't take over your mental because you live in chronic pain. I mean, that that CRPS is dubbed as the suicide disease.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Yeah, it's crazy. It's and I I can understand why it's dubbed that, because the pain is ranked higher on the pain scale than a kidney stone, than an amputation, than childbirth, than anything. And to live with it when there's no known cure, supposedly, I still try. I still, I'm still trying everything I can. Um, it you really have to be. I I couldn't do it without my faith. I could not do it without working on my mindset because it does take mental toughness. It does take me connecting with God every morning, saying, please walk with me through the day, keep me sober, lift any obsession for alcohol. Because when you that's what got me into drinking alcohol, was I couldn't find a solution for my pain. Now I pray that if you're listening, you never experience being hit by an SUV, but pain is pain. We all have pain in some way, whether it's emotional or or physical. And pain demands to be heard. You know, it will come up in everything we do, it'll come out in the way that we lead, the way that we love, and every part of our business, every relationship. And so we have to let that pain rise to the surface and really heal it instead of just dealing with it. And so um, it was hard for me. I wanted to ignore it, but I think that when we can accept who we are, where we are on our journey, then we can take those action steps with grit. But not only that, we can connect with the community that we're supposed to, the people that we're destined to meet and supposed to connect with because we're being completely transparent with what we're going through and how we're healing. Um, and I think that's one of the reasons we connected so deeply is because you started, you know, I never know exactly what I'm gonna share on stage. And I think that at that Faith in Business conference, I did share about my sobriety. And then you shared that with me. I was like, oh, no wonder you're my people. It's because we, even though we hadn't shared that in the very beginning, I feel like we had that connection, that same energy, uh, very similar values, if not the same, you know. And so that I think when we share something that might be vulnerable, it allows us to connect on a deeper level.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

It does. Don't forget our sticky note connection. Exactly. I should I should just define for the audience what CRPS stands for, complex regional pain syndrome. It's a chronic pain condition that develops after an injury or surgery, typically an arm or leg, is characterized by severe burning pain, swelling, and changes in and changes in the skin and color and temperature. Is that accurate?

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. And so even this morning, um, I'm speaking at an event in Minneapolis. And look, I understand I run my own events, I understand it's very expensive to fly speakers in and to get them in the hotel and all that stuff. But he wants me to fly in the day of, speak at the event, and the event ends at nine o'clock at night and fly out. And I, you know, it's not easy for me to admit this, but I had to message him and say, Hey, I fly in the day before because my leg swells up like a balloon and I'm in excruciating pain when I get on a plane. And I'm gonna, in order to show up to your event fully with good energy and be rested and really bring the energy to your event, I'm gonna need to fly in the day before. And that's hard for me to admit, but I look at everything. I don't look at it, I it's not about the money. Well, I had to shift that actually. The more money that I make, the more I can pay people and help other people. And that kind of shifted that. But I measure things in energy because I deal with excruciating pain on a daily basis, and there are things that flare me up pretty bad. I look at energy. How much energy is it gonna take me to go to the mall and walk through the stores and go shopping with my daughter? That kills my leg, by the way. How much energy is it gonna take? Because when you are in dealing with any kind of pain, physical or emotional, mental, any kind of pain, it takes more energy. And so I measure things and energy, and I've had to get better about that because what I would do is I would do back-to-back events and this. And then I would come home and I would not be able to get off the couch. I'd be in so much pain. And that's not fair to my family. And so, yeah, the pain from this is there, I'm grateful I can fly. I'm grateful I get to work. There are a lot of people, you know, when I went to a doctor, he told me I'd be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. And he said I'd be permanently disabled. I'd never work again. And I was like, that's not the life I imagined for me. Now, there are some people that are in wheelchairs, nothing against wheelchairs. My little brother's been in a wheelchair his whole life. I love to dance, I love to work out, I love being on stage. You know why? Because I get to connect with the audience and I get to hug their neck after I get off stage and I get to talk to people and I get to meet people like you. So that's my favorite, that's my favorite thing to do, you know? And so um it is a baffling, baffling thing. Doctors don't quite understand it. I mean, I've flown out of the country to try eradical treatment last year that I ended up back in a wheelchair for a while. So, what it does to you mentally to be in and out of a wheelchair, up and off crutches is hard. And so to develop that mental toughness and the resilience that you need, I really think you have to work on that before you need it. Because life is always going to throw us challenges, you know, whether you're dealing with a nerve disease like I was diagnosed with, or you're dealing with life being lifey, you know, and you're an entrepreneur and you're building a business or you're trying to start a coaching program, or you're, you know, a stay-at-home mom or dad and you're chasing kids. Life can get lifey and it's hard sometimes. But if you have that mental toughness and the resilience, then you're going to be able to get through those moments and keep getting back up. And I talk a lot about being unstoppable. I mean, that's my master on I even have a little unstoppable thing here on my mic. And it's not unstoppable isn't about, you know, falling or failing. We all fall, we all fail, but it's about getting back up. It's choosing to rise, and it's joy that gives you that spark to keep going.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

Yeah, that's so true. Tell me about just resiliency and building up resiliency before you need it. It's such a hard concept to wrap your your head around because maybe you don't need it. Probably you probably will. How do you how do you get the motivation to get out of the chair and build that resiliency?

SPEAKER_02 37:16

Um, I think it's so important to ask yourself why instead of what or how. Why? Why is it? What is what's that driving force? Because I was ready to throw in the towel and give up. And I even had thoughts of, you know, my daughters could find another mother, my husband could find another wife. I was just at my darkest time. And it was when I prayed and I felt like God was telling me, don't give up, keep going, get up. And then I heard my daughter's voice. I was in the hospital bed downstairs, and all I heard her say was, Mama. And in that moment, I knew why I was going to get up. I was going to be an example of resilience for them and for others. And so whenever anything is hard, I always ask myself, well, why am I doing it? What is that driving force? And it could be something as simple as, man, I really don't want to make a video for Instagram. I really don't want to do it reels. I, oh, this person wants me to make a video for their event. Uh, oh, I hard for me to get the phone and do a video and like record myself. But I ask myself, well, why? It's not about me. It's about how I can serve others. And there may be one person out there that's ready to throw in the towel and all they need is to hear that message. And so if you're going through a season of, well, I just don't know what to post, or I don't know what to do, or I'm too scared to make that send that email or make that phone call, just do it. Take the chance, remember why, and take yourself out of the occasion uh equation. It's not about you, it's about how you can serve. And that really helps me. And we going back to the sticky notes too. If it's not written down for me, it doesn't get done. Like it has to be written down. I'm old school, I have my paper calendar, I've got the sticky notes, and I have what my priorities are, what has to be done before I close my eyes at night. And so if it's 11 o'clock at night and it hasn't been done, guess what? I made a promise to myself that I was going to do that before I go to bed. So I do it. When you make promises to yourself and you keep them, that's how you start to build not just resilience, but you build your confidence, you build your trust in yourself. If you stay sober just one more day, you start to trust yourself more. And you know what? I would suggest starting out with something as simple as setting your alarm. Set your alarm in the morning. And when that alarm goes off, don't push snooze. Get up out of bed. That way you've kept your promise to yourself. You're telling yourself subconsciously too that you can do hard things. Man, sometimes it's hard to get out of bed. I hear you. I don't want to sometimes. I just want to cuddle with my little golden doodle and stay in bed. But I made the promise to myself and to other people that I was going to show up. I was going to do it. And trust and honesty is really the most important. I mean, that's my important most important thing in relationships and my value. Like I have got to trust myself. And I always keep my word. I don't know if that's a faith thing or a Texas thing where you are good, you're, you know, you do a handshake and you're good for it. That's how I want to be.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Oh, damn really. All right. I I want to go to the hospital for a second. I know Amos has another question that we'll get to. Um when you were in the hospital and there was a very specific doctor. Because the drive in the ambulance, like you went through a lot. And for those those of you who are listening who haven't heard like the full detailed message, because I I feel like we just don't ever get enough time to dig into it all. But like I highly encourage anyone who's listening to follow you on Instagram, follow you on LinkedIn, whatever it is, because you are so inspiring, but you also have shared some really intimate details about what happened on that day and the people God put in place. Um but something that stuck with me was the doctor who put your leg on his lap. Can you share that? Because that is that is what brought me to tears because we are all such a big, beautiful masterpiece, right?

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Oh, thank you. It makes me emotional just thinking about it because you know what? I I I start thinking about like this morning for some reason. I thought about this where I got transferred. So when I woke up out of a coma, they told me they were going to amputate my leg. They said, you know, you only have a 1% chance. This is like a war wound. There's nothing we can do for you. And all I heard in that moment was, there's a 1% chance. I have a chance. And so I thought, well, I don't want to amputate it. If I have a chance, I want to find a doctor that's willing to take that chance with me. And so I got transferred to Cedars. That took an act of God, let me tell you. Got transferred. And I remember I was just thinking about this this morning for some reason. When I first woke up, I was thinking about this when I got to the hospital. They said, well, it was on a Sunday. And they said, Well, Dr. Wis is away on a work trip, and he's going to come see you tomorrow on a Monday. And I was in the hospital room by myself, and this man walks in and he has on, you know, a khaki colored jacket and just in not in scrubs or anything. And he had a name tag that said D. Wiss. And I looked at his name tag and I grabbed his arms with both my hands. I grabbed his arm and he was probably thinking, oh my gosh, who is this lady? And I said, You're Dr. Wiss. I said, You're the doctor that's going to save my leg. And he very calmly kind of took his arm back and he goes, Well, no, he goes, I we're going to see what we can do. First, we're going to go in there and clean it all up. We're going to see what we can do. And there was a, there was a timeline. If you wait too long, the bone's dying. So you have to like put it back together as fast as you can. And so when I after 34 surgeries, and just I would have a surgery, a day of recovery, surgery, day of recovery. 34 Four surgeries in total, I was still in so much pain. I'd been diagnosed with CRPS. And I thought, well, I've got the solution. I just can't deal with this anymore. We need to go ahead and cut it off. And I went back to Dr. Wis after he had done all these surgeries to save my leg. And I said, Dr. Wis, I appreciate you saving my leg, doing all these surgeries, but you know what? It's just giving me too much pain. We need to go ahead and cut it off. And he goes, Well, we can't do that. And I said, Well, what do you mean? No, I need to get on with my life, cut it off. I need to move on. He said, Well, you've got caught. Thank goodness he knew about CRPS. He said, Well, you have been diagnosed with CRPS and it could get worse. Um, it could spread. And then he put my leg in his lap, and that's what changed my life. He put my leg in his lap, not on the table, but on his nice white coat. And I my first thought was, I can't believe he's putting my disgusting leg, my deformed, disgusting leg on his nice white jacket. And he looked at it like it was a masterpiece. Like, look at what he had saved, look at what he had created almost. And I thought, wow, if he can look at it that way, maybe I can learn to look at it differently too. And something in me just shifted. And it wasn't easy. But day by day, I started to accept all these scars and started to more than accept them, but look at them as not like look at all these flaws, but look at how amazing the human spirit is, how the body heals, and look at wow, these are victories. This is all I've overcome. This is like a badge of honor to have these scars. And look how I've healed. And it shifted everything. And I started being able to even wear shorts again and a skirt and walk on the beach in a bathing suit showing the scars. And I feel like sometimes that's all we need is somebody to believe in us until we can believe in ourselves a little bit. And I believe it allowed that we are walking permission slips. You know, when we can love ourselves, we are a permission slip for others to love themselves. If we can show our scars and be proud of them, we can show that others can heal and wear those scars as a badge of honor. And sometimes those aren't visible scars. Sometimes those are scars that are deep wounds, like, you know, when you've been sexually abused or gone through hard things or physical or emotional abuse or been living with a narcissist, all of those things. But we heal what we reveal, and then um we can go help others.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

The listeners who contact us the most are the ones who say thank you for talking about shame and talking about the scars because I carry so many and because we carry so many, and because we feel like we haven't really stepped into our purpose or what God has called us to do it because we're stuck, right? We're stuck in that space. And so they'll say, Thank you for sharing that vulnerable space and allowing me to come as I am with all of it. And that's what you provide also is such a beautiful way of saying, like, yeah, this is an external scarring on my legs and the abuse that I've endured and the things, but we are all overcomers and we are all masterpieces. And to be able to come as we are and like like accept people in their just some of their deepest, darkest stuff, man. It is just it is powerful the healing that can happen. Um, I don't I I wish more people would allow that space. I really do. We don't need to show up and pretend we got it together. We don't.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Yeah, I I really don't have it together. I mean, I'm like I said, I'm learning as I go. And, you know, just a few weeks ago, I had my favorite time of the year is I held a retreat for my mastermind members at my house. It's I had been preparing for this. I had speakers that I flew in. I had the food order, the restaurant, the private event at the restaurant, the boat rented to go for a day on the lake, and I wasn't feeling good. And it was getting worse and getting worse. The morning of it started getting really bad, like something wasn't right. I just I knew I was in pain, but it was more than I could handle. All of a sudden I started getting really sick. Well, for me to go to the hospital, my husband knows it must be bad because he was like, You don't look well. Like you need to go to the hospital. I'm like, I am not going to the hospital. Well, I had to admit and be very vulnerable to the speaker that was there, to all these mastermind members that had come. And I said, Hey, y'all, I'm really not feeling well. I have been looking forward to this, but I am gonna let Arjune take over. Uh, and they appreciated my honesty and vulnerability. And I ended up at the hospital. I had a kidney stone that I was passing that was causing a kidney infection. And here I was trying to grit it out and keep going. But this kidney stone, I wasn't even gonna let a kidney stone stop me. And you know what? It was instead of focusing on, I can't believe I missed my own retreat, like this is horrible. I focused on, wow, how blessed I am that I had two speakers that were like, we got this. I got it. We're gonna run it. I'll do hot seats for you. We got this. Every mastermind member, it gave them the opportunity to show up also and be of service and carry on. It ended up, it wasn't the way I planned, but because of my honesty and vulnerability, it ended up, I think we grew even closer as a family. You know what I mean? And so I think that's so important. And I'm so grateful that you hold that space for people. And Heather, the things that I've heard you share are just so beautiful. You know, you've sent me clips of you speaking and uh your show, I've heard listened to episodes, and it's like, no wonder your listeners love you so much is because you both are just so real and honest and authentic and just allow other people to do the same.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

Yeah, thank you for that, Emberlee. I feel like we're all on this journey together, and the more grace and love that we give one another, but not only that, accountability. Like we have to hold each other accountable, ourselves accountable, but be there for one another and ask for help when we need it. You did that, you did that multiple times, like what you just explained, and then also your friend you called that was in sobriety or in recovery. Like just we have to, because I didn't, and it almost killed me.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Me, me too. You know, I think that if you can get anything from our whole conversation today, it's you don't have to do it alone. You're never alone. Reach out, ask for help. You can reach out to me, send me a DM on Instagram. I answer all my DMs at Amberly Lago Motivation. But I love when people reach out to me. And yeah, you don't have to do it alone. And you know, I just put on my Instagram story the other day, is it hard for you to ask for help? Do you know it? I looked at the polls, 97. I think it was 95 or 97% of the people said it was hard to ask for help.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

Yeah, even our save your life. It can save your life. And so many people want to be able to help. We all have a we all have a want to serve. We we do. It's uh it's in us, it's God's DNA to serve others. And when we get to man, you will get to see people light up. People light up to serve others. Oh, Amber Lee, um, this has been wonderful. Thank you for blessing our listeners. Thank you for sharing your story. I really cannot encourage everyone enough to to follow you. You're you are in bright light. I mean, I have your book right here, the yellow, everything about you is bright. And when I um when I think about you specifically, it's such a great example of glory to glory. Thank you. Every single thing God does, he says, Glory to glory. We're we're gonna continue to probably go through tough times, but as long as you get back up, I'm gonna show you what glory to glory looks like. So fight the good fight, keep going, work your way through, find the joy through the journey and follow Amher Lee. Absolutely follow, and you will be inspired every single day. So thank you for everything.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me on. I just love seeing your face again, and I really hope to see you, Amos. I'm gonna put a number in so I can talk to Heather. Get me past the security when I'm there in Sioux Falls.

SPEAKER_03 53:39

I am the security.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Oh my husband's the security. I bet it'll be great when you come. We'll we'll try to schedule some time. Sounds good. Thank you so much for having me on. You're a blessing.

SPEAKER_03 53:52

Thanks for transparency. It's a it's an honor, it's a it's inspiring. Thanks for your vulnerability.

SPEAKER_01 53:58

Thank you. I appreciate y'all. Good luck tomorrow on your thank you.

SPEAKER_02 54:04

Thank you. I hope I'm praying God speaks through me, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_03 54:10

Thanks, everyone. Good. Thank you so much for watching. We want to change lives through this podcast and bring peace and hope. And if you'd like to support this podcast or our guests, please see the link below for our Patreon and giving links.

SPEAKER_00 54:23

And also, if you would please like and subscribe and share this episode with.