SPEAKER_02 0:00

Here comes the sun do. Here comes the sun to say. It's all right.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Hello, Fortitude audience. Thank you for joining us today. My name is Heather Kittelson and I am the host of Fortitude. And today I am here with my wonderful, amazing, handsome husband, Amos. Hello. I tried to think of something clever. I gotta come up with a few better things.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

You know, I'm here pretty much every time.

SPEAKER_04 0:41

So once again, what if you're not? I'm happy to be here. Okay. Well, and today in our studio, we have a part two. Mr. Paul DeYoung has stepped into the studio today. Hi, Paul.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Well, thank you. Good morning. You two look marvelous like usual.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Thank you. I like your new shirt.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

So I was just saying, I want to get a shirt like that. I want to shop at the same place you're shopping at.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

Well, I would take you there, but I don't think you'd wear something that's patterned because you're a black, white, and gray guy. It's like the cut.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

That's the cut that matters. Well, it's kind of interesting. I can't take credit for this, and I have worn this quite a few times, but several years ago, my daughter ordered these online. I think they had normally been like $300 shirts, and they were a fraction of the cost this, and they've been worn and torn by just the tailoring. You can tell they're a nice shirt. A nice shirt. But they are I'm not saying that to be arrogant because they're a fraction of that cost. But there's a difference in shirts. Good job, Matty.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

I've yet to buy a shirt that costs more than six.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

See, this is the thing we need to work on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:52

Amos will shop at Costco and just get, you know, three or four, three or four black of actually not three or four, fourteen to eighteen of the same black shirt.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Yeah. It takes the decision in the morning out of the equation. It's so much easier.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Well, I'm glad I have permission to maybe get you some fancy, fancy shirts. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Like I said, they these were, I think, ended up twenty to thirty dollars each. They must have been closed out. So enough about that. But getting back to Amos' black shirt, Steve Jobs had black sweaters that he wore continually. So that's where it covered for me. We're in the midst of greatness.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Well, you are not kidding, Paul. You are not kidding.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

So you did say it just takes the decision out of it out of his day. And that's my goal. Just take the take that decision off my place so I can make really more important decisions.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

That is legit. He he has followed a little bit of the Steve Jobs Jobs principle with that.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

And it used to be fine because anything that had a landscape guards that are logging it, that's what I'd wear that day. Now I have to be a little more selective.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

Well, you look good, Paul. Let's just Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Enough of all my shirts.

SPEAKER_04 2:55

All right. Well, Paul, we are super excited. We're kicking off season two. This is number one episode, season two. It is it it's hard to believe. It's been almost two years already since you and I met. And after meeting you, and we talked about having you um just share your story. You were the most listened to episode on all 40 of season one. And I think that that is just spectacular. It says volumes about who you are, about your legacy. And you're so humble. So I know you're gonna be like, no, no, I'm just just Paul. But you are Paul DeYoung, who has changed a lot of people's lives and had a servant, servanthood leadership mentality your entire life. And I am I'm honored. I know Amos is too completely honored to be your friend and to have you be a part of our lives and our ministry. And so here we are, and you're back. And a lot has happened. So we have a lot of catching up to do for our audience.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Well, you got me up on a pedestal here. I'm afraid I'm gonna let everybody down.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

So it's no frills, just to the point. And I'm sure Amos and Heather always gets to the point. So I won't have to worry about that.

SPEAKER_04 4:13

Well, when we first met at let's bring the audience back, they can go and listen to the episode too. I would actually suggest that they go to your episode, which I think is right around like the seven, seventh episode. Um, you were the previous owner of landscape garden centers here in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. And recently retired. What are we like 44 or five years?

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yes, that's around five years.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

And you retired because after you were diagnosed with Parkinson's and the health your health was doing what it does with Parkinson's, you decided you needed to probably step down. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 4:54

That is correct. And that was a big decision because it I'm in my early 60s now, so I was still in my 50s, which not at all ready to retire and step away. But it w it was time and the doctors had told me with Parkinson's, if you have more of a stressful life, if you if you work on your health and wellness and step down your stress level. And at that time my balance was going and it was kind of right on the edge where I was fallen off the ledge, or it felt like I was fallen off a cliff at that time. We'll talk about that a little more later. But you don't fall off the ledge. You just per in your perception, you're afraid you're going to, but there's there's plenty of catch-alls below to catch you.

SPEAKER_04 5:38

And that's kind of the beginning of what you go through with Parkinson's. Is just that you're trying to feel feel your footing in different things because you're balance.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

Well, balance in your life, in your heart, your mind, and your soul. It's I think it's more of a spiritual thing where you feel your life changing dramatically and there's nothing you can do. Like with previous physical therapies, I knew there was an end result that was going to end up with it being much better. You solve some of your physical issues. But I knew this was permanent, it was only going to get worse. And I was looking, you know, I've always been a visionary, I'd like to say, being in business and all my whole life. So I was looking too far ahead for the end result of what ultimately is going to end up. But there's a lot of life in between diagnosis and end life. And things have changed, some things positive, some negative. Physically, things have continue to change. Like my I prayed that my voice would stay clear. And because and Heather and I have talked about that. When you ask me a question, again, I have a hesitation where I look at you like this blank stare, like the chickens are in the coop, but the fox isn't there. So I don't know if that's the right terminology.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

It sounds perfect to me. Yeah. It's a it's just like a it's a quick pause.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

And then you stare blankly in the face.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Then you stare blankly.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Because they call it parky. And I'm oh I'm saying this out of no disrespect, but it's called Parkinson's face, or I call it parky face, where you stare blindly at something without any expression on your face. And I can tell that on photographs of myself where I'm kind of staring blankly, and the and you get this kind of an emotion, emotionless face.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

It's kind of common. What's going on in that moment before you reply? Well, it's just my my vocal cords and my mind won't I know what I'm gonna say, but I just have a pause in there, and it it can be extremely frustrating, but yet you adapt to it, and I don't notice it that much anymore.

SPEAKER_04 7:46

Yeah. And people who may not know that about someone with Parkinson's, they may think you're done talking and they may fill that blank space. Right. And what I've noticed in just our friendship in the last two years of being together, you have to just wait and just wait until your vocal cord and your brain connect so that you can continue what you're saying. Um for someone who used to be really I still am. I can't, I can't say that I used to, I still do it. I feel the air, I feel the blank space with words because it's uncomfortable when when there's a pause in a conversation. But in with with the disease, it's like it does that. So it's really important that the other person that who's having a conversation just gives you a moment and pauses with you.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Yes. And with Parkinson's, you always picture somebody that's shaking uncontrollably. That's the way I pictured it. So my father was diagnosed then. But I'm not really a shaker. One, you can probably notice my right hand is tremoring, but it's not moving uncontrollably. But I'm more balanced and rigid. Like getting dressed is a real fiasco. We should really have that on. Of course, that's not a real good picture either. Me getting dressed, but it it was getting to the point where to get showered and dressed would take me an hour and a half, and that's with a five, 10 minute shower, and then the rest of the time trying to wrestle my t-shirt and socks on. And so it's just so frustrating. Because pretty soon you're you're tied up in your own shirt and you get your your head and the arm. The arm sleeve. So it's and you gotta finally just giggle about it because if it's gonna drive you nuts otherwise.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

Yeah. Well, I'm super grateful. Little plug for visiting angels, because we our dear friends, Jessica and Travis, Remy, own visiting angels, and we called them in and said, Hey, like, let's get someone in to help Paul with this so that your energy can best be applied in other places versus trying to get it your head through your shirt sleeve.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah, that's and I got kind of a big mail on anyhow. So that was kind of a not a good sight.

SPEAKER_04 9:56

Well, the fact that they have someone coming in to help you has been huge. And I I'm just so grateful that that you have a companion. And um, so we'll get to why you also are in a in an independent living. So let's let's take a step back though for our audience. And for the past two years, so when we very first met, it was almost two years ago at a Arboretum board meeting.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Correct. You were, I believe it was your second meeting. I think it was the, yeah, that was the first time we met, was at the board meeting.

SPEAKER_04 10:27

Yep. And the way that we met in my non-filter communication, and I just simply had said to you, like, hey, what's with your walker? Like, you're I remember in my head thinking, he's way too young to have a walker. Why? And then I and then it came out not very smooth.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

You were like, wow, you're a bold soul. I thought she's pretty forward. I wasn't offended or anything, but I thought, okay, here we go. I'll tell my story.

SPEAKER_04 10:55

Yeah. So then we had the chance to sit and talk, which was was wonderful. And to move quickly through that, you uh came on the podcast and you shared all of your story. And, you know, from the spider bite to the car accident to um you during the podcast were in a really, really tough season. You were still living in your big, beautiful home that you raised your family in and were in the process of getting a divorce. And a lot of people did not under didn't know your full story, but even people who loved you and just had such respect for you heard heard the podcast and started calling you, right? They were calling you and bringing new things and because they didn't realize the extent of where you were mentally, spiritually, and emotion or yeah, mentally, spiritually, yeah, and emotionally. Right? Like things started happening.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

That was when I first met you and when I was on the podcast, that was some of the toughest months of my whole life. And then of course, you don't want to shout some of these so-called problems, and they are problems or challenges from the mountaintops. We have a tendency to always tell people it's okay. And when you get real with people, that's the opportunity for people to pray for you, people to help you. And when they say it takes a village, that's usually when you're raising kids, but it takes a village just took a village to surround me with support. People stopped over, brought, would bring me lunch, we'd go. I was not really a coffee drinker, but people took me out for coffee two, three times a week. So it helped me very much emotional and emotional and the physical aspect of Parkinson's, because like I said, I got out of the business because I had to get some stress out of my life. And then, of course, it was a stress-filled life, so my health went from a from a five, five to ten or whatever direction it needed to be, whether it's up or down. I was really affected. Then I started taking some falls. I got some scars on my forehead to show that. So just the support of everybody around me. I've garnered more. They always talk about what a rough world, and this world isn't a kind, gentle place anymore. I found that to be just the opposite. There's good and bad and everything, but there's a lot of good individuals, very loving people in this world that are all you have to do is ask for help, which is very hard to do. Because we're wired to help other people, not have other people help us.

SPEAKER_04 13:38

Yeah. So let's talk about that, Paul, because we we have talked about that a lot. That, you know, when I come and pick you up and put your walker, pick your walker up and put it in the car. And like that's tough. It you know, a year or two two years ago, because you're such a gentleman, it's hard it, it is hard to do that. It's hard to let people buckle you in or help you with your walker, help, help with different things because you you were that guy.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Yes, I I think my parents raised me that way. That you always be a gentleman and you treat ladies and men the same, but ladies you hold in high esteem, and you don't want to be the guy having a lady help you, or somebody that's 80 years old helping you with your your walker, help you get your seatbelt on. It's it's kind of unnerving. But what I found come to find that people want to help you, all you gotta do is ask for help, or most certainly allow them to help you. You don't even have to ask because people step forward and that's their chance to be kind to you.

SPEAKER_04 14:45

Yeah. Yeah. And what was the switch you had to go through, Paul? Because there's a moment where you're like, okay, enough is enough, Paul. Stop being stubborn. Because we we as I guess our generation have parents who are moving into a the state, or maybe already are moving into a state, of having to um move out of their home into assisted living or into independent living. And it's a hard mental transition. It's a it's a to move out of your home into a whole new home with a bunch of strangers. And some kids can be really insensitive about that. They can be like, oh, you can't, you're, you can't drive your car anymore and you can't walk on your own anymore. You have to move. And there can be some disconnect because it feels controlling on your on the parents' part or like on your part. But really, it's you're you're having to let go of your independence, and that is not easy. So, can you give advice from your side of things of what you walked through, and then also from the side of like the son or the daughter?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Well, that's an interesting question because I had had a couple accidents in a short period of time. The the second one could have been much worse. I just couldn't react at a stoplight. I went right through a red. And there's a young lady that did have some, they were more than minor injuries, so that kind of then my kids had suggested that I probably not drive anymore.

SPEAKER_04 16:22

Oh, you did get into an accident in the driving process. Oh okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

I drove after that, but then my kids would ride with me and they'd hold on for their life, so then they insisted on driving after that. So then I started falling in my home when I had a couple late night visits for my sons because I I had to be taken to ER. And without realizing I was I thought I was being optimistic, but then they talked to me about going to assisted living because I I sold my house and then I just kept thinking, aye, aye, aye, that's this isn't fair. I gotta do this. I and my oldest son can be more blunt and type A. And he says, Dad, this isn't all about you. This is about other people that worry about you and lay awake and have to come help you during the middle of the night. So that kind of opened my eyes when my kids were worried about me. So it wasn't all about me. There's other people that love me that wanted to see me get additional help.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Is it is that there's a healthy balance there because ultimately it some of what they want you to do is it's fear-based. They don't want to have to deal or think about you being hurt or getting or someone else getting hurt or being involved in something. And so that's comes from a place of fear, doesn't it? Yes. And there's a healthy version of that and an unhealthy version of that. What is on what's the what are those what could those look like?

SPEAKER_00 17:53

And one thing is, you know, I thought I don't think they were doing it for convenience where they didn't want to help, but it I think it was based on fear that I'd be there during the night and then they'd get there and I wouldn't be using my walker and I wouldn't have my life alert thing on. So the roles kind of changed from me being the so-called authoritarian of the family to me being last in command where my kids were looking out for my best welfare, and and I know that's kind of the pa the rite of passage. But I think it was their their concern that made me consider it. And then I wasn't eating correctly, and diet's so important for for keeping your health up, keeping strong. So and I had have to have to always get volunteers to give me a ride to physical therapy, and whereas now with my assisted living, they take care of all my transportation. So there are some benefits that and then my mother bless her heart, she's had on for a couple years on her there's a magnetic thing that says there's a flower on it. I remember when my dad had Parkinson's, he lived in independent living, he was in nursing care. And she that's of course that wasn't how she planned her life. Her last years to be with my father, and on her bridge she had a picture of a flower and it said bloom where you're planted. So it doesn't really matter where you're at, whether you're in a 5,000 square foot home or in a one-bedroom apartment. Your life your quality of life can be what you decide it's gonna be. Probably not physically, but as long as your mind's capable, it's it's all about your spiritual spirituality and you can keep your dignity in in more ways than one. I don't know if that answered your question.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Yeah, I I think about my my parents getting getting older and in when I get in their position too, and I'm sure my kids will start saying things like, We don't want you to do this because we're worried that you didn't get hurt. And I know I'm gonna have the opinion of, well, if I get hurt, that's my thing, and I'll be okay. You just don't want to deal with it. So stop bossing me around, you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yes, and that's that's the first reaction I had for quite a few months is like like I a kid my daughter once in a while, said, I think I'm gonna buy another vehicle and drive. She looks at me. I don't think that's a good idea, yeah. That sounds like a healthy fear, though.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

When accidents and other people are involved, tucking some common sense, some sense into to your loved one, that seems reasonable, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Because it's one thing if I get hurt, but if take for instance, I'd run into somebody and unfortunately run into a young family or older family, whatever age they would be, and there would be a fatality, you'd never forgive yourself. That would be beyond devastating. So that's the way I took the approach to driving. Like if I end up in the bottom of a ditch, then that's my indecision, but I don't want to harm somebody else. Right.

unknown 20:58

Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

And other people should have that same mindset. I would pray and hope that that would be the case for some. There was a in my hometown, there was an older gentleman who um he would not stop driving. And we had to watch out for him everywhere because he would blow through stoplights. Stop or we didn't have stoplights where I where I grew up, stop signs. And they put a pole. Um, it was there was a light pole that he knocked over because when he backs out of his driveway, he does, he never knows when to stop when to stop. They literally put a uh steel pole in the behind so that he would back up and he would back up into it. His car had this permanent thing, like a dent where he would back in all of the back of his car. He just wouldn't give it up. And I don't know that legally you can take it from someone. So I appreciate your mindset on that, Paul, because I I saw it differently when I was growing up.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Because there are a lot of people in this world that should not be driving and nothing to Against 'cause with their in their impairments or aging is aging. You know, we all our reflexes slow down. So that is one thing to take into consideration, especially with the traffic. It's one thing in a small town when you get in the a bigger city, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

Yep. Paul, let's talk about the the fun that we've had these past couple months. We uh are almost finished, you were almost finished writing a book. And when you said to me three months after we had met and we were kind of wrapping up the podcast, getting the podcast launched, your episode, and you started talking, I just said, Well, how what what? Because you also have become a wonderful partner of fortitude. Like you believe in our ministry, you have supported our ministry from just an emotional standpoint. You've made connections with people for stories, which has been beautiful. Adri was one of your um the Pizza Ranch episode. He's one of your best friends from high school, right? Or college.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

We were kind of partners in crime for a while. There's some of those we don't want to repeat, but that was the rite of passage, but we all turned out okay.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

You did. You did. So you introduced us to Adri, and that has been a huge blessing because for for many different reasons, but he also is on the episode and we share similar stories with alcoholism. And um just financially, you've helped support the our ministry, which has just been a wonderful blessing of ours. And so, in that, um, I remember sitting across the table from you and just saying, Well, how else, how else can we love on you, Paul? And what's a dream of yours? What do you what do you want to do? And you said, I want to write, I I have a dream about a book. And I said, Okay, done. And I left your house that day and I pulled together a team and we were meeting, what, a week later at your kitchen table.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

That's correct. And I think it was it was in late fall or early winter. So it's kind of the off season a little bit. But that's uh the thing about it, it's it's been a team effort.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

It's it's so called my book or it's been called Paul's book many times, but it's about I've always worked better in teams, and I think most people do. It's been a conglomeration of talents, and we're really looking forward to the. We were hoping to have the book out by Arbor Day.

unknown 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

And I remember how we came up with the title, the title of the book, If Our Trees Could Talk. And I was talking about a tree by the cathedral, and it was a horse table converted into a garage. So it was probably there in the early 1900s. So I said, if that tree could talk, because it had seen so many changes, then the other said, Well, that's the name for the book, because I think I was going to call it Exploring the Urban Forest or something crazy like that. Well, everybody loves that title.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

Yeah, and we kept we kept the urban forest.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

We it's as part of it.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

The if our trees could talk, the Sioux Falls Urban Forest. And it's the the whole mindset behind it is brilliant because we're taking, yeah, the the quadrants of all of the Sioux Falls. This used to be a prairie, prairie land. And so when you started telling me about how they would train, they would transport these trees into this area. And so you know as can you say the horticultural?

SPEAKER_00 25:24

What's the horticultural? Is that horticulturist?

SPEAKER_04 25:28

There you go. That's what that's what you are.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

I've been called a lot of things.

SPEAKER_04 25:35

So technically, your education is in that, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Well, that was school of hard knocks education. My education was in business and marketing, which served me well too. Many people have asked me if I had my master's in horticultures, and they say, Well, I never was educated in horticulture. I just kind of fell in love with it, went to some additional training or workshops, and just kind of over a period of close to 40 years, you learn a lot.

SPEAKER_04 26:06

Yeah. Well, you've and the beautiful part about that is we are all going to benefit from that in the book. Because you're taking all that hard knocks and all that education. I mean, just the way that the Arboretum, the Sioux Falls Mary Joe Wagner arboretum is going to um benefit, all the proceeds of this book are going to go back into something that you love. And the knowledge that you are putting out into the world, this is going to be a beautiful coffee table book. And one of the most incredible photographers, um Paul Schiller, is doing all the pictures. So it's going to be just beautiful and pristine. And these trees are being like it's just the whole thing is really beautiful. And I'm excited that I got to be a part of it. I'm wearing the shirt today. Um, so for those of you, once we get the video out for fortitude, you'll be able to see it on the re the recording. But it's um, it's just been a fun project. We went on it, we're gonna go on a book tour, and I am just I'm proud you're gonna be a published author.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

And getting back to Mike Cooper, there's it turned out to be just more than a tree book. There's a lot of historical of Sioux Falls progression. That's where Mike Cooper is a former city planner, now he's director at the Arboretum, does a wonderful job. He does. Yeah, very nice man. So we were kind of the one-two punch where we drove miles and miles together identifying trees because I I knew where these trees were, but I had never labeled the address. So we about had 15 accidents looking at trees and not watching our where he's driving. So I got to know Mike very well and got to know Mike uh Paul Schiller much better, too.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

And he reversed refers to his photographs as art, which they truly are. It's more than taking a picture. Oh, it is. Yeah, yeah. He's a great photographer. They they see no pun in him, they see see photographs through a different lens.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

They do. Yeah, Paul, it's his stuff. I just am continuously amazed. It's all over the hot the local hospitals and his his art. Um, so what has been your favorite part about the book? Because we we used Jeremy Brown, who is also on the podcast. He's another episode. Um, so Throne Publishing, we use them as our publisher. We've worked with Mike Cooper, who's the director of the Arboretum, and Paul and me and you, the five of us, were a big piece of the puzzle for the team. But ultimately, what's been your favorite part of doing this project?

SPEAKER_00 28:43

The team, the best part is the interaction with the team members, like yourself and Paul and Mike and Jeremy. I got a kick out of when I'm said that Jeremy was definitely the loudest episode.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

Yes, he was.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

And I listened to I sure was. It's like he was plugged into it. You do fire. Yes, he was. And I didn't know his background.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Isn't it fascinating?

SPEAKER_00 29:06

He lived kind of a colorful life, but he he's a colorful individual anyhow. I say that in a good force. He is doing great things in this world. But he bounces off walls.

SPEAKER_04 29:17

Yeah, that's why the two of us in one room, it's dangerous. We can't get hurt.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

That would that's it. We got some some wisdom, hopefully, with Mike and I and Paul, and then we get the the energy, the hands and feet, yeah, Jeremy and Heather.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Because Heather's never short on energy either.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

As Amos would probably know.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Today.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Yeah, this is true. I love the fact that you said that you said I like to write a write a book, and you just said, done.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

And then it happened.

SPEAKER_04 29:45

Yeah. That's amazing. I love that. I love making dreams come true for people. I think anything's possible.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

And like you said, it's a team effort, and that's been the most gratifying. It's it's a lot more than just trees in the book. It's a lot more about trees. It's about, it was that way in my career. It's about the connections you make and the people you get to love along the way.

SPEAKER_04 30:06

You know, Paul, one of the best, if I can add, my favorite piece about this has been talking to those, because when I left my full-time job and I was going to spend the summer with the girls last year, um, Jeremy approached me and said, Hey, would you, we needed to, we need to hire someone to do the fundraising for the for this book. Would you want to take it on as part of a project? And I was like, Well, I guess so. I mean, that's what I did for my job. So yeah. So you and I put together a list of people and I got to meet so many incredible people that love you and the relationships you have built over the last 40 years, 50, 60 years of people. Like people were crying on the phone with me. People were, I mean, just the outpour of love to raise the money we needed to get this book done. People were so giving and loving and shared stories about you that it just warmed my heart to know that your legacy is is so deep rooted. No pun intended there either.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

But just well, that's pretty good pun, though. Yeah, deep rooted.

SPEAKER_04 31:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Well, thank you for sharing that. That was that was my favorite part of being in business too. I always loved in the spring because you're kind of slow all winter long. We are a seasonal business. Then the first about three days, about Arbor Day till Mother's Day, that's the peak season in the garden center. You'd it was kind of like old friends week. You'd see these people that you hadn't seen since probably last Christmas when they got their Christmas tree. And I knew a lot of them by name and they knew me by name. So that was so much fun about being at the store on a Saturday afternoon. There's no place I would have rather been.

SPEAKER_04 31:56

And people would come just to see you. That's what's a lot of the lot of the people I talked to, they said, yeah, we would every time we went there, we just we really wanted to see Paul. I mean, yeah, we needed a tree or a bush or something, but we really, really wanted to go see Paul and just say hi to Paul. You you bring joy to people.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

Well, thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_04 32:14

Yeah, you're welcome. So when it comes to your current situation, Paul, let's go there for the bloom where you're planted. We have uh another mutual friend, Jay Wildstraff from he's a superintendent here in Sioux Falls. And when we were out to lunch, he said, when we were talking about this episode, he said, You guys need to title that bloom where you're planted. Because that is you. That is your mentality, that is what you do. And yet it has not been easy, right? Like we want to keep that mindset, but you've gone through some pretty a roller coaster. This is a roller coaster what you have gone through in the last in the last year or so.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

It has been. I feel it's it's moderated now. I'm finally at the place, but a a wise fellow, I'll refer to him as as Dave. I had a classmate that I hadn't seen in quite some time. His wife, uh, I think she was in her late 50s, she passed away from ovarian cancer. And we got together for coffee at my apartment. And then John said, of all the people that said all these flowery things or gave all these comments about my wife, the thing that helped me the most is Dave said, You just gotta walk through it. You just gotta get through it. And that's with the help of God and others. But whatever you do, you gotta go through that terribly, you gotta hit the low point in your life and you gotta walk through it. And hopefully with God and others around you, you can either choose to do it alone, which is much more challenging. Without faith and others in my life, it would have been a tough challenge. But I thought that was pretty pregnant and to the point. It's truth. And you had that simile, you know, the world looked pretty dark at times, but you just walked through it and you made it through it, and and Amos and the kids did as well, and that says a lot about you. But the thing I admire about both of you is your energy and youth, but you're real deliberate about your relationship, where you sometimes people forget that you get married, you have all this hoopla, and then you don't work deliberately work work at your relationship, and that's where I I know I fell short, where that's one thing that jumps jumps out about you too. So keep doing the thank you, Paul.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

I appreciate that, Paul. It's funny because it's sometimes it's a double-edged sword because when we work on the relationship, sometimes people don't want to work on the relationship because they're used to not working on the relationship.

SPEAKER_04 34:47

So that in itself I think he's talking about me, Paul. Oh, it's a well it's a thing.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Well, a lot of couples, if you're used to sweeping things under the rug and someone keeps bringing things up or or there's something new, that in itself is cause of thing. And we've we've been through that. It really, we really have. So we have to work through that. Uh last night we were uh Heather and I were at a uh spoke at a women's event, and one of the people in the audience came up afterwards and she was so adamant about about uh the impact that we're having. And Heather and I were talking afterwards, and and we said, uh, what we're just wondering what that thing was. And so we grabbed her towards the end and said, What was what was the thing? What what made you respond to the our talk the way you did? And she said, It's because there are so many people who are in a dark place and they don't realize that they're not alone when they have to go through when they're going through it, that they have God to help to walk through that, walk them through that, much like we did, much like you have, Paul, like you just said, that you're not alone, that there's God is there for you and He will respond to your prayers. And that's that's an easy thing to gloss over and go, yeah, well, there's this thick thing that we can't really tangibly see, right? But there's a real connection there and a real support system there through our creator.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

That's correct. And you know, there's a gentleman that's gonna be speaking in town in August. I got invited to. I remember when he was here, they prayed hands over me for my healing, and so I'm not sure where I'd want to be right now because I've gained so much understanding, is that, and the answers are not for me to know, not in this lifetime, anyhow. But I've I've been able to relate and impact probably more people this way than I would have ever in my if I would have stayed healthy and in my career, and I probably wouldn't have appreciated God's love and my family and others and friendships nearly as much as I do, like I brought up with this book that by far it's the relationships, because when you come down to it, it's your relationship with God and your family and and your friends that surround you that makes a difference in life.

SPEAKER_04 37:03

Sure does. And when you build that really awesome, solid foundation, after you go through something really low, you realize that the harder things you hit going forward aren't as hard because you have come through something and the people that come out of the woodwork and start to go, gosh, I didn't know. I didn't know it was that hard. I didn't realize what you were going through. They stay around. They stay around and you start building those relationships so that if something were to happen, which is kind of an inevitable, I mean, it's inevitable. We're it's you don't just go through one hard thing and then it's done. Like you've gone through multiples and multiples, even just within the two years we've known each other. Um and it has been up and down, but ultimately, I mean, like you look and you go, what's the word? It's consistent now, or like you feel like you're leveled out and you can look back on it now and go, but it's okay. Like it was hard. It was hard. I went through it, and now we're we're cruising. We're cruising.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Yes, I realize my limitations because I know after like three o'clock I turn into a pumpkin and can't move very well. And I know my limits. Whereas before I had to find those boundaries how far I could push it. Sometimes you just say I can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 38:27

Yeah, it's good boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

And I think you're aren't you doing a study on boundaries with a bunch of women, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

It's been fabulous. Yeah, and people just don't know. We push ourselves and we we put ourselves in situations where we're like, we we don't really have to do that. Like, there's there's so many great things to learn around healthy biblical boundaries. I learned it from this guy. This guy over here kept telling me to read a book, and I finally did, and then I read it three times because it's so good. Sorry, honey. I didn't mean to I didn't mean to keep pushing it off.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

So if all it's okay. If all else fails, listen to things.

SPEAKER_04 39:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

For real. Ooh. That wasn't directed at you. That was that's nice. That was Heather's.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

Well, Heather makes me a better person than she's she holds me accountable and she encourages me to think and paints a different picture. So we're we're both, I mean, we both it's mutually beneficial. It goes both ways.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

We're good at both slapping each other back onto the narrow path.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

Well, that's good.

SPEAKER_04 39:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

I am not who I am without my bride.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Like I tell my physical therapist and my occupational therapist, they always ask me questions, load questions about trees, and actually they're in a disagreement with their spouse about landscaping. So then a couple of times I said, Well, Paul said this, so I disagreed with what their spouse said. So I tell them I'm not a marriage counselor.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Yeah. So you guys agree on something and tell me how to execute. And that's all in fun, of course.

SPEAKER_04 40:00

Right. So, Paul, you also have been super active in making sure that you are going through physical physical therapy. You're making sure that you are in like you're you're attacking your disease. You're not taking it lying down. And that's another piece that I love because in conversations with people, they will say, My sister was diagnosed with something and she hasn't left her house. She doesn't want people to see her. She doesn't want people to notice that she's with a walker or notice that her body is giving out. Um, how what is your encouragement to those people who are getting that really tough diagnosis or just getting a divorce? I mean, just different things that you have recently walked through. What is what's your advice?

SPEAKER_00 40:55

Well, the one thing about my physical affliction is like I always my daughter and sons played a lot of athletics and I love going to basketball games. And if for a while I wouldn't go because I'd have to I couldn't make it with my walker, it was too far. I had to use a wheelchair. And a couple of people would ask me, I said, No, I'm I'm good. And I thought, because I felt it would be too humbling to wheel in a wheelchair in front of a thousand people or whatever that number would be. So finally it was almost took pressure off me to where I did go, and then people, and then it turned out that I never watched any of the game because people kept conversing with me coming over. Great to see you, Paul. How are you doing? Because they seen us all. They probably picture me worse off physically than I actually was. Physically, sometimes it's it can be a little deflating to them if you if you talk real solemn, say, How are you doing, Paul? It's almost like you They're act acting like you're gonna pass away the next day. And I know they mean well, but yeah, most people that are in a challenging situation don't want your sympathy, they just want your support. So and I don't know if I stated that I appreciate everybody that looks out for me, but don't I'm not going for any sympathy by being on this podcast. I'm not broadcasting for sympathy, I'm broadcasting to support other people. And encourage, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:40

You're an encourager, Paul. You always have been.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Why is why is that? Why do why do we default to the sympathy and not the support?

SPEAKER_04 42:47

I think if people get uncomfortable and don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

Yes, because like I said, most people are well-meaning, but and I can't say it's insulting, but or people that talk real loud to you and then think you can't hear. Think you can't hear.

SPEAKER_04 43:03

So that's a good, really good point.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

And I'm not being disrespectful at all, but always give that a second thought. If just try to have a normal conversation like we're having today.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Yeah. I think it's a I think it's a typical thing for Americans, especially if you're talking to someone who doesn't speak your language. We we think that sh being louder will make it easier to understand for some reason. That is true. Yeah. There was a um I was I saw a story of a Marine who was uh injured or had a disease, I forget exactly what it was, but he had put a a sign in the outside of the door. I'm gonna just paraphrase, I'm gonna I'm gonna not get it right. But paraphrasing, he said, Um, I don't want your sympathy. There's only improvement in this room, isn't it in the hospital room. Uh, I'm going to improve approximately 25% more towards my healing every week. And if you're Not in support of that, then stay out, then you're not welcome here. Something like that. It was a it was a clear statement of I am not here for your sympathy. This is gonna happen. This is where I'm gonna go. And if you're not on board with that, then we're not aligned.

SPEAKER_04 44:15

Yeah. Yes. So good. And it's it is such a true statement because um we've had multiple people on that have said the exact same thing Paul is saying. Like, I I'm still here. I'm still in here. Like everything, even though I may look different, walk different, talk different, I'm still here. So treat me like we had a respectful human in the sympathy piece is is almost like I don't really know what to do. So I'm just gonna I and and I've done it. I've done it to people, so I'm guilty of it too. But it's more of a I I have a a friend, I had a conversation with a mom who has a Down syndrome um son, and she's like, all he wants is high fives and like don't avoid him because he looks different. Don't because you're worried about what you should say or not say. Don't worry about that. Just walk up and just love him. There's just be who God created you to be and be kind and loving. Say hi, high fives, knucks, whatever it is. Like, you know, I'm not gonna break. Um, but I think just treating people with kindness is the way to go, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Yeah, always be kind. You never know what somebody's going through is the old scene.

SPEAKER_04 45:27

I I had multiple people come up to me after I spoke yesterday afternoon and said, what came out of your mouth is not what I expected. Granted, they saw the alcohol, like the lineup of it, but it's uh, I just didn't, I you just don't look like someone who ever has struggled with anything. And we're all we're all out there. We're all walking around and don't know. So we can we should never assume, right?

SPEAKER_01 45:49

In the parking lot, a nice um elderly lady, probably someone's grandma, said she'd been in recovery for 34 years.

unknown 45:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Like I said, go on with your bad self. There you go.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

High five. Nice job.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

What's the what's a compliment related to your disease that you can appreciate, Paul? So someone's helping you, they see you out and about. What's a compliment that really that really makes uh an impact on you? Besides your shirt.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

Well, when individuals sing it's a double-edged sword if they tell me I admire your attitude, where I'll graciously thank them. But when they overstate it and say, like, I'm almost heroic, and I can't believe what you're how you're handing this is what's your other choice? You can either mop around and sit in solitude and be miserable, you can engage what you have left because there's many things I have left. There's lots like there's a young man that was on your show that's far more physically disabled than myself. Now, I would have a hard time accepting that. And I won't say any names, but I think you know who I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_04 46:58

Yeah, but he doesn't. He does he he attacks life. He's doing yeah, he's doing amazing things.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

Yes, I would have a hard time accepting that, but he's accepting that. I I give him gratitude. But there's nothing heroic or godlike. I'm not some heroic godlike being that or a great one that lives amongst us. He just you make a choice and you like bloom where your plant and accept your fate and do the best you can with it with exercise and an attitude and try to make an impact on other people's lives in a per in a positive way.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

So if I were to say, Paul, I just appreciate your attitude towards life. That's a compliment.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

Yeah. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Paul, I appreciate your attitude towards life. Thank you. I really do.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

That is what I hear a lot when people will say that Paul, you're a friends with Paul DeYoung guy, oh man, he's just such a positive guy.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

Well, that's a that's one of the greatest compliments I could hear. And one thing. You know, I'm a supporter of this show and and many other things you you two are involved with, but you're my hands and feet. You know, I can help support you in any way I can. And I just feel the positive energy when you guys do fortitude show it. I was excited for today just to spend time with you two and try to have a good impact on somebody that may be listening.

SPEAKER_04 48:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Because I I know this show is really this podcast is really gaining traction. I hear more and more comments about it.

SPEAKER_04 48:40

Yeah, it's it's wonderful what God's doing with it. I mean, we're just we're just following what he's at. I mean, I just feel like it's a continuous. We're putting one foot in front of the other and letting God just do his thing. No.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

Yeah, no. It's nice to know, you know, we look at numbers and those are those are fun to see. What's most gratifying to us is hearing the impact. Because as you said, we just Heather is likes to ask people about their story, and if those stories can have an impact on someone else, and if even if it's one person per podcast, bring them out of the depths of darkness, even if it's for a little bit, then we've we've it's really gratifying to us.

SPEAKER_00 49:18

Yeah, because we look at such a numbers game like the mega churches and saw how much impact they're having. But you're right, it's one at a time. Whether you're in business, you can be a minister. Your five or six-day work week, you know, you can be a minister in many different ways.

SPEAKER_04 49:36

You sure can. Even when I get up on stage, my my mindset is it's just the one. God just speak through me. There's just one person in this sea of people that that needs to hear my message. Let it let it plant. Let that seed plant in their hearts so that they can get help and come out of the darkness. That's it takes a lot of pressure off of it too.

SPEAKER_00 50:03

Because you know, you're you're known as, and I would agree with this, you're a very polished speaker. You come off as where it doesn't you don't get stress at all. But I was surprised when you sit a while back, you get pretty nervous, and you really gotta have your all your bases covered and be up on your topics where you'd never guess that.

SPEAKER_04 50:25

But it takes a lot of work. Yeah, it's uh it's definitely a God-given gift. But when you share your story enough, there's healing that comes with that. And I think just sharing your story, who knows your story better than yourself, right?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

There's always this, I forget all that statement. It goes, there's skill and there's talent. And skill is from practicing your trade over and over and preparing for that, where talent is something you're naturally gifted with, where skill usually wins out because you keep working on that over and over.

SPEAKER_04 50:59

Yeah, polish, trying to polish it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

I think that might have been a Beatles scene. One of the Beatles said then.

SPEAKER_01 51:13

Come on, Amos, you can do it. You've got talent, and then you've got Irish or Scottish. Abandoned.

SPEAKER_04 51:23

He does a lot of different accents, and I just have one. Heathernees is what we call it. Don't really know what don't really know what's happening. I make up my own words too. So, Paul, what um what has been probably let's do let's do this. What has been in everything that we've gone through, what has been the hardest and what has been the I don't want to say the simplest, but has been one that you were like, uh, that wasn't so hard.

SPEAKER_00 51:57

I think moving into Touchmark, we'll put a plug in for them as I thought that would be just a draudville place to be. I'm still an independent living, so I can come and go as I please. And I I got my scooter, which I can get dangerous on sometimes, but gives me the liberty to go outside. So it's it's not much different than living in an apartment. And the one thing I did not want a caregiver to come in. You know, I wrestled with that a long time because it's not it's not a natural feeling to have a shower and have somebody get you dressed and so but now that's become not as humbling as it was before, not humiliating as it felt earlier. We we adjust that and that's made my life a lot easier.

SPEAKER_04 52:48

Yeah. Accept accepting the help is is a big step, but once you did, you realized it was a lot easier than touch mark too. I think when you were in that process of moving out of your home that you raised your children in into it didn't even matter what assisted living it was, just the process in general, right? Was what you really thought was going to be dreadful.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

Yeah, that was very emotional. But once I got there and got settled in, I thought, oh, this place isn't so bad. And the I had to give up desserts, though, because they never really had desserts, but there they put them in front of you every night. So I gained a few pounds now. I'm back in the healthy eating pass. I'm so the the food quality, quantity, there's nothing wrong with that. You just have to watch. I'm watching.

SPEAKER_04 53:36

Well, the beautiful part, because I come and visit you and I get to see the interactions with the other tenants and and the employees where you're currently living. And it is such a beautiful thing because I wouldn't expect any less, but you are there blessing all of them as well as them blessing you. And so by you um being not, I was gonna say taken, moving out of your home and in there, it's like it just can't even imagine it. But then once you were there, it's like you've you've kind of created your own little family around you at All Saints, touch mark.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

Yeah, I got a great support group. I and I'm I'm kind of like Amos, I believe. I kind of pick at people and set myself up for self-deprecating. So like the drivers and so the Yeah. And the gals at the front desk and the admin people. I like to kid them a little bit so I don't take life overly seriously.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

Yeah, yeah. You've I hear every time I come in there, you're here to see you're here to see Paul again. Like, yep. Gosh, we just love Paul. I know, isn't he fabulous?

SPEAKER_01 54:43

So people do just love you. They slip them a 20 every time before you come here. Oh, that's there, that's way what in hearts and minds. I once saw when I worked on F-16s, I once saw the fighter pilot um be rude to his aircraft mechanic. To his aircraft, the mechanic got out and was just rude. And I thought, that's kind of reductive. That's you want that person going the extra mile for this thing. To be your best friend to keep in the air, right?

SPEAKER_03 55:09

Yeah, whoops, bolt slipped.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

Do you see a lot of um anger and disrespect in in assisted living?

SPEAKER_00 55:18

No, really not. The staff is phenomenal. They have kind of saying most of them know every resident by name.

SPEAKER_04 55:28

Yeah. Hugs. I I've sat with m a multiple of them and they're hugging, waving, asking about yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

Aaron Ross Powell So the So the residents, uh how do they how are they Are they accepting help with humility and patience?

SPEAKER_00 55:45

Yes, they are. And what's amazing is there's multiple residents that are in their low 90s to mid 90s, and main mainly ladies, because they stayed chipper more long longer than men did physically. But when I take my walker there and I'm trying to get in a chair, there'll be a 90-plus-year-old lady helping pull the chair out and help me. Do I need to push you in? And I'm like thinking, what's wrong with this picture? I got a 95-year-old lady. Nice. And she's like, Do you need any help cutting your food? And I'm like, sure.

SPEAKER_04 56:22

Yeah, just go ahead. Because it probably blessed, it's blessing her. They they probably miss servant.

SPEAKER_00 56:33

So just go about life in a humble way and your day just happens. It's gonna be a gorgeous afternoon, so probably go out on a spin to McKinnon Park. But I think on days I get, and don't get me wrong, there's days where I get down in the dumps. But you just gotta snap out of it because there's blessings all around us.

SPEAKER_01 56:54

Yeah, that's valuable to know that you're not perfect and you are going through art things, and you're not chipper and positive all the time.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

No, it's not like nights are the most from like six o'clock on, and if the weekends is there's not as much activity, now that I'm able to go outside, that's that's kind of nice. The weather. I just got to keep my cart charged up because I got an interesting story. There's a gentleman that we used to work together 40 years ago, and I I first started at Landscape Garden Center, and then he was going to law school and he helped me on weekends. And his name is Thad Rogers, wonderful man. And I got to the bottom of the hill and I I didn't have enough charge to get back up the hill at all scenes. Some struggling along, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, it's like a Wednesday afternoon. Him and his wife were they're strong Catholics, so they are going to Wednesday Mass or whatever. All of a sudden, here comes Thad up the hill. Let me push you. Get on your seat, and he pushed me up the hill. I said, I felt like you were an angel dropped from heaven.

SPEAKER_04 57:58

For someone that you knew, too.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

And I hadn't seen him in months, and all of a sudden, there he dropped. His wife said, There's Paul. And he said, I'll go help him. So just little things like that. That's you know, I wonder if that's that fade or is that a God-giving gift?

SPEAKER_01 58:13

That's and I wonder if that's just due to the all the wonderful positive things, the helpful things that you've done for others. It's just being paid back to you through the Lord.

SPEAKER_04 58:23

I believe it. I really believe it.

SPEAKER_00 58:25

Well, we'll go with that.

SPEAKER_04 58:27

Yeah. I think you have angels all around you. I really, I really do think that. Earthly, like walking around. God, God's looking out for you, Paul.

SPEAKER_00 58:37

Well, thank you. I think God looks out for all of us.

SPEAKER_04 58:42

Yes, he does. You're just a you're just extraordinarily looked after. Well, Paul, this has been so fun. Um is there any last thing that like how how can the audience, because you know you're gonna have another thousand people plus listen to this one and just to hear how you're doing and people are getting the update on that Paul's rocking it in a scooter, if you want to see him.

SPEAKER_00 59:09

Uh it's a fancy metallic red, too, some kind of style. Yeah, you are. And offsets my gray hair.

SPEAKER_04 59:18

It's the whole uh I had a metallic cherry red motorcycle, so I get it. That's a good color on you, Paul. Was it a Harley or Yamaha Warrior 1700cc? It was a fast one. But you have a lot of people who love you a lot who are gonna say, What can I do to serve Paul? What can I do to love on Paul? And I know one answer is to come by, set up a time to pick you up and take you for a drive, because you love going for a drive and looking at trees and yes, looking at trees, seeing all the cities growing.

SPEAKER_00 59:52

I used to be real up on that, but now it's amazing when you don't get in an area for even a month or several weeks, the changes, the construction. Like you go out by Veterans Parkway, like Southeast Sioux Falls, Western Sioux. The city's just exploding.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:07

Yeah, it's blowing up.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:08

And then it kind of makes me a little melancholy because the opportunities for entrepreneurs in this city are they've always been there, but somebody willing to work, there's so much opportunity here, an opportunity to affect others with your ministry.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:24

And this city's not going to quit growing. So how we can affect and people in a positive way, it only makes your ministry stronger, too. Agree.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:34

Do you like to attend events? You said sporting events, but like do you like to go to gallas and like celebrations and different things if people were to give you a call and come pick you up for that kind of stuff?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

Yeah, and I'll tell you if I feel energetic enough to go and don't take it personally if I don't go.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:52

One thing when I I have quite a few people call me up for landscape consultations.

unknown 1:01:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

They ask me how much it is, and it costs you a strawberry shake.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:04

So even just to come pick you up and have you walk around and look at their yard and what they might need, and that's well, when can I pick you up? I mean, we're just gonna start. You're gonna be getting tons. All right. Um, and as far as you uh uh you you want me to ask about chiropractic?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

Yeah, you've learned some things recently about Parkinson's and chiropractic health. And I just want to see if you want to share anything else you've learned that that our audience could could take away.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:37

I'm just fresh into that because obviously I'm on a lot of meds, and I I've cut back on my pain meds because those are counter counterproductive in other ways. Some we're looking for all other alternative medicine. And I'll say his name, Dr. Tyler Parham. I went to him, I was really impressed with him, his presence, some of the ideas he had, so figure why not try that.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:03

Good for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

And I know you have good things to say with him, and I trust your judgment.

unknown 1:02:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:08

In the medical world, the medical world, we think everything's a pill away from making everything better. But that some of this like acupuncture and so goes back thousands of years, and sometimes that's the most effective things you can have.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:25

So sometimes throwing just another pill against it is not the way to go.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:29

Counter counterproductive. Functional medicine is amazing, getting to the root.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

Yeah, I would I would call him a functional neuro, uh neurochiropter in a way. And um it's it is amazing. Once you get into understanding how the body works, how our nutrition system works, how our food system works, then you can start stripping away some of the layers and getting down to the root cause of problems. And uh so uh this is just a plug for just doing the research and asking around besides the traditional medical system, because there's a lot of things that we don't know that we don't know about. And I think you're starting you're starting to dip your toe into that that side of things and learn more about what's available for for treatment and quality of life for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:15

Another there's this young lady, her name is she works at the bank that I go to in Dear Soul. She stops and has coffee with me several times. We went for lunch a while back, and she sent me, and I've heard a couple other occasions that I think Ozzy Osborne, he's got Parkinson's disease too. And he's been taking stem cell injections, and I've read that a couple other times, and he's had amazing results. But that's I guess it is I haven't read the whole article, but there's risk to it as well. But I've always been a risk taker. As I find out, I'm gonna call my doctor at Mayo Clinic and see what he thinks. Yeah. Because obviously we know everything you read on the internet isn't true. Or can be. Yeah. But now that they put a name to it, because there's bound to be breakthroughs in modern medicine because Parkinson's has been a slow process. Kind of like fighting cancer. There's so many forms of it, there's so many genes, genetics, mutations. I don't know if I'll ever be totally solved, but they made big strides. And unfortunately for Michael J. Fox, he had Parkinson's, but fortunately for the Parkinson's community, billions of dollars worth of money have been raised by research. So he's he's been the face of the disease.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:39

It's uh uh our mayor once said if you can't measure it, you can't manage it. And I think one of the most important parts of this, of the functional medicine side, is getting the data about your blood health and your gut health. And you probably just haven't got there. I'm assuming you'll probably go there eventually. But getting the getting the data is not something I see very common in the medical world. There's lab tests you get. What I'm seeing in the chiropractic side, and especially in the functional chiropractic side, is this whole new set of data that you can use then to modify your your daily life. And then you can really make real powerful, impactful decisions that are data driven and not, you know, guesses. Like you said, your pain meds have side effects. Well, let's figure out you know, there's another way of looking at that and going, well, where is the pain coming from? Let's not just put a band in on it, let's figure out where it's coming from and see if we can see if we can solve it from that side.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:36

Yes, and I'm not putting one down over the other, but I think a combination of the two. And it's a matter of finding facts and research on that. So I'm gonna delve into that a little deeper based on feedback from people like yourself, Amos. And just say what because I'm not saying it's in desperation, but why not? We live in modern medicine, so why not get the best care possible? Or keep an open mind about things. And if it doesn't work, well, I guess we tried that.

unknown 1:06:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:11

The thing that I have stepped into, and I've never had a mindset like this, but I'm grateful for really wise and amazing people around me and Amos also tapping into this. But like I've always I've always gone to chiropractic care just due to my spinal injury in high school. But um why not be preventative? So like you have been diagnosed, so you're moving into this stage of all the different things. I feel like there's so many people that really don't take care of themselves and don't get the data of things they might need while they're healthy. They feel healthy and they don't have a hurt. So, like I am going to Lauren Scatton, who is one of my dearest friends, and I'm getting a blood blood panel. I feel fabulous, but there might be something brewing that I don't know. And I why not be preventative in that and know exactly what my body may be lacking or have too much of so that I can regulate it and keep it on the straight and narrow to have a long, long, beautiful life. And so I see it on, I see it on a um preventative side. We don't do that enough to go to a doctor to get the blood, to get the or to give your blood to get the data of all the things. Um, it could save your life. Even if you feel good, go get the data.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:31

I would agree. Like I went to Planet Heart, it cost you, I forget that's it been several years ago, like for potential of heart attack. Fortunately, I I came, I passed with flying colors, but there's gentlemen or ladies that pass away from a sudden heart attack. If they just have that task done, it could have save your life.

unknown 1:07:55

Gosh.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:55

Well, Paul, thank you for attacking um everything you have going on, because I really want to keep you around for a long time. It's been a such an honor for Amos and I to be dear friends with you, your support and your love, and um just being able to serve to to serve you and you serve us. And it's like just it's a wonderful thing that God has blessed us with here in a great friendship.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:21

Well, you guys got a promising future. There's great things ahead of you, and I don't say that any to blow up your ego because I know you'll keep it in check. But like I said, you're my hands and feet.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:33

If we're the hands, the feet of the Lord, and which is what we pray for every day, great things are bound to happen. He's a he's a great guy. We serve a wonderful God. Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:43

And I just want to say to the medical world, I'm not putting any part of medicine down, but there's there's alternatives and choices with any profession.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:52

Absolutely. Yeah. Good intent. You always have good intent to Paul with everything that you say. Well, I I'm happy with all the wonderful things that we were able to update the audience with. I think that they will have a really good sense of where you're at today. Reach out to Paul, give Paul a call, take Paul for a drive, and periodically you like ice cream and chocolate syrup.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:17

Yeah, but I've kind of given that up too. But I have to have some. I figure if I keep doing too many things right, I might have to just as well become a full-time minister.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:27

I think Paul's learning the impact of sugar on our lives and our health, too. Did you get that speech? Cause and effect. Yeah, cause huge sugar is a big one. Big one.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:36

Okay, okay. No ice cream, no children. But it's strawberry shakes, they that's fruit.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:41

So a little B B and Graw strawberry shake on the on the drive.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:47

Culver's is pretty good too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:49

Well, and they're not a sponsor of ours unless they want one to.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:53

Welcome to season two, everyone.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:54

Welcome to season two. We are currently in a fundraising state. I just want to also say that um to further our ministry. So if you are a listener and you feel, I don't just feel called to support us in any way, um, reach out. We'd love to know more stories that we could possibly touch base on if you have ideas of something that we have not yet. Um, there's a big event coming up through Fortitude called I Am Fortified. And that is gonna be on September 7th. A lot of information is gonna be coming out about that. Um, and that is for young girls and guardians and moms and grandmas and aunts. Um, it's gonna be in Sioux Falls, and um, tickets go on sale on Monday. What is the date today? So it'll be May 13th. This will be out already. So tickets are on sale, right? Because that's after the fact. Um, but Fortitude has a lot of great things that we're we're doing, not just the podcast, but our we're in full-blown ministry work. If you need a speaker, call me. If call us, call Amos and I. We just want to spread God's glory and his goodness everywhere we go. So thank you, Paul.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:02

And I looked over the agenda for that fortifying that if you've got daughters or granddaughters or young ladies are involved in your life, the agenda looks very powerful. It's on finance and reproductive.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:20

Many things fathers shouldn't couldn't would have a hard time talking to their daughter. Some of the subjects that can be a little bit of a we're talking about social media.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:29

We're gonna talk about the dangers and the grooming and everything that goes on behind social media. Identity in Christ, everything's gonna be biblically based, biblical truth is gonna be spoken to these girls like no other. It's gonna be a fabulous idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:41

All the things you can't get from TikTok or Netflix or YouTube that you won't won't show up in your feeds, but things you need to know.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:49

Really important to know.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:50

Invest in just one day to have your girls poured into my we are gonna pour in.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:56

It's gonna be you two have an interesting challenge you had with three young daughters. Thanks for the reminder, Paul. Many prayers, please. Pray for me. I just said you're gonna have an interesting journey. Oh, for sure. Some challenge, mostly rewarding. Yeah, challenge accepted.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:12

Our yeah, as far as I'm concerned, our family tree branches here. Some of the generational things stop here. And uh we're really looking forward to seeing how all four of our kids blossom and what they what how they raise their families and bring generational change of their own too.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:30

Yeah, the fruits, the fruits of the hard work are gonna be fabulous.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:36

Guys, and I had a wise uncle tell me once, that's when I was recovering from necrotizing fast. She always said, No, go home, Paul, and take care of your kids, because when your kids are under your roof, that's the best years of your life. That is true.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:50

It is.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:51

They're all sleeping in their beds under the same rough as you are, and that's the most exciting time of your life.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:57

Pay attention, parents.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:58

I know there's times you parent want to tear your hair out.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:02

Even in those moments, I used I used to tear my hair out, and now I look at it as a um just a beautiful way to help them through it. Even when it's hard and it's hard on both of us, I just it's it's a whole different mindset of how to approach it. And I'm grateful. Um I'm grateful even for those really tough moments, even when I'm ready to make us better people.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:26

They make us better people more tolerant.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:29

Yes, yes. Well, Paul, this is great. We love you so much. Um I will make sure that I'm I'm sure I'm I will hear people, people will be calling us asking how to get in touch with you. So um, we'll get your email in some different ways in the notes so people can shoot you some love notes. How does that sound?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

Sounds great. I'll take any reassuring note I can have because I don't need to be praised like praise, but anything of reassurance or even if you any disagreement of anything I might have said, shoot me the good, the bad, the ugly.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:06

Oh, you just asked for it. All right. Well, thank you for being here. We um are so grateful that all of you tuned in to listen to Paul's story. And um thank you for continuing to be a part of Fortitudes Family.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:19

Thanks for being here, Paul. Thank you so much for listening. We want to change lives through this podcast. And if you want to support this podcast or our guests, please see the links below for our Patreon and giving links.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:32

And like and subscribe and also share our podcast as much as possible. Thank you.