SPEAKER_03 0:00

Here comes a sun dude. Here comes a sun that say it's all right.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Hello, fortitude audience. This is Heather Kittleson, your host, and I am accompanied with my husband Amos.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

And across from me, I have wonderful Paul DeYoung, who is a recent friend. We have met through serving on the Arboretum board together. And we have only been in each other's presence about four different times. And I am so grateful to have you here with me today. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Well, that's great. It's kind of interesting how this happened. Like I said, we met, you recently joined the board, and I think I'd seen you there once. This is the second time we crossed paths, and we had a very nice conversation. I realized quickly we were kind of kindred spirits. We had been through some challenge in life, like most everybody that walks their thirst has, but we connected pretty quickly. Heard your story about you and Amos. I've had a chance to listen to some of your podcasts, and I like what I hear. It's a very interesting story. Like you said, sometimes we all go through challenges. Nobody even realizes it. And sometimes you can help somebody on a given day just by being kind. And a lot of this is just basic human kindness. It's not rocket science, it's just being nice and spiritual to one another.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

That is, yes. Amen to that, Paul. The reason I was so excited to have you on here is because you have you have left a legacy already here in the Sioux Falls area. You have a lot of people who love and admire and really do cherish you as a leader of our community. And so for those of us who are listening that aren't right here in the Sioux Falls area, I'd love for you to just give us a little bit of who you are, where you're from, what your current, I guess, just your life is at this juncture. And then we're going to get a little bit into your history from your car accident then to the spider bite and all the things that the adversity that you've gone through. But let's hear all the good stuff about Paul.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

And first of all, sir, when you mention adversity, we've all gone through this, but I've learned to refer to them as tragic blessings. I read the book once I was called that, and I thought that was a great analogy because of all so-called not so nice things, you reap some benefits too. But I grew up in Northwest Iowa, was fortunate to grow up in a very spiritual Christian family, went to a Christian elementary school, Christian high school. And I was kind of at a loss. I went to have an associate's degree. I was always going to go back later and get my bachelor's degree, but and my significant other at the time was going to school here, and I happened to ride by. At that time, it was called Lakeland Nursery. I was on my way into town recently, graduated from school. I had my, I even forget what year, Grand Prix, and my couple suitcases full of clothes. I remember I stayed at my uncle and aunt for a while and I stopped. It was Lakeland Nursery at that time, a small garden center. And I, at that day and age, I liked working outside, like getting a suntan. I thought this might be a good, good job, summer job, till I till I find my real job. And like I said, I was kind of floundering what I wanted to do in life. And within a short time, I knew what I wanted to do. I just loved it, just the atmosphere, being outside. And part of it was I've always liked helping people. And you look at landscaping, you might say, how's that really helping people? But I was helping people enjoy their outdoor living experience. It's not about planting trees or doing a front landscape, it's adding quality family time where they can spend more time outside. It's changing their curbobile, so it's making pride of ownership. So I fell in, fell in love with it very quickly.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

And landscape, I think of the fireplace. You and I were speaking about that, about fireplace and about um inviting your neighbors over. So truly the experience and the memories that you were creating by making the front yard and the backyard and their environment beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yes, and landscaping has changed a great deal since you know this was oh, close to 40 years ago. So then it was a few shrubs and a few perennials, maybe a tree in the front yard. And now it's evolved into this water features.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

Yes, it has.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

The outdoor living areas where you entertain guests and people. So it is really about entertaining and being able to socialize with either family or friends.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Yes. And you and that so that was your first job out of you after you got out of college and moved here. Is that correct? You were working at That's correct.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

And at that time, like I said, I had no money in my pocket. So I had nothing against this particular establishment, but I I rented a room for a month at the deluxe motel on Western Avenue. And I remember there was either an embers or frying pan next door. So I I think you could get bacon and eggs and toast or whatever it was for 99 cents or $1.99. So for a while there, after I lived there, I couldn't eat eggs for a while because that's what I existed on. But that's I've told my, and every time I bring up that story to my kids, they kind of roll their eyes, yes, Dad, we've heard this story a million times. So they've had their fill of it, like I had my fill of eggs and bacon.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

That's great, Paul. Um, okay, so so moving a little bit to you have three, three beautiful kids.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

I have three children whom all I love dearly and very proud of.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Yes. Tyler, Alex, and Maddie.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Yes, and the Maddie's referred to as the golden child by their brothers, but I said they weren't they didn't actually grow up very abused. They had a pretty good life, too. But little sisters, as you know, probably get picked on a little more.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

We do. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Because you're the youngest of four, if I recall.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yep. Yep. My three older brothers, they um they definitely gave me a run for my money, but I am tougher today because of them. So I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

My daughter Mandy was a point guard in basketball, and she could take a beating and keep ticking, but she always said she always got beat up by her her older brothers, which she did from time to time.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

I was the oldest of five, and I never beat anyone up. Well Maybe I should have. Maybe I should. Maybe it's not too late.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

No. They all your siblings turned out really well without you having to do that.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

This is true. Well, you have a kind spirit, Amos, so I won't be too much. It's not in my nature. This is true. And that's a good that's a good attribute.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

So, Paul, you um I'm gonna fast forward just a little bit because you got a little taste of landscaping, and then you became the owner of Landscape Gardens, which is a very, very large uh nursery. I mean, it's beautiful. It's turned into something just magnificent. You go in there and it's a whole experience all in itself. And so you became a very prominent business owner through a little bit of taste of landscaping when you were right out of college, to then turning around and working and owning and becoming a very prominent business owner here in Seattle's.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

I would like to think so. And and the founder, Phil Helland, who is a real strong mentor along with along with my father and his son, we bought out the rest of its interest. And we also bought prior to that, which had the advice of my father, there is some about 100 acres of land for sale, which is now, you know, at that time you gotta look back, it was all farm fields, two or three farms between 57th Street and Landscape Garden Center, which worked out pretty well first. But I just took a threw caution in the wind, it turned out to be one of my my best decisions I ever made. So that gave me leapfrogged me into an ownership position. Like I said, I'm very fortunate, this is God directing me. Like you said, we've all had some adversity, but I've been so blessed in so many ways. And one of those is I never, and I'm sure there might have been a few, but very seldom did I not hop out of bed and want to just rush to work because it was just a labor of love.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Yeah, that's everybody hopes and wishes and dreams that that's the case, to get up in the morning and be super excited about what they're going to do.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

And the unfortunate thing, there's a there's a fair amount of people that don't really love what they do, and I'm I don't envy them at all. And if I don't mean to be dressed, but if you don't thoroughly enjoy what you do, I know you got bills to pay, but try to find something different because once you find the right thing, you'll know it.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Yep. Yep. And follow your heart, follow your gut instinct of what you're passionate about, because if you do that, it is, man, it's a whole nother world. You you become the person that God created you to be when you follow your heart and your passion.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Yes, because young people quite often ask me, uh, when did you know? And I said, Oh, basically it just kind of falls out of the air. So obviously you have to plan ahead, but don't be too hard on yourself when you don't know exactly what you want to do. You know, don't rush yourself. Like I am fortunate to know the founder of Pizza Ranch, Adrian Grunewig from Orange City, Iowa. Now we grew up together and got in a fair amount of trouble, and he had no idea what he wanted to do. And he he started working at a pizza place, and him and his mother fiddled around with some recipes, and he opened the first pizza ranch in Hall Iowa, which I ate it before it was open. I can that's my claim to fame. And now I believe there's over 300 franchise restaurants. And then he tells young people the same thing. Don't be so hard on yourself. God will direct you in time. And when you find it, you'll know.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Paul, it would have been an honor to work for you. Just in in the short amount of time that getting to know you, I have learned a lot already. So to be under your leadership and work for someone like you would have would have would have just been such a fun gig.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

I like to think I made a difference, and I tried to be a positive impact on as many people's lives because you know I always say number one on the list is treat your customers and employees with respect, and number three on the list is treat your customers and employees with respect. And all of us in life, we want we deserve to be respected. No matter what role we play, and I'm not trying to pick on any careers or anything, so I'm not even gonna bring up certain careers that are l looked as maybe not as important. Because every career everybody's your superior in some way.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Yes. Yep. Someone once told me that uh you know, a restaurant, all the different jobs in a restaurant, what do you think is the lowest one at a restaurant? And people will naturally say dishwasher. And then in return, you look at that and you go, actually, they're one of the most important. Because would you eat at that restaurant if they had dirty dishes? Right? So it comes full circle as to every single person sh has a valuable job.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

And I got to share a short story, and I don't want to blow my own horn, but there was a convenience store that I frequented, and there was several ladies that worked there, and I got to know them pretty well. They'd always come in, and as my health was declining, where I'd have a hard time getting around, they knew what I wanted, so they'd go get it as I walked in the door, and I thought that was so respectful. And then this happened to be this fall when I was still driving before my voice strongly suggested I hang up the keys. I went in there and I fell outside, and these same ladies, two of them left, one of them drove my pickup home and one of them followed the other one to take it home, and I said, That is so humbling that you did that. And they made the comment that and they had me read all wrong because they heard I was a wealthy businessman, which is not necessarily the truth. But they said you are always so respectful that you knew us by name. And I always say benefits being kindness comes full circle. So in that same instance, if I'd have been rude to them, they may have said, Well, just lay, I'm sure they wouldn't have let me lay there. But you know, I had made an impact on them without even realizing it, just by simple and it there's not much intelligence required to be kind to individuals.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

You are correct. We teach our kids all the time. I always say, just be kind. There's you can never go wrong with being kind to even in a situation that can be a hard one and someone isn't being kind to you, you will win the situation just by being kind back. Don't the way that you react to things is always your choice. So be kind in every chance of it.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

And it's very simple because it doesn't require, like I said, I've never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, although I've tried to. Kindness requires some skill and mindset, but not a whole lot of IQ. You are correct. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I the kindness is also a testimony to humbleness because you can be prideful and have things go to your head and and just think that you don't have to be kind anymore. Often does that happen? But that kindness, it's a direct correlation with your humility, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah, but one thing is I've been seen as different things in my life, some successes, some failures. And the one thing that always comes to mind is, and I think most people that have been so-called successes started somewhere. You know, a few were born into money, but most people started at rock bottom where they probably didn't pick a paycheck, so they know what it's like to live like my story with eating $1.99 or 99, the story gets better every year about where I was living. Well, you start with humble begins and you recognize people that you know you all start somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Mm-hmm. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Um, I want to quick kind of jump in a little bit into you've had a couple things. So even with your successes and everything that you um through, I guess you're determined you've had so much determination in every aspect of your life from looking at how you were raised, never taking that for granted, moving into a leadership role. You've also gone through um a couple things that were very unexpected. One being a car accident, and two being a spider bite that transformed your life into chronic pain. And nobody likes to live their life in chronic with chronic pain, and yet you have done it with grace and had really good days. You've climbed a lot of a lot of mountains in adversity. And so, or I what did you call it? Blessing uh tragic blessing. Tragic blessing. So I would love for you to let our audience know a little bit of of of what you've gone. Just spend a spend a couple minutes explaining those those stories to us.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Well, that's an excellent question. I was 26 years old, and I was I drove a little S10 pickup, and the reason I bring that up is I got hit by a big Oldsmobile is a head-on crash on a blind hill on a gravel road. I was on my way to the to work and we met on, like I said, on a gravel road. My pickup was just annihilated. It was just beyond. And the miracle part about Emerald Acres, which is uh now 69th Street, that's the the road I was on.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

And there was a gentleman watching turbinoculars for his daughter's bus, so he was able to he seen it happen like a half mile away, the collision. So immediately he called 911. And I had lost the ability to breathe. I was unconscious, both lungs were collapsed, my sternum molted, and my legs were just smashed. But and this isn't a good idea, but I I decided that I wasn't going to wear a seat belt for a while because the tire of the pickup came through a setting on the seat, and my steering wheel was through the back of the seat. It was that velocity, but I ended up somehow, by God's grace, on underneath the dash on top of me on the driver's, on the passenger side, how that happened, you know, only God knows. But I was fortunate in that sense. But with my legs, must have been over there because my my legs were, especially my left leg, was broken, just annihilated, which just caused me pain since that time.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

But you know, I was working for Phil Helland at the time, who who believed in me, and he said, take as much time as you want. I believe I was back to work in limited role in just a few weeks because I was so passionate about what I did and how he treated me through that. So if you look, and I should have brought some pictures of that, it's truly a God thing that I survived that. You know, my life should have been over with by then. So at that time, you know, I lived with pain. I limped from then on. And as a young man, that is that's not something you wish for. Yeah, I wouldn't say it became my signature, but I think it sent a message to someone that you don't you don't have to give up just because something doesn't necessarily go your way. So then fast forward a few years, and this is called so-called one of the adversities I faced. I was in an ownership role, and then my my wife, Lisa, and I we went to Cosmel. And we it's a vacation, it was long overdue. I believe all the kids were born at that time. I was in my I was around 40. And I I was in I was very fit at that time, which ended up saving my life, I feel. And I did a lot of hiking and I got stung by a brown recluse spider, which in in itself is not really that big a deal. But fortunately, we were back home in the States. And I remember during the night, my my oldest son at the time was probably ten or eleven years old. We went to Salem to a basketball game. We were coming home, I started getting really disillusioned. My leg swelled up during the night, and I should have gone in that night, but my leg was my left leg was twice as over twice the size of my other leg by the next morning. I was very incoherent. So my wife, Lisa, took me to ER. They took my blood pressure and they said, You're going right to there's something you've got an infection, you're septic. And still not thinking it was life-threatening. And they could not figure it out at that time, and then it just kept getting worse. My it you could just feel the infection moving up my leg, and it turned out to be and I'll I'll turn this toy around at the time. There was a gentleman, he I think he was interning in Fargo, North Dakota, and for some reason he was in at Sioux Valley at that time hospital, and he had been educated or did a residency in Orange County, California, which brown rescues are in a warmer climate or more common. And he had one of his medical profs really pound into their head, you'll probably never see this in your career. It's called necrotizing fasciitis or in layman's term, flesh eating infection. But I want you to know how to treat it. So the surgeons at the time had really no way how to approach it. And I was at that point, I was I was basically dying. They didn't know what to do. And so he came here, and I and he I just remember him, and by that time I was on, it seemed like he was a priest. He was dressed in black, and I'm not Catholic by faith, but it seemed like he was a priest, and he was actually the surgeon directing this. I remember him whispering, you're gonna make this. And my father and mother were there, and my wife, and it was very incoherent. I remember the I was going into surgery, I remember the room, all these cold metal surroundings, the room. I remember it being very cold, and I'm I'm thinking, Well, this is what is this gonna be the last vision I have of Earth? And my father was a farmer, and you know, that generation was never real sappy or told they they loved me that much. And I remember when I'd get in trouble, he'd always point that crooked finger at me and and direct me. And I remember him very distinctly that day pointing at me, and he said, Do not give up. Whatever you do, you'd never give up. And that's etched in my mind.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Your father.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

My father, and he's deceased now. He he came to he he was blessed with Parkinson's disease also. And from then on, I survived. They did, I think, close to 20 surgeries over the next two weeks, because basically you have to fight it like wildfire. You have to get ahead of it, you have to remove the tissue because it spreads at an inch an hour. They stopped it at my hip or groin area, so they had to remove some tendons, but it was right at the point where it was do or die, where I was I was near death. But and then after two months in intensive care, and I remember it was Good Friday, and I wanted to go home in the worst way.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

And I by the time I got home, I wanted to go back because that becomes your incubator. Yeah, I remember going outside of the hospital and I could smell exhaust, you could just smell life in general, things you overlooked. But and now I look back, how in the world, where did that two months go? Two months out of your life. I remember very little. But the thing that at times since then I've had downtimes or adversity, I'll never forget that look and my father pointing at me, and and we'll talk about several months ago I had something which is quite life-changing. I remember that where it flashed through my mind, can I can I make it through this again? I was kind of doing the woe is me story, which I never try to. And my father's words came back to be Don't give up. Don't ever give up. So that sustained me. And I'm not saying that's the only thing that sustained me, but in life I can tell most people is just things are for everybody are gonna get tough at times, but you just try to get through it.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

Mm-hmm. You do.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

And God will give us certain powers we realize we we'll never realize we ever possessed.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

To go uh to go back to um that doctor, I remember when we had this conversation before, didn't you say that that that like he was re not like he was somebody from like he came out of nowhere. He wasn't even supposed to be there or something.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

And no, he happened to be on call that night, and he did I never met him after the surgery. I just remember this foggy figure and the In the surgery room, giving me and from then on, I guess my mother and father begged him to stay, but he he had to leave. But he was kind of like my like an angel. Like an exactly an angel, and I believe that was God's presence that was felt strongly. And I've had a lot of several of those moments I can recognize in my life. Now, when you're in this deep pit, you know, God does step up and nudge you with certain signs. And I just had a sign from that the other night, a statement my son had made. And we'll probably talk about that a little later.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

So car accident to a spider bite that turns into flesh-eating disease, to two months in the hospital, you recover, you come out, and did you go right back into being a business owner and hit it hard?

SPEAKER_00 22:51

I was a little over exuberant. Some days after being on your back for so long in that time, it it took me, but I was back to work fairly shortly. I remember the neighbors joked, he's they knew it wouldn't take long before they'd see that pickup back out of the garage and me going back to work. So I started going back part days in the community. And I think that's why I appreciate Sioux Falls, South Dakota. And I love people to this day. Everybody's got a story, and and people just came out of the woodwork. It almost got to be a little overwhelming about because this was an unusual illness, not something you hear about every day. My employees and and just individuals as a whole have just in and other things too. You know, there you talk about the world not being a real pleasant in life. This is a this life is hard, it's difficult. We live in a broken world, but there's a lot, so many great people that just and all you got you don't even have to ask, they just come out of nowhere. And I think that's we're still somewhat of a Midwest rural community because you know, you have small town upbringing, and there's just so many genuine people.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

There are. That is one thing that my husband and I will say often is, you know, we live in a in a small community, but I I would I mean it's beautiful. Some people are like, how do you live in a town of 600 people? And easily, because everybody there is so beautiful and amazing. And they're like a lot of lot of them have become family to us. And our kids get to go to a uh smaller school that they get a lot of hands-on, you know, beautiful attention from these great teachers. And that's Hills Beaver Creek. Yeah, Hills Beaver Creek.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

They have a pretty successful athletic program.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Yeah, they do. They do.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Because I remember my son, oldest son playing basketball, and they were always kind of he went to Sioux Falls, Chris, and they'd always scrap it out. Yeah. My son was kind of an aggressive basketball player to the point I'd have to tell him no technical fouls this game. But that's a long time ago. And I hopefully he doesn't hear this. He didn't say my filter's gone.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

He will probably say, Yeah, that was me. Yeah, being that aggressive athlete. Um there's there's more to your story where I I like in when I was talking to you about the business owner piece, because I there's a lot of a lot of misconception about business owners, and you're the CEO of a business, and oh, you make all this money, and um, you know, you're in the upper echelon and all these different things. And I I live with and I'm married to a business owner who has a lot of stress and a lot of pressure that is on him. And there's a lot of extra hours that go into what he is doing. He's putting his heart and his soul into um providing for a family. And that does not come easy. You know, a lot of people will think that, oh, you're at the top, you got it, you got it made. And I'm sitting across the table from my husband and and you, Paul, and I know that that is not the case. And so the stigma on that, I would love for you to speak a little bit because the time, the pressure, the hours, and all the things that go in with it, what is that, what does that do to you, to add to a man?

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Well, you're exactly right. Like most people, and you can see, I don't know if you refer to me as the upper echelon, but I didn't, I certainly didn't start out that way, nor did I necessarily end that way. But I think in some people's eyes, it was that, and that kind of lends itself back to my story is if you don't love what you do, or if you plan on working so you can golf on Thursday, and and that'd probably come to that point over time, but that's gonna take many years before you start showing a profit.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

You know, and it takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. But the one thing I figured out, and I said this, and that was one of the statements I made to those young ladies that brought me home that night, I fell, is they said, one statement you made to us, Paul, is your life became easier and your life became more worthwhile when you start you started in this business because you love growing and growing in plants, and then you started worrying more about growing your employees, and that's when my life that made it the most rewarding. She said, that changed my perspective so much. He said, and that was I didn't even realize I said anything of the sort, but she remembered that from years earlier, and she said that always changed my misconception of so-called business owners, or and I'm not putting myself on the wealth pedestal, but successful people as a whole. So we have to be careful what we say, whether it's, you know, because we can make a difference in somebody's life, especially our employees, either in a positive or negative way. And I know I'm pretty sure our our talk today is going to be positive. Our goal is always to it have a positive ending. And in a control, you know, you can use power in two different ways. You can either use it in a dictatorship type of way where everybody shudders when you walk by, or do it being more charismatic in my. If you've got an employee or or coworker that's down on their luck, you help them out, you send them a meal, you pat them on the back. I was always more management by walking around. I think there's a professional term with that. But I was more of an encourager, and I'm not saying that's the right or wrong way to do it, but most people do not take advantage of you. Respect is something that most people crave.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

Mm-hmm. And and encouragement. Respect, encouragement, being seen. We talk about that a lot about how important it is for um all the employees. Anyone in this world that is walking around just wants to be noticed, to be seen, to know that they're on this earth and acknowledged.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Um And I remember you talking about skipping paychecks, and so that was all part of that. Your employees don't need to know that, nor do they have to, or not necessarily your spouse all the time, but there's times you have to make sacrifices. And I never tried to bring that home to the kids. And I heard a parable or a story about this once, where this gentleman would always follow this older gentleman in, and he'd always grab this branch, this tree, and give it a pull before he walked in the house. He asked him why he did that, and he said, I'm leaving all my troubles at the door, that way I can spend quality time with my family, and then I can pick them. And you've probably heard this story. Yeah, it's a great one, though. Pick them back up tomorrow. But when you're home, you're home. And it took me quite a few years to figure that out. It took the same, same here, Paul.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

It took five five years, six years to figure that out. And once you go there, you never want to go back. I mean, never once you once you start leaving at the door, am I right? Then you start to develop this muscle that says, no, I'm not gonna take time away from my family.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

That is true, because like you know, you live and breathe, that that's your passion. And and we get our faith in God needs to be number one on the list, our family second. And then after that, our career. But we don't necessarily unfortunately I had them out of order for quite a few years. Now it took me all my 60 plus years to start to figure that out that family and your faith is the most important thing or and friends.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

And unfortunately, people sometimes figure that out when it's too late.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

That's exactly right. And there's I'd like to say one of the questions I want to say is I w when I do pass away, and hopefully that's not for all I think we want to pass away with no regrets, leaving no stoons unturned that we missed. It's very important to me that I didn't mistreat somebody or or not have a grudge settled up, but I don't think I have many grudges, but if I do, I want to clear them up or make sure that person knows of certain positive things, the positive things they've helped me with in my life.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Wouldn't it be wonderful to because I want to move into the Parkinsons because that is what you are currently living. You're currently living with a disease that they gave you a time limit. And that is something that for I mean, it makes my heart pound, Paul, even just saying that, because that is not something that you woke up 40 years ago and thought that that was going to be where you're sitting today, where they say, Well, guess what, Paul? You need to quit doing what you love, you need to slow down because you have Parkinson's now. And can you take me to that day when they diagnosed you with that and kind of what you were feeling in that moment?

SPEAKER_00 31:35

And I even forget what year it was now, but it's probably been six years ago, and then I was in Sioux Falls, and he recommended I go to Iowa Iowa City or Mayo Clinic to get his to confirm is what he thought was happening is I had Parkinson's disease. I was also weaning myself off uh a pain med, which so my feet were dragging, I was stumbling and not walking as well. So I think I'm probably in it seven or eight years where showing signs of that. And so that was very difficult. But there I went through a period of time where I thought, well, this I got this, and they said, Well, you gotta start backing off your stress because it's kind of like a feeding frenzy, like I picture like a I don't know, a flock's the right philosophy. Puran is feeding, that's what I was gonna say. Where they attack it, stress attacks Parkinson's disease and speeds up the process. So they said, try to keep your life as stress-free as possible with raising kids and raising life. So I started to sell out of the business that time. And I was still able to stay pretty involved with it, which was so I got to back out over a period of time. And still being in denial, like I was doing physical therapy, very faithful about that, still to this day, which I've met some wonderful individuals, because like if I wouldn't have been in this situation, the three of us would probably never be talking. I never would have got to know some of these physical therapists that are a big part of my life. So we we meet a lot of people on the way, and that's probably God in Deuce. So I was still in denial for quite some time, and then about a year ago, then I seen my neurologist, and he sent me to uh I'm still even for I always forget it's a comfort care doc, basically in the life doctor, not what's the name for it?

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Palliative palative care, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

And I was still too naive to really know what that means. Then they put a fuse on my life. They thought it was more of a aggressive form of Parkinson's disease, where I would say seven years into it, and the basic life life expectancy is eight to twelve years loosely, they put it. That's like I got hit right between that. It's like, geez, I've never had a fuse put in my life. It's like I'm 60 years old now, I'm living on borrowed time. But I've come to believe that nobody can tell you when you're you're gonna expire, and you can only do that by your faith. And and there's gonna come a time where my life will be finished on that earth, but I'm not dwelling on that right now. The one thing that's been hard to take is I I need help with things. I and for those of you that I know most you cannot see this, but I use a walker. I do not drive anymore. I'm really unable to go to my job, so I'm pretty much cooped up in the house, which a couple of those cold mornings last week that didn't seem like such a bad deal as my morning coffee by the kitchen tapes. And that's part of acceptance. And I think God's ready, and along with the help of a lot of great friends, because giving up driving was terrifying to me. I'm like, that's all my independence, because I was kind of a cruiser, I'd cruise around, and I'd love to take country drives. But you know, so many people have stepped up, picked me up, like my physical therapy, which I go three or four times a week, and and I have a couple cousins that have really stepped up, and my siblings, my kids, and I have a young lady that's and I gotta make sure I say this correctly, uh, a relative who is looking for a place to live. She's 24, she's a teaching assistant, so she moved in with me to help me. Because I am a real fall wrestler, as you can tell by some of my newly. And I didn't want to be that guy where my kids felt they had to stop every night. I want my kids to stop by when they want to, not that they feel they have to check on me, because I've been very because backing up this story a little bit, my dad had severe Parkinson's. It was a very And he got Lewy body dementia, which is quite common with Parkinson's. So that I seen a tragic ending or of the man I thought was a mountain or my hero. I seen it was a dismal device, even go to the point to say, if I ever get that, just take me out behind the barn and get rid of me. Now that I have it, I'm not gonna go to that length. I'm not ready to give up yet. But Parkinson's, along with many other it's such a helpless feeling because your your body and mind says one thing, but it just can't there's times where it just you can't execute it because the dopamine's not being fed to your body in the correct amounts, and I'm not a physician, but I'm I know enough to be dangerous.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

And for those who don't know what Parkinson's is, what is then what's the main the main thing about Parkinson's?

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Well, I always saw you picture these pe people shaking uncontrollably. Like Michael J.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

Fox, right?

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Like Michael J. Fox, and you can kind of see, and you might have pulled my legal pad away because I do have a slight tremor in my hand. But mine is mostly my gait, my balance, where I fall frequently. I cannot walk. It's like when I'm bad, like at night, it's just helpless. It's like I stutter stuff. It's like my feet just it's like a double piston where my feet just pound back and forth, and it's it's a good workout. It's it yeah, it must be a lot like Pilates or or something, because it it is so wearing on you, but at times I just have to stop. And as I've got a seat on my walker, so that's when the laser beam on it, which makes me step over the line.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Oh, that's that's neat. Those engineers and how they engineer stuff.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

So that's the scene at my house. Step over the line, Dad. Step over the line.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

So it doesn't so it it affects your muscles. I mean, a lot of it affects your muscles.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

Well, you've seen when we left, I was able to lift my walker down the steps, and I always think I'm such a weak stick now, but I do have some strength left, but it's the control of your muscles.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Control of it, okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

How you control them and how you execute your steps. That's why you always when another word around our house, of course, is count your steps and step over the line, which is my laser beam.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

So I've got very good coaches, and my sons are are very nice and very supportive, especially my oldest son. They don't coddle me, they they use some salty terms once in a while to get their points wrong. And I won't say those on the air.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

Yeah, well, I we can use our imagination, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Uh it's nothing out of line, they just don't want to see their father give up. Oh, they love you. Which I've always raised them that way. You don't give up.

SPEAKER_02 38:11

There's a lot of uh when when people are go are going through um, so to speak, speak to those that you've had chronic pain, you've had, you've lost your independence. You're young. You're young, Paul. You're 60 years old.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Oh, just turned 61. So I look probably older than the first time you met me.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

No, well, happy birthday, by the way. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

That was just this past Sunday. I had to get that in there in case anybody wants to send me any cash or gifts.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

I there probably will be because I I had a card would be fine too. The thought, a thought on my heart right now is you know, you mentioned if you don't want to leave with any unturned route, like you don't you don't ever want to go out with any regrets or any, like if there was ever a time that someone that you touched their lives, or there was a time that you said something like the gas station ladies, you know, for those who are listening to this, because this podcast um has recently reached people all over the world. And so with the amount of people that you've touched, Paul, I am gonna just throw it out there that if there is a story or there is a situation that somebody wants to reach out to you and love on you and tell you what you the impact that you've had on their life, to reach out to me. I wanna be the one to help deliver those messages to you because um there is nothing more just loving than to really tell somebody the impact that they you have had on their life. Like what a legacy for you to be able to read that and hear those those special stories. And so um I've only known you for a few uh short few months, and I can tell you that you've touched my life in a really big way. And so I'm I just am really grateful for you.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

Well, that's very kind, and I don't know. I think I acquired that through these some those setbacks because you know I was the normal man, probably a little I was a confident man. God has a way of humbling you over time. But and yeah, and without and my speech is kind of wavering a little bit now. Hopefully I can hold up here for a while. And I think I'm doing pretty good so far.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

You got just a few minutes left, so you're doing great.

SPEAKER_00 40:31

And this is getting a little emotional, but and I keep saying but which drives me nuts.

unknown 40:37

You're fine.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

Okay. You're fine.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

So, but take that opportunity. I I have become, and it's given me a like when somebody dies suddenly, they don't have a chance to say goodbye. I'm not saying I'm on a victi tour because I'm not giving up. Hopefully I have a I'm gonna out out with the doctors in this whole thing, and I have many years left. But anytime you have an opportunity to touch people, especially if you're if there's somebody that manages people, or you don't have to manage people. Say you're working at the convenience store like those young ladies I talked about. You can make somebody's day with a single impact. And when I went through a very depressive time several years ago, I just thought, God, I'm gonna pick myself up, and if I can have an impact on one person a day, and that's the old cliche, but that in a year's time, and if those people pass that on to somebody else, you're talking about hundreds of thousands of people over time, and that's what I like. I'm so proud of you too. You went through some adversity, and now you're making something great out of it. And you've both touched, and I'm throwing this right back at you. You've made an in both of you have made an impact in my life. I ran into a gentleman that used to work for Landscape Garden Center, and we had a nice conversation as we walked in. I guess he's recently joined Trey Ministries, which I hopefully that works out well for everybody.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Hey, Tim, who's out there, yeah. Um you know, in how you've kept a positive attitude, I think is what has really touched my life and will touch thousands of listeners that listen to this podcast because you have dealt with something continuously the ups, the downs, the valleys, the mountaintops, and you're living with chronic pain and with a disease that is inevitably going to take your life. And not only that, Paul, but I know just recently um you're happening in the middle of a divorce.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

Yes, unfortunately, and there's a lot of stress leading up to that, and that's pretty raw and emotional right now. So I don't want to lean into that too much, but that has caused a tremendous amount of stress in my life. So for any listeners out there, is don't give up and appreciate what you have. Just cultivate your marriage, because like we talked about earlier, your wife and children should be next to God, the highest highest on your list, and hopefully somehow through all this, I can add that as something I can probably help somebody else through someday because it it appears to be inevitable, which is not what you don't get married to get divorced, nobody starts in that manner, but with my my kids helping others, and and not only this, through my health things and so on. I'm again I'm so humbled. I never it's like I don't think I ever have to cook again. I was never really a coffee drinker, but so many people have taken me out for coffee this summer. I've acquired a taste. So it's just and I'm I'm just so humbled because there's I won't say thousands, but there's hundreds of people that have given me encouragement since it's very noticeable there's something wrong with me. And what I admired about you one of the first times I met you is I believe that was the first or second time, and I was fortunate enough to sit by you. A lot of people give you that cold, glassy stare, like, what's this guy? He's not 80 years old, he's got a walker, what's wrong? And and you just simply ask me, What's with the walker? It was very calm, it wasn't in my face, and and I've noticed since then you you Are very open about that. So it was very comfortable, and that led in, and I wasn't insulted and on. I think it led into a very good conversation. It led to this. We have a common friend with Sandy Bourbon, who's a wonderful individual. So once I I knew you were on her good list, I I was sold.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Yeah. I I um, you know, I've had so many incredible things happen just by asking a simple question. I mean, look at the door that opened up by you sat down next to me. I'm like, what's with the walker? Like, what's your story? And I remember you gave me kind of a look like, well, wow, okay. Um, okay. She's like, we're going there. It was so, and then we just talked. And from that moment on, like, you're sitting here now with me today. And so I just encourage people all the time to again, we've said it so many, be kind, but just ask people their story. Ask people to just tell you a little bit about what's going on and then to ask them how we can serve them. How can I serve you? How can I love on you? Right? Like that's a that's just it's such a simple thing. And yet I don't think people do it enough.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

But you said uh, you know, I don't claim to have a high IQ because everybody's your superior in some way. I don't think we dwell on that whether you're a CEO of a company or and I'm picking on dishwashers because we took, I think there is absolutely no shame in being a dishwasher. But you know, you should treat everybody the same way and wherever you're at, whatever interaction, whether they look whether they have a big scar on their forehead from a recent fall or a big nose, like I do. I'm picking on myself now, making line.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

You're a handsome fella, Paul. So you're even with your gashes and your it's just now it's more character.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

Well, that's I said I look more like Clint Eastwood now. You gotta make light of these things. So but you know, I've had some out of this thing, this has been, I would I know this has been the most challenging six months of my life, no doubt about it. And I and it did run through my mind. I think this, I won't say I was on the verge of because I I said to myself, what do I have left to live for? And it's almost like there's thoughts in my mind. There are certain nights I just don't know if I can do this anymore. It's not like I wanted to end my life, but I just didn't know if I had the strength to go on with the constant pain. Because it's something, chronic pain people don't realize. You can never take a break. It's like, okay, I'm gonna take a half-hour break. And it's hard to sleep, so you're you very seldom sleep well. So it's that that constant, and this is not a woe is me story, but I want to tell people out there that know somebody that's experiencing that, don't feel like they're a whiner if they're getting dumb, because that is you got to go to a special place in your mind to seek your own special hiding place because it is unrelenting. And then with uh Parkinson's going south, now I don't know if it's gonna level out and I'm not giving up. Another thing that has really occurred to me, I I never would have had a chance to meet, and physical therapists are special people because they need to know who to push and who to who to pull back, and most of the time they had to pull me back. And I have a gal I met, and I called out of the blue because I get I was on my way back from Mayo Clinic with my wife, and all of a sudden they send you in your way with a couple brochures. Well, I've got Parkinson's disease, and you're riding back. There's no infrar, and I couldn't find any health groups. So I called, which was uh orthopedic institute, and I talked to a gal, her name is Stephanie Myers, and she's a physical therapist. I thought she was maybe a counselor or something that I could go talk to to get a checkup from the neck up, which she she has given me plenty, and she said, Well, you have to schedule and you have to come into therapy. So reluctantly I did, and she's made such an impact, as well as Amanda and there's and others that have made they're very special because you have to motivate people, give them hope. And I've been I'm not giving up on that because that's the only thing proven to extend your life. And you don't die from Parkinson's, you die with it. Like I recently acquired a kidney infection, a urinary tract infection, and that's basically as as time goes on, you're more prone, your body's worn down, so you die of something else. So I say, I'm not gonna die of Parkinson's, I'll probably eventually die from it. I always tell my kids that's gonna be a long time away. And first of all, you kids gotta have started having grandkids.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

Yeah, you need some grandbabies. Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

I'm not gonna go out of this world without grandkids. And I said, my oldest son's father-in-law's name, Paul, too. And I said, But I get the first name, you can name him Paul Paul.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Paul Paul.

SPEAKER_00 48:45

That's bad, bad humor, I know.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

That's all right. I'm familiar with it. I I live with him. He's got plenty of people.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

And hopefully I'm not getting off track here, but you've had some tremendous questions and just keep firing away. Nothing's out of bonds.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

We are actually out of time, but I uh I do want to end with one thing because you you told this a very beautiful but but very um touching story about your son. And you were recently at the Brandon Steakhouse for your birthday, and you had your walker, and you were going to the bathroom, and your son said to you, Dad, let go. I got you. I got you.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

Yeah, it was interesting, and there was a hallway going in which is kind of narrow, and the doorway was was um narrow. So he just said, Dad, just let go of your walker, leave it here. And I and I wasn't walking very good at that time, so I I almost froze and I was read I stumbled and fell. And he said, just calm down, Dad. Don't be scared. He said, I got you, and I'm not gonna let you fall. And I'm getting kind of emotional with this. And then I was doing my devotions the next uh the next morning. I thought, it's kind of like human beings in life. We hang on to certain things that we need know we need to let go of. We can't because God's got us, and we hang on with all our life, and when you finally do let go, he may let us fall or stumble, but he's always gonna pull us back up in some way or another. So without and I I gotta share this with my son tonight now that it's in the archives, because hopefully you'll hear this someday. But it was so powerful, it just jumped, it's like I I didn't realize it at the time, and then I got back to the table, and the young lady that that's helping care for me. My stake was all cut up, and I'm like, who did that? She had done, and I thought, I have a pretty good life.

SPEAKER_02 50:42

And a lot of people that love you, Paul.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

So you can look at it two ways. You can either mope around and be miserable the rest of your life or try to, and believe me, today's a good day. I'm physically doing well, and I think I'm I'm talking pretty well because it does affect speech, but it's a pretty incredible life. I went through some highs and lows. But there's there's a lot of good ahead of this for this old fellow.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

Paul, can you can you uh talk to that that um person going through something hard that didn't have a dad or a mom to tell them to to not give up? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 51:20

I would say put your faith in God and and God has revealed himself and he does to everybody in certain ways, but find yourself and mentors come in all shapes and sizes. Like I have mentors, like I would consider you two a mentor of mine now going forward. Hopefully we can you can stop over and visit me sometime because there's so much wisdom. Like I need mentors that or and then Sandy Bourbon's son came to me. It's so if anybody could come to me, I'd but mentors, find a mentor, find a businessman, find a pastor, find somebody. If you don't have the family support, there's so many people that it's like laughing on the outside, crying on the inside. So most people have gone through something that they're just very willing to help you out. So sometimes you have to seek individuals like that out. But there's a like I told my story, I'm just overwhelmed by people giving me rides, bringing me food, just giving me encouraging thoughts. It was it's just been it humbles me and almost makes me cry on the air right now. And I have got close a couple times. So but I'm just so thankful to have this opportunity. And I don't hopefully I answered your question.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

I well, my takeaway from that, first of all, is the your amazing attitude because you're dealing with this disease, and you're still saying to us, can you can you be my mentor? And you're you still have that attitude of mentorship. You're you're seeking out mentorship. You said you're 61, you said. Yes, and still seeking out mentors. That's incredible. What a powerful takeaway for people who are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s now.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

Never stop learning.

SPEAKER_01 53:00

Still always be learned, always grow, and find people to push you.

SPEAKER_02 53:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

I agree, and like you said, it it takes people to hold you accountable. Like my son had made that profound statement the other night, my younger son and my daughter. It's like, it's as simple as that. You can make this compli is step over the look at your line, dad, step over the line, count your steps. What I can still count, and all I gotta do is count to 10, then I can start over. I don't have to go to 13 or anything. So my kids have been remarkable as far as people around me, too. And and life, like I said, I'm I'm recently coming through a very low, very steep valley in my life, but I'm I'm expecting to come out of this as God has always proven me in the past. I will. So hopefully I this is worthwhile. And I hopefully I always make a goal to touch one person a day. And as I was telling Heather on the way, maybe I can take the rest of the week off now. Maybe I touch three or four.

SPEAKER_02 54:00

You will touch hundreds, if not thousands. So thank you so much for being here with us and sharing your story, Paul, and with the world and with the audience. Um, you are a you're a blessing.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

Well, thank you. And hopefully I was helpful for both of you. You were and everybody else.

unknown 54:16

Thank you, Paul.