SPEAKER_05 0:00

Here comes a sun do. Here comes a sunda say it's all right.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Hello, Fortitude audience. Thank you so much for joining us today. My name is Heather Kittleson, and I am your host, and I am sitting next to my fabulous husband, Amos, who is my co-host. Hello. And today in our studio, we have Ruth and Raleigh. Hello, you guys. Hi.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Hi, I'm good. Straight from Iowa, y'all are. We uh we have the honor and privilege to um go to church with these two folks, fine folks sitting next to us today. And um, when COVID happened in 2020, y'all went through some really ridiculous things, some very scary things. And so um being a part of that and watching what was going on, um, it was really touch and go. And we haven't had um a conversation about COVID yet. You guys are the first full COVID story. We had a gentleman in here earlier who was in the hospital um during COVID and had some other things, but this is the full, a full story of some things that have happened. And so thank you for joining us and just being willing to share this because it is a it is a it's a tough story today.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Yeah. And we haven't really, we really haven't talked about it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

No. Because we can't remember it. Yeah, you can't remember it. Raleigh sure does. So tell tell us a little bit, tell our audience who you are and where you're from and what you do, and just give us a little of who you are today.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Um, we're Ruth and Raleigh Vanderlee. We live in Rock Rapids, Iowa. And we've been married for almost 42 years. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Two kids, six grandkids, and we're living the dream.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Because we're living.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Yeah, because we're living.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's been a good we've lived in Rock Rapids. I was born in Rock Rapids, I've lived in Rock Rapids, we have cemetery plots in Rock Rapids, so we are just covered.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Yeah, you guys used to have a business in Rock Rapids.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

We did. I had uh I worked with my dad for 47 years, and then we sold that business five years ago, and I my intent was to retire. And Ruth has worked at a company for 30 years, 31 years.

SPEAKER_04 2:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

And they had a guy that left after 33 years, and so I started working there for five years. When I started, the guy gave me like three months and I showed him five years.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Wow. What kind of business did you sell, Raleigh?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Um, I had a gym dealership.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Sold cars.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Yeah. What did you ever what was your favorite? What was your favorite car that you ever had or drove or loved to have on your lot?

SPEAKER_03 2:57

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

That's a tough one.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Was it the one that's the highest margins that didn't come back?

SPEAKER_00 3:04

I don't, you know, I don't know if I ever really had a favorite. I remember the first car that was over $10,000. And I thought, you know what, we're never gonna sell a car again. Never. We'll never sell cars. $10,000 is way too much. Do you remember what what model it was? Yeah, it was a Corvette.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

For $10,000.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

I remember the guy that bought it. I'm thinking, wow, this guy has got a lot of money. It was $10,000. And then um, when I left the business, one of the last vehicles I sold was a pickup, a one-ton crew cab dually diesel. And I think it was like $68,000.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Holy moly.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Yeah, it's quite a bit.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

We need to get Amos a new car. Our whole life has been kind of what we're driving. This happened. This is the car we took on our honeymoon. This is the car when Emily was born. This is the car when Tom was bad. I know that.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

That was our life. Remember that? Remember that had that Ruth? No. And it's interesting, but as I look back now, my dad, mom, my dad never wanted to drive new cars, and they always drove an old pickup. He had junky pickups. He liked to drive junky pickups. So as we've gotten older, we had a nice pickup, sold the pickup. Now we're kind of getting a little bit of a junky truck, so it's like history repeating itself.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

I learned how to drive with an 87 Chevy stick. So I had the three, the three gear with the bucket seat. Amazing. My oldest brother is actually re um bringing it back to life right now because it's super old. Pulled out the engine and yeah. No thanks. I had a lot of fun memories in that truck though. So um, Raleigh, you I I want to go directly into 2020 in November. And um, I remember getting some text threads coming um in mass in masses of people. Just pray for pray for Ruth, pray for Ruth. It's really touch and go. Um and when COVID happened and everything just went haywire. It was so there were a lot of people really close to us. And I didn't know anyone directly, like family, but you you guys got hit a couple in a couple different ways. So can you can you walk us through that, Raleigh?

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Sure, I can rem uh some of those dates are burned in your mind. Um I was diagnosed with COVID on November 16th of 2020, November, as the same day as my dad. And Ruth, we tested Ruth, she didn't nothing.

SPEAKER_05 5:30

Nothing.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

On that day, then they flew my dad from Rock Rapids to Sioux Falls. And Ruth was still she went to the house to take my dad to get my dad out of the house, but I couldn't go because I was sick. I didn't know how the bad this COVID thing was. Um my dad progressed through that week on on November 23. My dad died of COVID. His lungs actually just gave out and and he died.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Was he in pretty good health?

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Uh yeah, my dad was in his 80s, but he was healthy. He wasn't a sickly, didn't smoke, wasn't a he was maybe heavy, overweight, but not not in a bad way.

SPEAKER_05 6:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Um and so that was a crazy thing. On the 22nd, that Sunday night, my dad had DNR things and all that, you know, do not resuscitate, nothing heroic and all that. And somewhere that got lost. But I couldn't go to the hospital and tell him that because I had COVID and it was a COVID place. So that Sunday night, I had to call in. My brother in his job, he said that's something I can't do. My sister wouldn't do it, so I had to call and say, My dad doesn't want this, you have to stop. Let him die. So you carry that like to call for my dad to die. Anyway, on that, so he um didn't survive. And that was three days before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. No, that's not right. Because it was his funeral wasn't until the 30th.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

You know, you are right, Ruth. Jeez.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah, okay. Hey, you do remember. Ruth, you remember.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

So his that was a Monday and Thursday was Thanksgiving. So Ruth in that time caught or got COVID.

SPEAKER_04 7:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

And just fell apart. She just you could just watch her fail. She couldn't, she didn't have the strength to get out of her chair, she couldn't do anything, she couldn't eat. I thought, you have to eat something. You have to eat something, Ruth. So I brought her mashed potatoes. You try to eat these.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Couldn't even do that.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

So when we were talking about this earlier, Raleigh, you said in the house it was almost like Ruth was just staring off into space. She wasn't communicating, she wasn't able to formulate sentences.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

She couldn't couldn't keep couldn't stay awake, and it was just Well, apparently we FaceTimed or Zoomed or something with his dad dying. Yeah. And I watched it, but I don't remember it. No. I made some comments on the meeting that I probably shouldn't go for.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

But you just didn't remember. Oops.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Okay, so yeah, so he died, and we got I got I got the privilege of watching my dad die on FaceTime.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

That is so hard.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Because I had COVID, I couldn't go. But my brother, my sister, and my son didn't have COVID, so they could go be with him.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

So you guys watched it on FaceTime. And did you know at this time that Ruth had it, like you had tested her already, and you've noted from her behavior she she had COVID?

SPEAKER_00 8:18

There was things that you know, she had a fever and chills and all the symptoms, but we thought maybe I had pneumonia because I've had pneumonia in the past.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

And so it kept progressing till Thursday was on, which was Thanksgiving Day. I finally said, We're going to the hospital now. So we like I literally carried her to the car.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Okay. And then And you guys went to the local Rock Rapids.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

We went to the local hospital hospital. Because that's just what you do. You go to the hospital, right? So we went and I had to leave because I couldn't be with her. She had COVID. But there were some unbelievably good saintly people that were working there. So that was that was a relief. I didn't want to, it was scary because I didn't want to leave her alone. Like I just saw my dad die virtually alone. He spent a week by himself alone. I didn't want Ruth to be alone.

SPEAKER_05 9:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

So it was good. There was a person that works at the hospital, her name was Wanda, and she was like a saint.

SPEAKER_05 9:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

It's like, God. If I didn't have Wanda there, that would have been just like like wicked.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Well, because you she was able to communicate with you. And I think a lot of people that went through this had said the communication piece was the hardest because you just didn't know. Everything happened so fast and they were gone, and then you couldn't go see them and couldn't get through to ask questions because everybody was just so overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

I could call once a day at 10 in the morning and I'd get a nurse, I'd say, How's Ruth? Okay. And that was about it. Because they didn't really know either how bad she was and how how fast she was failing. And then she kind of rebounded rebound and things were going good. And then it didn't go so good.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

So walk me through that because it was very quick. It was very quick. You were trying to find a bed and you were there was a bed open in Marshall, Minnesota area.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yep. And so it was like the Monday before, this Tuesday, was my dad's funeral. She didn't go to that. She had no idea. And then Tuesday, the doctor called and said she's doing pretty well. I think if she can maintain, she'll stay in Rock Rapids and we'll be okay. Tuesday evening, like at seven o'clock, the hospital called and said things are going bad. We don't know what's going on, but she's failing. At 10 o'clock, um, one of the doctors called and said, We don't you better come up here.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Like, now?

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Now. So I uh I go up there and I walk in. I said, So what do I do? And she said, the the the PA said, just go in a room because nothing else is working. We don't know what to do. So all Tuesday, from Tuesday evening until Wednesday morning, I'm sitting in the room with her and she's pulling on her bipap. I can't breathe, I can't breathe. I said, Ruth, you have to wear this. You're gonna die. And uh they said, Well, we found a room. We're gonna fly her to Marshall, Minnesota. I said, No, no, we're not going to Marshall, we're going to Sioux Falls, we're going to go to Avera. There's no room in Avera. I said, Well, that's where we're going. Make a room. The night went on, and she she was going down, down, and the morning came, and they came and said, She's got to go somewhere. There's a space. I think we can get a space in Omaha. I said, No, not doing that. A little while later, Ruth's brother is a nurse in Rapid City. He said, There's a room here. You can fly her to Rapid City. I said, not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_05 11:28

Yeah, it's a long way.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

And it was she was failing. The doctors didn't know what to do. My brother works at Avera. And he called and said, There's a room at another hospital. He said, take it. It's the only one we're gonna get, just take it. I said, Jerry, we're not. We're going to Avera. He said there is no room.

unknown 11:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

But God made a room.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Why were you so why were you turning down these other offers?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

And so Um Because my brother is he works at Avera Hospital. He's a chaplain at Avera. So I thought Jerry can take care of Ruth because she won't be alone. Jerry will be there.

unknown 12:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

He's our mole.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

He's our inside track. So you needed you you wanted someone on the inside. It was that or it was that or nothing.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

I wanted to know that she was gonna have not be alone.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Because I I and and so another doctor from Rock Rapids came in and he said, I don't care. I don't care. Wherever there's a room, she's going. She we're out of time and we're out of choices. She's going wherever. And as he pulled the door to leave, a nurse came in and said, A helicopter from Avera is on its way. How about that? Yeah, just like I mean, that was a total miracle.

SPEAKER_05 12:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

There was a room that became available, which happened to be the same room that my dad was in. Wow. So it was Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

2110 is the room number.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

2110.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

And and and this whole time Ruth had no idea this was going on.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

None of it. So Raleigh, this is where it gets real because she gets in the helicopter.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

No, I couldn't go. They wouldn't let me go.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

You get there and without saying a doc a doctor's name, because we we don't want to do that. But you the helicopter lands.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Aaron Ross Powell So the helicopter lands and these the people come out of the helicopter and say, we aren't going to take her until she has a vent in. She didn't have a vent before this. So the helicopter, the personnel, whatever, they they vented her.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

Okay. In Rock Rapids.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

In Rock Rapids, before they would fly with her.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

So they fly, they go off to Sioux Falls, which is a godsend. That's only a 12-minute flight from Rock Rapids. They land and they're going in, and this other doctor recognized that she had more than something was wrong. And he said, We have to do this now. And he did it.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

Had he not reacted and seen what had to happen, again, she would not have survived.

unknown 13:53

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Do you know what the thing was?

SPEAKER_00 13:55

It was her lungs had collapsed. She had no, she couldn't breathe at all.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Put in chest tubes.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

He said, We need a chest tube now.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Yeah. And so And so he did it. And um when we were talking, it's it's it's like one of those earthly angels, right? Oh, absolutely. Any other doctor may have not taken the chance and just did it because a lot of times you have to get permissions for things or whatever, but he like saved your life. Exactly. He took executive decision to save your life in that moment. And there's a lot of earthly angels walking around. So thank you to that doctor.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Oh, for sure. And but it wasn't just that. It was like if we'd have gone to Omaha or Rapids at your marshall, the flight would have been too long.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

Yeah, it would have.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

She'd have not survived. And um because I was it wasn't me being persistent about Avera, it was God jacking on me, saying, Nope, Avera. That's this is where we're going.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

And that's that's what I was wondering. Did you f you felt like that was the most important thing? Just hold out for that. That's that's what has to happen.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

And that takes courage. The nurses and stuff got kind of frumpy. Like this is your wife's health, you've got to do something.

SPEAKER_03 15:01

That's what I mean. It takes a lot of courage.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

We're going to Avera. My brother said, take the room, go.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But there's there's I just feel like there's something more. I'm not sure what sh what sure the quite the right question is. Because that does take so much courage. And in those moments, that's scary. But it was And everyone's telling you the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

But I had not a shadow of a doubt. We there was no choice. We had to go to Avera. End of story. That's where we're going.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

And to advocate for that. Like you knew that I think that's what you're trying to pull out. You knew your spirit man was pulling on you and saying, we are going to Avera and I'm going to advocate for this because I just know in my heart it's right.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Trevor Burrus And I think I think so. I to back up some, I believe that God is a God of order. Things happen for a purpose and a time sequentially. You know, God didn't create COVID, it's this chaos where nobody knew what to do, nobody knew how to handle it, nobody knew how to treat it. This was the world's way of taking control and just creating chaosh, but God is still saying, go to a vera.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Go to vera.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

So it's it was courage and trust.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

And Raleigh's kind of known for throwing out the fleece.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

You know the story. He's done that several times in all life.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

But it was just a it there was no fleece time for fleece throwing. It was we're just going to Avera. Trevor Burrus, What does that mean, fleece fleece throwing? Gideon. The story of Gideon? Where he throws the fleece onto the threshing floor. If this is supposed to happen, the fleece will be wet, the ground will be dry. And that's what God does. The next day says, Oh, okay, God, that was good. But now let's throw out the fleece again. The fleece will be dry and the ground will be wet. And it does.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

So you're like Gideon?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Like, show me God. Okay, God. I yeah, I believe this will happen, but show me.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Yeah. And that's that's that's a whole nother level of faith.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Well, yeah, but when you're jammed in a spot, like your wife or death is gonna die.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Yeah, that's uh you guys we've only been together 10 years, and I like like you ain't going nowhere. And you guys have we're looking at like how many 38 years. But 38 at that time. Like that's a long time with your best friend. Your guys' story is really cute about how you met. So if we have time at the end, I wanna I wanna go back to that. But so you're in Sioux Falls, you're at Avera, and they get you in there. And how long did you stay? How long were you actually in Avera before? Because you're with us today, which is a beautiful thing, which means I think our total hospital time was 22 days. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Only two on the vent, I think, because you know they did the vent thing, and I just I got sick really fast, and I think I got better. If you want to say fast, it's not real fast, but I came out of it pretty fast.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

It was very fast.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

So when she was flown in and this doctor did his procedure, like he said, my brother, of course, my mole, gets to see her in the bed and he go and he said, Boy, she's really sick. And the nurse said, No, it will take a miracle for her to get better. And it was a miracle. When it was time for her vent to come out, the doc the the the nurse, I talked to the nurse that morning, and he said, We're gonna start slowly weaning her off the vent. This will take two or three days. This is like at 10 o'clock. That's my time to call was 10. By two o'clock, my brother called and said, Well, she's off the vent. I was like, What?

unknown 18:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Oh. When did you finally start to oh were your eyes open and you started to be able to come to? Like, what was that scary, Ruth, when you were in the hospital?

SPEAKER_02 18:37

I remember them taking me from I see you to my room. This is like, you know, you're laying on the bed and all you can see is the ceiling lights and tiles. It seemed like we went for miles. But I I kind of, you know, I remember that a little bit. And I remembered the room. I mean, all you could do is stare at the wall for the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Did you know when you woke up while you were there?

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Like were you confused, scared? You know, I wasn't scared. I was I was probably more confused. It's like good grief. What what are all these wires and tubes and bells and whistles? And um, yeah, it just created a little anxiety for me.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

And you were able to go see her, Raleigh? Were was anyone able to see you with that time while you were in there?

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Not until she got into a regular room and her vent was off and she was able to breathe on her own.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Once I didn't test for pop or test positive for COVID anymore, then it so I think And we didn't test.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

I couldn't if I was positive.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

You couldn't go in. I think it was the last week that they could come in. I was there alone for a couple weeks.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

But you had to um one person a day was allowed in. So if I went in that day, that was it. Nobody else could our kids couldn't go in. So the next day, if our daughter went in, uh only she could go in that whole day.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

So Raleigh, talk talk through the care. So when not care for you and for your family, not necessarily for for Ruth at the time, but when tragedy happens and people don't know what to do or how to help or any of that, you went through a roller coaster of way too much like overload. Overload. And so walk talk talk that through with us a little bit of what you went through.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

So it was, I mean, people are are well intentioned. They meet they meant well, but you're getting all these casseroles, it's like, what do I do with another casserole?

SPEAKER_05 20:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

I'm trying to eat it because you know that's the Dutch thing to do. Don't want to waste it. And people meant well, but I had just gotten through COVID and I was exhausted, tired. And yet people are, and then they would come and they'd want to say, Well, how's she doing? So you have to go through illness, like tell the story again.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

And there were some times when people would come and I I would just feel like, please just just leave me alone. Yeah. I just I just need to hit me alone with my thoughts. And they mean well, they really meant well. I don't mean that to bash them, but sometimes the best thing you can do when you see people is just say, you know, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah. That is uh just even in our our Bible study, we were talking through what it's you know, when people are mourning or people are going through really tough stuff. What is what is the best way to approach that?

SPEAKER_00 21:27

And I think one thing would have been good, like and when Ruth came home, that was great. But maybe do something six weeks later.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

When the newness is wore off, like to walk by. What can I do for you?

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Circle back around. Um the giving giving time. I think that is a really that's a piece I caught when we were talking from you. Is you just needed some time of just some Raleigh time to just process because you were advocating for your bride. You went, like you said, went through. COVID. You just lost your dad. You I mean you had a lot going on in that moment.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Yeah, we couldn't have a funeral for my dad. We had to just go to the cemetery and have a burial. That's all we could do.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Did you did you press in a lot with God? Did you find that you were ever angry with God? Or how did you No, I wasn't angry.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

And I I think in my heart, I knew that she was going to live. I just I just knew. When my dad went to the hospital, he flew away. I thought, oh, my dad's not going to survive. But I there's something also inside that I just felt she was going to live. She wasn't going to and I don't I don't know what brought that on.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

Like I was We've talked to our kids about it just recently, and neither of them thought I was going to live. Talked about their reactions and you know how they handled it and their own people.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

I was probably angry. I was probably angry. They were more just sad.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yeah. How were how if they if they if you don't mind, how did they explain what they went through?

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Um They both said that they just had these crying episodes. Tom sat up by his bed and his wife sat on the on the bed and she said, I didn't know what to do. Tom just sat there and had his crying jag and Emily had hers in the shower until she couldn't cry anymore.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Ran out of hot water.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

Ran out of hot water. Yeah. You know, but and Tom is in Rock Rapids. Yeah. And Emily is in Wayne, Nebraska. So it knows all.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

But they were it I think they were maybe maybe mad.

unknown 23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Why why? What why does this happen? What's the reason behind this? And I think that I wasn't I was more confused and and frustrated. Like, God, just tell me what's going on. This is not a big deal. It's not classified. Just tell me. My wife is sick. What do I got to do?

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Yeah. Well, he finally turned all the communication to like our families or friends or people over to our kids.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Because he got sick of it. Well, I wouldn't sick of it. Again, people would call. It's like, I I I can't tell you anymore. That's all I told you all I know. And then they say, well, does she have this? I don't know. Can she do this? I don't know.

unknown 24:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

And people really just want to know because they love you and they want to press in and they want to be able to help. And then some people just really are nosy.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Let's be real.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Some people are.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

But it was COVID. Nobody really knew what to expect. Yeah. I mean, even the doctors and nurses, this is just totally new for them. So they are like crazy heroes. They were pretty brave to stick with it.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

So since all of this has happened and you have gotten out, I I mean, I just remember everybody just cheering and being super excited and grateful and just feeling so blessed that you were back with us and at church. And but that but it wasn't like you just walked to the hospital and you were all better. Like you went through some some really significant health things. Didn't you say you like you lost your hair?

SPEAKER_02 25:00

My hair, about probably about 80% of it fell out. It'd be in the shower and it would just be going down the drain and all over. And I kind of I took pictures of my hair law. I kind of journaled it with a it was pretty significant. And I have a lot of hair. Yeah. So it was clogging up the drains. What else did what else did you I have some lung damage? Okay. Um, it's called glass opacities of the lungs. Okay. It's like milk glass. Can't really see in it very well.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

But um and neuropathy.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Different weather, like today is a cooler, windy day. Wind she can't be in windy weather. It's hard to breathe.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Yeah. I was gonna add, yeah, okay. And the survivor's guilt that's come on more and more.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Oh what tell me, what is that?

SPEAKER_02 25:48

What do you Well his dad dying and me not? You know, that's and all the people that did pass. And the I'm sure I'm not the only one that speaks for that. Yeah for the guilt because they all, you know, I don't know what the percentage of is if you're on a vent, the survival rate. I don't think it's real high.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Does that kind of kick you in gear of a place of if okay, if I if I'm here and I was able to survive, then I need to do some big things in life.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Like has it made you kind of um not not not especially just it's a why a lot of why.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

A lot of why. So Raleigh, you're also going through cancer. You rang the bell today. Which congratulations. Yay.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

It's a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

It is a really big deal. So it's huge. It is it it's kind of like a one thing after another that you two have both went through. And when I look at you as a married couple of 42 years, just how and you guys met in college, like just that if we get a few minutes, but like you two are sweethearts. You're best friends. Like you have walked through a lot together, you work together. You like it's really beautiful to see your companionship and relationship.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Um remember when we got engaged, my mom said you didn't fall into love, you grew into it. And that's always kind of stuck with me. Well, he she was a wise woman.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

And he told you he was gonna marry you, and you were like, Are you sure? What? Are you sure about that? Who are you? Yeah, well total stranger, Raleigh. I it was. Let's actually quick talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

So you how you got engaged or married?

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Well, just at college when you spotted her, it was wasn't it the first day of college?

SPEAKER_00 27:46

It was not even college, it was signing at freshman orientation.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

So I'm in okay, back in high school thinking, okay, I prayed to God, you know what, God, I know you don't have a lot to work with here, but I would really like to get married. I really need a wife. That would be great. So we go to college to and the first day of orientation to get my picture taken. I walk around the corner, and there is this girl with cutoff bib overalls, long blonde hair, standing next to two, I can tell you these two girls, two other women are. And I that was her. I'm gonna marry her. And I went back to my roommate who I had just met. I said, I saw the girl I'm gonna marry. And he says, What? Yeah, what's her name? I said, I don't know. We had to wait for the freshman directory to open up and find her picture, and then I saw her name.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

So you didn't see her at all the rest of that day. So you like you spotted her? She's you locked in, you locked and loaded. Like I'm that's who I'm hearing. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

And and I called her on our first date and said, So would you like to do something Friday night? She said, No. I'm supposed to marry you, all right. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

I misunderstood him.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

But it was a deep.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

I thought he said, Are you doing anything? Oh.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah. That's what she said.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

He said no.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

He Yeah. I think that, and that was it, it was a total, absolute God thing. I again, I don't know if that's throwing the fleece, but I asked God for direction and to show me, and he did. And he put in my heart, that's there was not a there wasn't an ounce of doubt. Now, Ruth didn't cooperate that well, but four years later she agreed to it. So it's cooperate.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

And you started off relationship with the miscommunications. Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

And so that's kind of been our life. It's just I don't know if that's our life, that's a fair thing to say, but I throw out the fleece a lot. And I think that's actually a sin, but we're gonna go with it.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

You can look it up later.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

And I guess I just go for this it.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

No, I go for trusting God. God, I think this is and I'll I don't like sit down, pray, and you know, sweat beats and all that, but I just go through life talking about it, say, God, this is something that I think I need to do. Is this is this where I'm supposed to go? You gotta show me.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

And he does. Yeah. He I feel like in a lot of your scenarios and situations you've been in, it's been it's proven to be good.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

She flew away in the helicopter and I was scared. I mean, you'd be a fool to not be scared. I was I was scared, but I knew that she would live. I didn't I was scared that she was gonna something was gonna um you know, oxygen brain damage or something physically, like she wouldn't be able to walk or sing, or but she wasn't gonna die.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

You seem to have a track record for knowing things ahead of time. Is that something, Ruth? There's something to say for can we just condense three really big things in the podcast and now I'm just in the train?

SPEAKER_00 30:37

No, I think for me, I talk a lot, but I know I think God, I said it earlier, is a God of order and he has a plan and everything. If you pay attention, if you listen and watch for God, he'll show you, he'll talk to you, he'll say, This is a plan. You don't have to follow it. This is what I got, this is what I got going here.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Be aware of your surroundings.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

And pay attention because this train is moving.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

That's what we pounded into our kids.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

What's that what does that mean? Pay pay attention. Um just be alert. Um everything God speaks to you all the time, constantly. Uh, not just like on the third Thursday of the fourth month. It's just he'll speak to you and listen for his voice and his leading. And he'll it's amazing. He's always there. He's a God of order. Evil tries to stomp that out and create chaos, and evil is selfish and tries to wipe it away. Nope, this is you don't need this. You need to do this. And God with that little voice, it's not a big hurricane, it's not a fire, it's just just pay attention.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

Is it is it intentionality throughout the day just to listen? Just to just to make a few a moment and just and just point your excite your your consciousness to the heavens and say, What's the scoop? versus just making a decision. What's what's it look like for you?

SPEAKER_00 31:59

I I I don't know that I really do that. I think I just I have to catch myself. I have to look at things. I have to look at things like Amos does. He can make this electronic stuff work. And I just have to stop and think God created the human mind to do that. So just be grateful for that and recognize that that God's power is like super crazy. And it's not in big things. I mean, think about the guy that made carpet. Think about the guy that made carpet. Like, yeah. His wife is Elizabeth. You know what, Elizabeth, I'm gonna make carpet.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

And and how did he know that?

SPEAKER_01 32:34

And instead of big rolls, I'm gonna make squares so that if someone spills on it, we can just pop out a square and put in a new one.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Helicopters flew Ruth in. And who created a helicopter to carry patients 12 minutes to Sioux Falls?

SPEAKER_03 32:52

That's just So you're putting these pieces together, and this does this lead to your your faith? Your faith in God's in control?

SPEAKER_00 33:04

The grand plan, but it's easy to forget that God's in control when you have all these outside forces shoving you around and you have um people with money pushing you saying you could you gotta do this. You need this is gonna you're gonna make a lot of money doing this.

SPEAKER_05 33:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

But you're not gonna make your heart any happier.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

I don't know. I'm just kinda maybe a little naive with that. I just think I I don't know how to put God into into I don't have words to express God's greatness. And so when Ruth was healed, that's just God's greatness. I don't I don't think God said, okay, watch this. It's just God being steady, always steady.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

And tr and to be able to trust that, like that's a it's a big deal to be able to just to sit back and say, I trust you. I trust you. I can't, there's nothing I can do as your wife f flies like flying away. Like, okay, God. Like she's literally in your hands. I can do nothing. I pray for the doctors who he brought.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

And I'm on the ground frustrated and crabby, funky because why did you do this, God? This is not what you promised.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Yeah. I think we're so fortunate that we were both raised with such faith, faith-based parents. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, never it never wavered from their faith at all. It's been incredibly since I were a child.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Yep. And so you just have to even maybe it sounds stupid, but to enjoy COVID because of the it it shows how great God is. COVID can be out of control. People are telling us what we have to do, what we have to wear, what we can and can't do. But yet she got better.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:48

What a wonderful perspective.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

It is beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

To take that something that's so hard and just and just re and just remember that God's in control. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

If uh you want to really get into it. In the book of Judges with Samson, one of my favorite verses is where Samson finally succumbs and he has it, he tells about he they cut his hair off. But the verse that you never read about, it's um in chapter 17, the last verse of chapter 17. But the hair on his head began to grow back. So God didn't leave him. God was still there. Samson's physical strength was gone, but God was still there. His hair began to grow back again. And that has to do a lot with COVID. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

My hair began. You did get your hair back. I did get my hair back.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

It's the it's the again, the blessings, the just the simple, beautiful blessings that amongst all of the awry, the the things that are going on around us. If we can simply stop and just take a deep breath and look at what's going on. And so when you say pay attention, and that's what you're teaching your kids, when we get in the big, like just the world's spinning, it's spinning fast. There's so much going on, there's chaos. And I that's, I believe, a complete detour from the devil of all times is the busy, the busyness and not being present. And so I love how you said just pay attention. I believe that if we paid attention more, we would see the sadness in people's eyes and we would see the joy in people's eyes. But we have to look people in the eye in order to see those things, right? Yeah. Um and there's beauty in the ashes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

That's what to swipe a quote. You know, something I don't know where.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

There is beauty in the ashes. And my little five-year-old says, How can God make beauty, beautiful things, that song? Beautiful things out of ashes. Like it was so matter of fact. Yeah. It's possible, sweetheart. So with um with just the overall everything, Raleigh, you go through all of this, and I was just saying how you rang the bell today. So the whole cancer, you all of a sudden are diagnosed with leukemia. And how long ago was that?

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Um, it'll be two years in May.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

So two years in May. So you've been going through treatment?

SPEAKER_00 37:08

I went through treatment. I had uh immunotherapy.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

And I take chemo pills every day. But the crazy part of that, my chemo, I'm sorry, my cancer was found because I got shingles.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

I got way crazy shingles. Howie shingles. Yeah, like this is overrated.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

And I went to the doctor finally, said, okay, I'll go get it checked out. And she said, Have you had a physical? And I said, Well, yeah, like everybody 12 years ago. So they did the physical, and she called back, said, Everything looks good, but I said, What do you mean, but? And my numbers were elevated. And that was the start of my cancer. So thankfully I got shingles.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Yeah, providential. Providential thing.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

But no one ever.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Yeah. For real. It was providential, not thankful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

So, yep, I had um my first month I had infusions, I don't know, every week. And then it so I just did my last one. I was done to once a month. Rang the bell, had some tremendous, unbelievably saintly people take care of me.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Yeah. The sta nurses and staff just bless their hearts.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Oh, what a what a bunch of great people.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Yes. We we also on the we went met we met, a lot of them showed up for anus's brother's memorial. Oh. That took care of him while he was in the hospital. And they're just they're again earthy angels. They're so there's beautiful people. And to have to go through that all the time. Um, is there anything that you guys can think back to um just your relationship and some of the things, the advice you already said kind of what you guys have given advice, but when you're going through some of this really tough stuff, your faith is intact, obviously. And it's why I believe you two have been able to just, it hasn't been smooth sailing by any means. The emotional roller coaster that you two have been on with all of this can really take a toll on a marriage. But I don't feel that from either one of you. I I mean, what has it been like for the both of you to look each other in the eye and walk through all of this?

SPEAKER_05 39:24

They're looking at each other. Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

It's just a lot of times we just kind of laughed about stuff. When I was diagnosed with cancer, a lot of humor.

SPEAKER_05 39:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

Diagnosed with cancer, we went to uh uh Applebee's. Said, so we get cancer. What do we do? Ruth said order.

SPEAKER_01 39:41

Order food.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Yeah. It was just Yeah, we've used a lot of humor in our whole thing. You have to. You have to learn to laugh at yourself and with yourself.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Take yourself too serious, you just lose it.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

I just think sometimes you know, people sometimes say what God is up there saying, now watch what happens when they do this. I don't think God does that, but I think how you respond shows what you think of God. So we could be mad, and I still get frustrated and crabby, but I think uh not necessarily at him. I don't see like No. Sometimes you can kind of lash out at him. And I think he's okay with the thing.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Oh yeah. If I lash out, I lash out at him. But then I also have a few words to I go out on the deck when I gotta yell at the the devil.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

And I think God will he reminds me a lot that it's evil. I'm not it's not me doing this, it's evil. It's evil, it's chaos. It's uh it's uh it's what happens when you try to control the world.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

Uh-huh. So uh humor and letting letting God just be in control. Because when a diagnosis comes like that, or when your wife has flown off, and it's like really all that God wants us to do is to press in and right like press in and have people around you. Yeah, and have good communities.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

This is after we said we get overpeopled, but after my dad's funeral, we went to the hospital. We could look in the hospital window. We went to her room and it was empty and the bed was made. That was a heart sinker. Oh well, they moved her to a negative pressure room. Didn't we didn't know that?

SPEAKER_02 41:25

Oh man. Emily said he just kind of backed up away from the window and said, Emily, call the hospital. Where'd she go?

SPEAKER_05 41:36

Who took my wife? Uh oh.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

But it was I it was all crazy. When my dad died, I just see I drove the hearse to the cemetery. I thought, you know what? My dad and I were on cars our whole life. I'm driving.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 41:52

For real.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

You drove your dad to his Vanderlee motor sticker on his casket. Oh car sticker.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

Yeah, you guys worked together for a long time, Raleigh. I it that's a lot of years to be in business with your dad.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

I worked with my dad.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

We saw him all the time.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

Every day.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

How cool is it to know that we're just this little minute time here on earth and you get to go. I bet you he's driving some really cool cars up in heaven.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

No, he's probably got a junky old rusty edge.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Oh no, that's right. Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

He wasn't a very good driver.

SPEAKER_01 42:29

That's like, no.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

No, geez. Here's Norm. Everybody back up.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

But isn't that just so we're we're studying Revelations right now in our Bible study, and I just love the hope that it gives. Right? Like it's it's a it's a tough, tough chapter in the Bible, but if you really read into it, it's so beautiful what's to come. Oh yeah. It's so beautiful. And just to think that you get to see your see your dad again.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

Yep. It'll be, I don't know. I look forward to not. I might see my dad, but I don't really know that I'll know my dad. I think I'll know my dad in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

When you're in perfection, you don't care.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

I'll see my dad, but I'm not gonna be a golfer. I'm gonna live in perfection. No COVID, just perfection.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

No evil, no chaos.

SPEAKER_03 43:16

You think about that, do you?

SPEAKER_00 43:18

In heaven?

SPEAKER_03 43:18

What heaven's gonna be like.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

Oh, a lot. She gets grumpy. Oh god, here we go again.

unknown 43:23

I do not.

SPEAKER_00 43:24

Everything is can you imagine perfection?

SPEAKER_03 43:27

I've I've I have tried to imagine that.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

I'm married to it. Oh, I missed one there, didn't it?

SPEAKER_03 43:36

Yeah, exactly. But it's hard to it, it's one of those things that's like we can't we we are four dimensional human beings. It's hard to think of a fifth dimension. We just it's just that in our capability. The same thing with perfection feels like. Trying to imagine what that's like. So what do you what do you imagine this like?

SPEAKER_00 43:53

Um Ephesians 3 20. Not of him who's able to do immeasure immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Immeasurably more. Not just more.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

Measurably. Immeasurably. Immeasurably. Can't measure it.

SPEAKER_00 44:07

So it'll be like I won't even I won't even know that I'm in heaven. It'll be like just constant.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Hmm. Raleigh, we gotta we gotta talk. We gotta talk more.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Will the streets be gold? I hope not. I hope they're like unreal. I hope there's some metal that they don't even have any idea.

unknown 44:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:26

You two. I can see you two talking in circles.

SPEAKER_03 44:29

I love that book. Uh is it 40 minutes in heaven? There's two. There's one 40 minutes in heaven, and then there's one that's uh like 27 minutes in heaven. Yeah. And he's got some time in heaven too. And just to just to hear their recount of the afterlife, I just remember one sentence where that he was he said um he knew this distance. He didn't know how he knew this distance. He just knew, he just perceived there were this this distance. And it's just little nuggets like that that go, this is gonna be amazing, whatever it is. Oh it it will be. I can't Yeah, you just can't fathom.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Nothing will be measured. You just said this. I was thinking of like miles, kilometers, like all of that. There's no there's no measurement.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

It's just going to be a forgotten thing. COVID was what?

SPEAKER_01 45:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

COVID won't even be a word in heaven. No. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

What's really interesting is to think about how apparently there's some time is still linear. There's still a there is a now, and then there's a now, no, no, no, no. No now? There's a now now. There's a now now. It's not a song. But then there's eternity. And how does that how does that work together? That kind of blows my mind.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

And there was no before eternity.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

How do you imagine it just makes your mind go in circles?

SPEAKER_02 45:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

It would, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:41

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:44

So you're on we're on Earth now. Evil. Yeah, big little big little deal. The worst part about it, I'm a little bit superstitious. So I think I'm gonna talk about evil and kind of mock evil. Now evil will try to be evil to me.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Yeah. Yep. We'll we'll we'll uh we'll pray that away though, Rob.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

Yeah, okay, good. Got it covered.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

We got you. Well, this has been awesome. I'm so I'm just it's so good to to have you here. Let's just start with that. Thank you. So that whole survival stuff, the survival guilt, that could be another whole conversation, but I'm just I would love to pray that away from you as well because we are so grateful that you are here and you're meant to be here. So for your as with your kids, with Raleigh, with all of it. You are a blessing to so many, Ruth. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. And Raleigh, thanks for advocating for your bride. You're a good deal.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

You're a good dude.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

It was you know, we had stuff to do.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

We hadn't, I would have come back and haunted them. Yeah. That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

Oh, on that note, okay. Well, thank you both for being here, honestly. It's so good for you to share your story and to to just other people will be able to relate relate to what you all went through. And it it was really hard for so many people around the world.

SPEAKER_05 47:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 47:04

So thank you for sharing some of those intimate details of what you went through. We really love you guys.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

Thanks. Thanks. It's good.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

Yeah, thank you. Thanks. Thank you so much for listening. We want to change lives through this podcast. And if you want to support this podcast or our guests, please see the links below for our Patreon and giving links.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

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