SPEAKER_00 0:00

Just a heads up, this episode deals with some pretty sensitive issues. So, parents, before you listen with your kids, we ask that you listen first. So thanks so much.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Here comes the sun do. Here comes the sign that say it's all right.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

I am excited to introduce our guest, Dylan, but first I will introduce my wonderful husband, Amos, who is the co-host of Fortitude. Hello. Thanks for being here, honey. I couldn't do this without you and all the technology stuff. Dylan, you are the founder of Wheelchair Adventures.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

Man, there's a lot to that that I'm excited to dig in. So thank you for being with us today.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Yeah, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

Your willingness to share your whole story. It's going to be a blessing to our audience. So let's dig in and just tell me who you are today. Let's talk about the now, the present. Who is Dylan?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

So yeah, my name is Dylan. So I um live here in Sioux Falls right now. Um 29 years old, um, and I am a quadriplegic in a in a wheelchair, but I do not let that stop me one bit. I still take advantage of anything that I would have before and kind of uh really strive to do those things that a lot of people might assume or think that someone in my situation can't do anymore. So yeah, just here to try to spread my word and uh kind of go from there.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

Okay. Um, I was looking at your website earlier today, and I just the biggest smile on my face, like actually my cheek started to hurt a little bit because I thought, man, this guy is living life. Yeah. Truly, you did not let it stop you. Like to see the things that you're doing, and not only what you're still able to enjoy, but you're taking people with you.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:06

Like you made it a nonprofit to say, it is not the end of the world. There is so much more to do and for us to discover. So let's do it together. And so taking everybody on adventure, like, I want to go.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

Right? I I don't have to be in a wheelchair to go with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

No, all kinds of fun adventures to come.

SPEAKER_04 2:24

Okay, good.

unknown 2:25

Good.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

So let's go back to high school. Did you grow up in Sioux Falls?

SPEAKER_01 2:31

So I grew up in Dell Rapids, so from eighth grade on until I and I graduated from Dell Rapids Public School.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Um, and so that's kind of where our little journey started.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Just north, small town, just north of Sioux Falls, where we're recording now.

SPEAKER_04 2:44

Yeah, we have our audience is global. We are global now. So when when we when we talk about small things, people are like, where's that? Dell so Del Rap is just north of small town.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Class of like 63, something like that.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

So is where Amos and I took our engagement photos.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:03

Yes. When we we went up there by the river and took our pictures. Beautiful areas. We were young. We were really cute. Still young. So Dylan, you um when I was just getting the opportunity to get to know you and exchanging different communication back and forth, I was like, man, this man is full of life. Like you really, you just have a spirit about you that you can tell um comes from the Lord. And it's it's beautiful to hear, to listen, to see to all of it. And um, but it wasn't maybe all the case when you were younger. So can you tell us a little bit of what led up to your accident?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Yeah, so growing up, I really um battled with a lot of mental health illnesses, um, things like that since a pretty young age, you know, uh 13, 14 years old. Um, so I grew up, um, my mom was a single parent most of my life, and then I've got a sister that's uh four years younger than me. And so um I kind of grew up with that kind of male role mentality kind of stereotype that I think is thrown around too much anymore, where you know, you're kind of the man of the family and you really don't want to show that emotion, like you have to try to hold yourself together, and so on top of that kind of mental health stuff that I had, um, then kind of getting introduced to high school into um a lot of alcohol and and drugs and things like that, that it really that's when it really started to um spiral out of control, um, even more so than I thought at the time um that I really should have reached out for help at that time.

SPEAKER_04 4:38

Um because in in that in high school and when you start to get into those crowds and you start to drink and you're doing drugs and everyone's doing it. So it almost feels acceptable because everyone around you and the people you're hanging out with are doing it, and yet you're the only one individually, or whoever is all participating individually are dealing with this darkness that comes with that. And so do you feel like it's masked when you walk in back into that group and start all over again? No one checks in with each other.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Absolutely. You know, I always tell people it and and you read all the time, it's it's those people that seem the happiest in their life sometimes that you have to watch out for because I mean, a lot of people would have never even known in my situation. You know, I was that happy go lucky life of the party, you know, until it was after the party when you find yourself alone, when there's not those that group of people around anymore, and then you really start to feel the effects on that depressant as an alcohol, you know, and and now you're far enough into it and now you're alone that that you really now really feel like you're completely alone. Um and so that can be super tough on a lot of people, especially when you don't know how to express it um as a young teenager, especially.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

So anyone who's who would minimalizes teenage drinking should really listen to this.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Absolutely. I I look back at it and and someone said, you know, like I I had a lot of really good times doing, you know, drinking and and and things like that. But when I look back at it, it really just hindered me in so many ways that um I'm just glad that I could get away from it now. You know, I could I for the longest time, you know, you really felt like and like you said, all your friends were doing it, so you thought that if you didn't do it, that that you weren't gonna have fun with them or something like that, you know, that you couldn't go out and have fun without drinking or or doing stuff like that. And so it's it's really amazing when you're able to open your eyes up to so many more things besides just that small little pocket of things.

SPEAKER_04 6:45

Yeah. You are who you hang out with. That phrase is so true, right? You become those you hang around with. Amos, you think many, many years ago, you were mentioned that whole the top five people.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

You're the average of the top five people you spend time with.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

The average. And I also did you were you in sports or anything, Dylan? Did you play?

SPEAKER_01 7:08

I was um early through high school, and then, you know, kind of later on in that high school, then again the drinking really took over, and there was found more pleasure in in doing things like that than than any kind of group activities and sports and stuff like that, where you kind of had to be more disciplined and stuff like that. So you kind of fell away from that a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 7:27

Yeah. Um so the deeper and darker that it gets, because we can relate. Though there's a lot of people who are listening to this listening to this right now who are like, I'm there with you. Cause when you hit the rock bottom and you're in that dark space where you feel like you cannot get out and you cannot breathe, um, you were there.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

So can you absolutely, yeah. And I spent quite a few years there, I feel like, you know, um it wasn't until I was almost 19 years old um that I um tried to commit suicide, but there were many, many thoughts um before that, and even attempts um, you know, that never quite went through or that you didn't didn't quite come up with, I guess. And then and then almost almost sometimes those those failed attempts or things like that almost made you feel worse about yourself, like like that you didn't have enough or you weren't enough to do something like that, you know. And so it really holds you down even more. But yeah, I was I was there for quite a few years, and um it uh it was a long road. Um unfortunately, it it led down to where I did, but I really think that it it absolutely changed my life for the better. I I tell everybody, and sometimes it's hard for people to imagine, you know, uh someone that is now in a wheelchair, more or less paralyzed from the neck down. But I I truly believe that that that day saved my life. Um that I I don't think I would have been going down the path that I am and you know, trying to help the people that I am and and things like that. So I I try not to regret a whole lot of things, you know, but it's more or less a stepping stone to that to that next place that you have to be.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

So before your last attempt, do you think that there were signs that those around you could have picked up on, or do you think it was actually a impossible task that you did such a good job of hiding it that they would have had been had to have been proactive and asked questions rather than be reactive?

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Um I think in my mind at the time, I think it was completely hidden. Even now to this day, you know, I I think that it was pretty good, but um talking with some people and and things like that, I think they knew definitely knew there were things going on. I don't know that they knew that were quite to that extent yet, you know. But I they they could definitely tell um ramping up to it again. I mean, the alcohol's just started getting more and more. And then and that was my first year of college, you know, so I'm away from I'm away from home now too, where I don't have that that discipline there that you know that you can only get away with so many things or so many times, or I'm at college on my own now where nobody knows me. No, and it everyone's drinking, and it really starts, you know, then it was every day or every night, you know, and then you start missing classes, and then you know, it all just piles up so fast and it runs up on you that you know when you get to this place where it's it's you're just in a place where you don't quite know what to do with it all.

SPEAKER_04 10:32

Is there is there anything anyone could have done for you? And if so, what? What do you wish somebody would have stepped in in high school and said to you?

SPEAKER_01 10:45

You know, that is such a hard one, and I have tried to think about that quite a bit, and I really just don't know that I could have an answer to that.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

You know, I mean there's a lot of things that you maybe could have changed up a little bit, but that's tough.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

What about limits? Just saying no. You can't like you're you can't do this. You can't you can't drink. Do you think that would have saved changed the outcome?

SPEAKER_01 11:12

I think if I could have got away from it, I think it would have definitely, you know, I probably had quite a few opportunities that I could have. I I got into some legal trouble a couple different times, and so there were definitely opportunities that I could have, you know. And again, it was one of those things where it was hidden from a lot of people. I mean, like I think my parents knew I did, but they didn't know that I did to that extent, yeah. Or something like that, you know, where it's and it's like I I think it's kind of everything, you know, and with moderation, anything can be okay. But once you once you get so addicted to something that it that you can't moderate what it is, and that's a multitude of different things, you know, including alcohol and all that, that once you kind of lose yourself, that's when you really have to take a step back and and kind of try to realize exactly what you you know what you want and and what what God what direction God's pushing you in. You just have to kind of let him take control and instead of trying to really control it, you know. I was trying to control my life how I thought was in the right direction, the the best outcome, and and that's really just not exactly how it goes.

unknown 12:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Take me to that day, Dylan.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Okay, uh October of 2013. Um I was at college, so long days, lots of homework, thing like that. Um ended up being being home um that night and uh had a couple things go on. So I had an on and off, kind of girl-ish friend at the time that kind of played into it. Um and kind of everything kind of ramped up into it. Um that night I got in my car and kind of just took off driving. Um, more or less, just uh that was kind of my way to clear my head, you know, just to kind of hit the road, kind of let things go. Um, and unfortunately that night it all just kind of kept ramping up. Um and it end up being almost four o'clock in the morning um when it all happened. But yeah, just going down the road, um decided that that that's the time that I thought it was gonna be, and uh just yanked the wheel to the side, and so I remember everything up to then, um, but everything right about from that moment on, um, I don't have any memory of um until after I woke up in the hospital and stuff like that, which some days I wish I could remember some of it, but then most days I'm pretty well content on it. So um, so yeah, uh rollover, rollover accident. Um they say I got ejected, and so I got very fortunate. The one of the first people on scene was an off-duty police officer on his way to work. Um, and so he found me and he knew that it was pretty pretty bad right away, and so they actually closed down the highway um right in between Hartford and Humboldt, and they actually closed the highway, landed a helicopter, um, and flew me into Sanford and stuff there. And so that's when everything kind of started coming together where we realized that um basically had a compression fracture, basically C3 through uh C5, um, that there was some pretty extensive damage in there, that they had to go in and put uh titanium rods, screws, plates, kind of the whole the whole rhyme or reason, and then it was kind of just a waiting game, you know, then to kind of let the swelling and and all this a lot of hectic trauma in this area to to start fizzling down at least a little.

SPEAKER_04 14:41

So what was going on in your head when you're in the hospital and you woke up and your plan was to not wake up?

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Well, and see, and so it was a couple days later, even, um, you know, when you really woke up and realized I instantly, you know, thanked God that that they kept me here, you know, and that was that was something that was uh almost a tough decision at first, too, because you didn't want it to happen, but at the same time, you didn't want to die either. And that's how a lot of people explain it that I didn't want to die, I just wanted the pain to go away, you know, and sometimes that's the only thing you can correlate with it to be able to stop that pain, especially in your young adolescent mind that you don't know how to connect some of these things or or things like that, that you just don't know what to do um with a lot of it. And so um it was extremely scary, you know. I wake up in the hospital and I've got a a breathing tube down my throat, and you know, there's a lot of people in my room, but they weren't paying attention at the moment, really. And so I'm like trying to start moving my my arms and and my legs or something to get somebody's attention, and now it's like all really starting to sink in, you know, I don't really know what's going on, and so then I started getting frustrated and started trying to bite the breathing tube, and so then they start putting plastic pieces in your mouth so you can't bite down in the tube, and you know, and then they sedate you again, and so then it was a couple of days later before I was you know back out it again. But the one of the most amazing things that I found out as soon as I I woke up was just the overwhelming amount of support that was already there, you know, at early hours of the morning that they had multiple waiting rooms just full of people, and so right from that step forward, I I just made the decision that I would never ever make anybody that I cared about feel that way again, you know. And and for me to make that decision, I wish I would have made it a long time before that because suicide kind of plagued our little town of Dell Rapids for for quite a few years leading up to this. I've got a lot of friends and a lot of family that that's happened to before, you know. So I I took a lot of guilt in that also, you know. I seen, I seen what a lot of these families and stuff went through, and then and then to think that I still knew what these people went through, but somehow or another this still infiltrated my life, that this was something that I thought was the best outcome, you know. Um so it's it's it's just crazy that you don't realize how how much of an effect it takes on you that you don't you don't realize until it's until you're so far into it.

SPEAKER_04 17:17

I appreciate you explaining it like that, because it is so hard. You you hear people in suicide say it's one of the selfish, most selfish things a person could do. Like one of the most selfish. And when you're on the other side of it, it really you don't think through the whole process because you really are that far in to a deep depression where chemically things are not they're not you're not processing things right, especially if you're using some sort of alcohol or drug or whatever, which is is enhancing the depression. But man, it's it doesn't feel selfish in the moment, does it? At all. You just think I'm doing everyone around me actually uh it's gonna be good for them because then they don't have to deal with me. They don't have to deal with this. Right. Um, but it that's not the case. Like there there is so much hope and there is so much beautiful on the other side of it. You just have to have the right tools and resources and support around you to get you out of the hole. Um so did you go through after still having to work through and deal with a lot of that shame that you're referring to? Because that is another like you came out of it, but that also can pull you still keep you that that can keep you in bondage.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Yeah, so like I said, that was that was uh tough for me afterwards just because I had so many people in my life that have already gone through that. Um so it's kind of almost like a survivor's guilt like thing that you get that that you feel like I mean, it's hard to still look those people in the face afterwards that you know that you almost let down, you know, and then that almost makes it harder on your on your mental health than now, knowing that you that you let these people down. I mean, it's and it's still something I even carry to this day. Sometimes that you need to talk to that there's some people out there that I feel like I haven't probably fully got everything unloaded, you know, and it's been 11 years that almost that that you still feel like you don't fully have unloaded yet. Um that that and it's just crazy the baggage that you carry around with you sometimes, even knowing that it's not good for you, you just sometimes can't let it go.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

When you say unloaded as in fully uh on on your end or on their end?

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Well, a lot on my end, so I I still hold a lot of guilt um you know for a lot of this. Um, and I had a whole a couple situations um leading up to my accident that a close friend had committed suicide uh a couple months before I did that correlated um pretty close with me. And so I took that super hard, and so that kind of played into all of it. And and it's just crazy how many, how many things can continually stack up, and and so then you know you don't realize it's one thing or another. And and that's what I tell everybody. So after I got into my accident, I um actually went over to um college in southwest Minnesota State over in Marshall, Minnesota for two years. So I took up psychology as a major over there because I I really wanted to get over there and try to figure out like what that one thing was that pinpointed, like why people's mind go in the direction of of suicide and things like that. And that was like almost I thought it was somebody like almost the one of the worst decisions I could have made um because I realized once I got over there that there wasn't one reason. You know, there's thousands of reasons. I wanted to try to figure out what this one reason was to try to help people with it, and then you realize that there's so many reasons to realize like wow, I I just opened up a whole can of worms that I thought was one thing, and now it's thousands of things, you know. Um, but I did learn a lot um doing that through a lot of that, trying to help myself cope and kind of how other people do and stuff like that. So it wasn't a waste by any means, but yeah, it was definitely a an awakening realizing that, you know, and so many people always ask, you know, like, well, why did you do a while? And sometimes that's a lot uh easier said than done to try to explain some of those things um into words.

SPEAKER_04 21:23

Well, there's a lot of people that want, especially family. They're like, Why? What happened? What what could have I done different? How and we just recently attended a memorial and the the pastor said, Don't ask, don't, don't like those questions will drive you insane. Those questions because a lot of times the person who did it doesn't even know doesn't even have the full answers. And so it's nothing that you could have done or couldn't have done or said or acted or it's it's just a matter of checking in with anyone and everyone, right? Like Just asking the questions, being point blank, um finding different resources for people to tap into that that you may not even know about. Um, because I guess in that you I I was hiding so so far. I was hiding to the point where my own husband and my own house didn't even know. So same thing, it's like people don't know, and so they can't take that that that guilt on themselves that they should have they should have been there to help prevent it. Well, you may not even know that there was an opportunity to even step in.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Right.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

Right. And in your case, you're saying that a lot of people may not have even known because we're good at hiding it.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Well, and that's where it comes back to sometimes, you know, like just to be kind to everyone, because you really have no idea what what someone might be going through, you know, even though they show you this on the outside that they're that they're smiling, stuff like that. I mean, you really have no idea what people go through on a day-to-day battle in their life, you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Yeah, personally cut you off in the middle of the road. Yeah. That's not necessarily something they do all the time, right? Could be just having a bad morning. Right. Hey man, I get it. I have bad mornings too. I probably cut people off too. Gotta give people the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. Right. And ask questions.

SPEAKER_04 23:11

Grace. I like I said too, we got nothing but grace, man. Like if we just lived in more of a grace-filled, loving environment, um, I think there would be more there would be moments for us to stop and take notice. We're at we're at we're at a fast pace all the time too, so we don't a lot of times stop to just simply ask that question. And it's really important.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

And I think a lot of things that I want to bring up, a lot of people think that like when it comes to suicidal things kind of like that, that you're this you're this weak person or whatever, you know, that you're too weak to handle life and stuff like that. I really don't I really don't think that's that's how that we we should look at it, you know. As not, I mean it it it really takes a lot for someone to realize that that's a direction that they're going down. Like this isn't just an easy decision that they just decide on a whim and and this is something that goes down, you know. Like this is something that a lot of them have thought about for a long time and have, you know, really almost justified what they're trying to do that that most people would have no clue what any of those things are.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

It really the fact that you made that decision on that road that night and then you woke up grateful that you survived. That just that says so much right there about what your state of mind was in that moment that you made that decision. Right? It's not almost illogical. You can't justify it, you can't put a finger on why it just happened, and then afterwards you were completely different. So something about the brain in that moment is just it's a really hard thing to get out of, and it's a hard thing to combat. So what are some what it what advice do you give to people who who feel like they're heading down that path to the point of almost the point of no return?

SPEAKER_01 25:02

See, and sometimes I feel like I'm not the best person to talk about that because sometimes I feel like I don't even do it now today like I should, you know. I feel like I I tell people all the time, you know, like don't be afraid to talk to people and and don't be afraid to ask for help, you know, and stuff like that. And then and then at the same time I put myself over in that category where I don't do as, you know, I try to tell people. But yeah, it really is just just being willing to open up to people, trying to find that right person. And and whether who that is all the time, um for me, I never really got the best results out of counseling, you know, sometimes to some people different than that. But for me, what I really discovered where my my biggest place that I connected with God and stuff was was in the outdoors. You know, I grew up in South Dakota here, and I started hunting a little bit uh later in into high school and stuff like that, and or whatever. But that was really my my happy place was being out there in the wilderness and and out there in the open. And so after I got into my accident, that was that was something that I thought I lost forever, you know, being paralyzed from the neck down. I I just assumed right away that all these events were were things that I would never be able to do again or something like that. And so that's been really eye-opening for me, um, finding all this kind of stuff that I do I'm able to do to to get outdoors and and hunt and fish and and do all these things that I really never thought I would be able to do again. You know, and that's and that's really my place where I find that I connect most out there um with him.

SPEAKER_04 26:32

What are some of the stories and I can relate to you in that because I am and my whole entire camera roll is full of uh sunsets and sunrises. Sunsets and kids and kids because I just I see just the beauty of God. It's just it's hard for us to comprehend how big he is, and when I look at the sky, I'm like that's how big he is, like the colors in the sky. So nature is a big one for me too, because boundary waters, I went to the boundary waters for years and I just love the outdoors, even with the big mosquitoes and everything. Like there's just something about it, right? Um when you when you think back to high school and you think back to your relationships with people, and you know, you mentioned that having that conversation or asking asking for help or whatever, who's one person you may have opened up to?

SPEAKER_01 27:29

That is a tough one, you know. Because I even have friends that that were best friends, you know, that that I never really felt like I I could open up to, you know, that'd be vulnerable. And so that is a really, really tough one to find that one person sometimes that you can open up to, and sometimes it's a complete stranger.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

That's that's where I was going.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

That you don't yeah, you would have no even no idea, you know. Like I said, I've had I have friends that were we were super close, we grew up together our entire lives, that I've never probably even to this day opened up about things like that, you know. And sometimes it's one of those things that you just try to guard so you get so protective over, you know, or you feel like you've gone through so much already that if you if this one other person has this opinion about you, like that it's gonna ruin your whole thing or whatever when I mean it's just you have to get back into realizing that it it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you, you know, like as long as you're happy and and you're following in God's path, like that's that's really all that matters, you know. He's the only one that you have to to respond to and and all of that. And so I think we get caught up too much in in some of that too. And then in high school, you know, you get caught up in who's dating who or who wears what or all of that. And so it's like that's a big thing to pile on on top of that too, being being that adolescent brain, and you just have so many things coming in at once that a lot of us have no clue how to deal with at the time and never ask for that help, and that's when it that's when it gets too far gone.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

I do feel like too, you could talk to a friend and they're like, ah, you're good. Cheer up, you know, and you're here. I went and opened up and disappointment. I didn't get the reaction that I thought I would. What are some and so therefore opening up to a stranger might seem more appealing. But what what are some of those character traits you might have looked for in a stranger?

SPEAKER_01 29:23

I mean, really, obviously somebody that you can trust, um but somebody that'll really truly listen. I feel like there's so many people out there that listen to respond today. They don't listen to actually truly take everything in that you're going to. Like I said, people just listen to respond almost anymore before they even before they even listen to the whole question. You know, I really had to try to remember that lately. I'm like, I just took my driver's license test again that I'm I'm trying to work on. And so I was doing a prep test, and so I'd like read halfway through the question and answer, click the answer, and then it was like wrong, and then you read back through it. I'm like, oh well, you just have to read through the entire thing first before you could do that. So I some people just jump to conclusions so fast that they they don't really listen to to really feel what you're what you're trying to tell them and what you're going through. And like you said, sometimes people brush it off, and then that was that one time that you really decided you were gonna try to open up to somebody and it didn't work.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

So I mean, and then it and then it's like we live in a serotonin-fueled world where you the next thing, the next thing, it's hard, it's actually physically and mentally hard to slow it down and listen to someone for more than just 30 seconds because the your phone's gonna ding, something's gonna happen, or you're not willing to take the next you know, deep question because you need another serotonin hit. I think that's a massive problem in our in our society is that we've lost touch with uh just our person-to-person reality because person people are messy.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

And if we just quiet ourselves long enough, those around us open up. It's like this when you see someone and see someone without like just it's like a look in someone's eye, you can you can see that that there's something going on, and just uh just to be there, be present, and just be silent sometimes is a little awkward. But the awkward is what brings the beauty. A lot of and people just don't like the awkward. I used to be one of them, so I'd fill the air. I think sometimes I still do aims, it's like, gosh, you talk a lot. But to go back, did you have a f did you have faith when you before this?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah, I I mean absolutely. I've always um been a believer.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

You know how how deep into it you was I not because you were talking about church and how you guys lived by a church and you should go to church and all that, but like that deep personal relationship um that that was a big piece of like the sunset comet and the outdoors and nature and different things because it's people in faith will s often say, like, I can't hear God, I can't hear him. He's it's not tangible, it's not it's not someone I can cry out to. And in those moments of a deep relationship with Christ, I remember, I mean, I I would go outside and I would in the middle of the morning, I would cry out, Abba Father, where are you? you know? And so did you ever have those moments?

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Definitely, yeah. And so I mean, to to be able to be in that silent area sometimes, I feel like too much we get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life anymore, especially, you know, like being in Sioux Falls in a big town and stuff like that, to be able to slow down and find that quiet place that you might be able to hear him, you know. There's too many loud noises around us anymore to sometimes be able to hear what he's trying to tell us. That um you just have to get to that place, and that's where and that's why I turn to it because just to be out there in the quiet and take in all the beautiful things that he's created and and still gives to us, you know, and stuff like that. So yeah, definitely I think sometimes we get wrapped up in the in the hustle bustle of a busy life that we don't think about some of the smaller things that that we really have to in life.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

So that's where you find your your peace now in your adventure.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Well in that, yeah, so so that's where I did. I mean, I I think really the outdoors for me was was what I found. But along my journey into trying to get back outdoors um was extremely tough, you know. Like I said, I got into my accident and thought that these were things I'd never be able to do again. I mean, I can't hold a gun or hold a fishing reel and and things like that. And so it took quite a few years, um, actually. And so I've found a lot of found and created a lot of different things now that um I use a a mount that mounts to my wheelchair from a company called Be Adaptive, where I'm able to aim a gun now with a joystick um with my chin, and I sip on a hose, and that's what what pulls the trigger, you know, and and I've got an electric fishing reel that I'm able to reel fish in on my own and things like that. And so um this this next really big step for me was starting this nonprofit called wheelchair adventures. And so I kind of started it out as a Facebook page about six years ago, um, just to kind of start trying to document my journey into getting back out there because that was my thing that I realized that there are so many opportunities out there, but most of the time people have no clue. I mean, as far as where it goes into grants or or nonprofit opportunities to go on, some of these trips and stuff like that. And so then I really started trying to push to trying to get resources together that now on our website we've got an adaptive resources tab that literally has every piece of adaptive equipment that I've ever been able to find or use or something that they would be able to use at, or there's a tab that has every nonprofit across the whole United States that I've ever found that that can do stuff like so just to try to get that stuff out there in front of people that otherwise have no clue that any of that is out there, that any of those opportunities are out there, or things like that. So um, that's been a really cool one for me. And so now this year we're gonna we're gonna start pushing things even a little bit farther. We're gonna try to start coordinating uh a couple of hunts. So we've got uh four gentlemen with disabilities that we're gonna be taking out this spring um out on their first turkey hunts. Um so we're getting pretty excited about that. So that's kind of my passion right now is trying to pass pass a lot of this information and opportunities on to these people like myself who just assumed that we were in a position now that we wouldn't be able to do the things we used to, or that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

All right, and so in the in the chair that you're in right now, is this the type that you is this the one you use when you go out?

SPEAKER_01 36:06

Um It depends on the day. So I've also got one, uh a wheelchair that's on tracks, um, actually, and so amazing for getting outdoors and stuff like that. Um kind of trying to coordinate sometimes the transportation of it. Sometimes they don't exactly fit into a little minivan like I have or different things like that. So sometimes it's easier just to stay in this chair and just try to bomb it through just try to bomb it through whatever you can.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Just hit the gas and go. Yeah, yeah. We'll figure it out afterwards. Yeah, and so for these adventures, is it's do you have chairs that other people can use? Is that is that a thing?

SPEAKER_01 36:41

Or so so another thing with a goal of ours we're working on, we would love to start some kind of like an adaptive loan closet or something like that, because a lot of this adaptive equipment, a lot of the reasons so many people can't get access to is it it is so expensive. That is, and and and again, a lot of people don't know about it, and then when they do know about it, it ex it's so expensive. And so I had the opportunity um not this last uh fall, but the fall before that, to go with a nonprofit out in Wyoming called Wyoming Disabled Hunters. And so they um took me and my family out there and took me out on an antelope hunt, and it was like all expense paid and it was completely life-changing. And so that that really started opening things up to me where I was like, okay, like I'd really like to look into start starting to see like what I could try to help do with some of these things, and so that's kind of where I've gotten into now with that. But with this loan closet, we would like to um we've acquired quite a bit of equipment through donations as well as a couple other things that we're working on starting another uh part of our website that we can actually start loaning this equipment out to people. So we've got a couple of these different gun mounts, um, we've got a couple like uh recumbent bikes that you're able to pedal with your arms. We've got an adaptive kayak that that someone's able to get out and do that. So just um something we'd really like to start that we can borrow these things out to people because they're so expensive. And so right after I went out to Wyoming, uh a friend of mine was going to go out there and they kind of had him set up with a little bit of uh apparatus that maybe would have worked, but it wasn't exactly ideal. And so I had the opportunity to let them borrow my personal mount that I had at the time and uh and to send it out there with them because at the time, you know, I I just couldn't justify where he had never been hunting before in his entire life, you know. So for them to try to justify spending thousands of dollars on a gun mount that that they really had no clue that if he was even going to enjoy or not, you know, and so I found that on a lot of disabled websites that I that I follow on Facebook and stuff like that, that a lot of these people want to get some of this adaptive equipment, but they've never even got to try it before. So then they save up all this money and they spend all this money on this equipment that they don't even know if they're gonna enjoy because they've never had an opportunity to even try it, you know. So if we could get that, if we could start doing that for people and at least let them use it once or whether they're gonna come use it over and over again. And so so with that, we don't have um any of the track chairs. Um, we're actually working on a program with the state right now, though. Actually, um, I believe they have three for sure, two. Um, one of them is at the outdoor campus here in Sioux Falls, and the other one is at the outdoor campus out in Rapid City. And just calling them, um, anybody with a disability can borrow that uh track chair out for up to two weeks at a time, completely free of charge. Um, it comes with an enclosed trailer and everything. Um so those definitely help. And so yeah, we kind of like to try to be along the same lines of that, just to be able to borrow this equipment out to people that that want to try to get out and and try these new things and really enjoy that that fresh air that we truly believe does so much healing. I mean, both mentally and physically, I think it makes such a huge difference.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

And so the stories you hear, I mean, the people you get to meet through this whole process. You could have you could have lived this life in your home and just been like this is what it is, here I am, you know, but instead you are doing things that you may have not ever thought you were gonna be doing, and now you get to bless other people in your situation. So it's story, I bet do you have are you meeting people like crazy through this?

SPEAKER_01 40:24

From all over the country, I mean the world, we're finding all kinds of different things that that and it's been amazing to hear other people's stories, and then on top of that to see how how they adapt different equipment to work for them, you know, and stuff like that. We're we're coming to an age where technology's been such a blessing for a lot of people in in my situation to be able to find these things and be able to do things, you know. I I have my whole house set up that I can control just about everything with my voice now and and I'll consider it. That's what I'm talking about right there. Yeah, that's my bag right there. Yeah, well, and you know, for someone like myself, I I live on my own, so I've got my own apartment here in in Sioux Falls now that I've got caregivers that come in throughout the day, but like I'm alone the entire night um through most of the day and stuff like that. And so without this technology and these things like that, that's not something that I would ever be able to do on my own. Are you sharing that journey on your website as well?

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Type technology, light switches, voice recognition. Are you sharing what works and what hasn't worked on your website?

SPEAKER_01 41:25

Yeah, so I so I try to share all that underneath that adaptive uh equipment, different stuff. So for everything from like the mount that holds my phone, so we've got like RAM mount stuff that holds my phone to anything that's voice controlled as far as you know, Alexa and a lot of those, or I've got a thermostat and and lights, and I mean it's all been so handy. And and so now kind of my big my new biggest adventure is I am trying to start driving on my own again. So amazing. A lot of people are my mom's not uh not super excited about it yet. So it's actually a system that'll be a joystick, just like my wheelchair. So forward is gas, back is brake, and then steering um is just side to side like you normally would. And so it's completely all um licensed and legal to drive on the road again. And I mean, it's just gonna be just the the pure opportunities that are gonna be freedom, you know. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've I've been super lucky that I've had an an amazing support system in my life before and since then, you know, or whatever. And and nobody's ever really told me no, but you sometimes you just get tired of having to ask for help, you know, to be able to just go out and jump in a vehicle and drive and go do an errand on your own without having to coordinate a ride or stuff like that or whatever. And then it's really gonna open up a lot more opportunities at work too. So um I've worked at uh the local ace hardware here in town for uh a little over two years now, and so um with this van, I'll be able to hopefully start working a lot more hours. Um, so I use paratransit right now here in town, and and it works and it's a great opportunity for people, but uh I I lose a lot of time throughout the day, you know, a 45-minute window for them to pick me up, and then a 45-minute window for them to pick drop me off afterwards. And so it's like I'm losing out on a lot of things that to be able to drive again, yeah, be able to take uh advantage of hopefully a lot more things.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

And so an eight hour, so is it a four or eight-hour workday for you? And then what does that turn into just from the time you wake up, get ready to get there, and then get back to where you're basically off? Like you've started your this process and you ended this process.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

Yeah, so right around usually right now, I'm doing a like a five-hour shift, so I do about 12 30 to 6-ish, somewhere in between there, kind of depending on obviously when the ride picks me up and stuff like that. But um, for me, so I start my mornings up pretty early, and then I've got a whole routine that um takes quite a bit to get up in the morning. Um so once I am up and and going, it's it's 11, 11 30, you know, getting getting up there. And so if if I would be able to go. straight from work, straight from getting up to then, you know, then I that's like I said, another hour there, and then another hour afterwards that I can save. And and so the opportunities would just be be endless and it would be and it would not only for myself, but again to show so many other people that that option's out there, you know, I would have never assumed that something like that would be able to happen, only being able to use one arm.

SPEAKER_04 44:25

Can can you give our audience your your honest advice on a parent with kids and I'm walking through Ace and my kids are asking me questions what why why is he what's wrong with him? What's wait why is he in a wheelchair? And they're asking the questions are are you completely comfortable if a five year old walked up to you and said hey what happened to you 1000%.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Right? I I that's one of my biggest pet peeves sometimes is when you know you get a young child that that comes up to you that wants to ask a hundred questions and the and the parent almost tries to shun them away you know or something like that. You know or I I'm I'm so wide open about it that I mean the more information and examples and things like that that we can get out to people the more they know and and and can support you in your journeys too you know so many people just have no idea and they don't and so many people like I said are are are just willing to like shun their child away like you know catch something.

SPEAKER_04 45:26

Oh that yes that too and the uncomfortable like the don't they don't want you to be uncomfortable and it might like the exchange might be weird and because I I can say that I was I was guilty of it before now being more educated and understanding and being more open to just asking anybody any question. Like I I know that before I wouldn't want to in this in an essence maybe inconvenience the the person. But after our mutual friend who we love and adore Trent and Bass and Missy and learning so much through them in this in this journey has been eye-opening for me and so I encourage it. I I I am with our little kids I'm like go ahead go ahead and have a conversation and engage love on them. Like get to know them.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Yeah treat us just like anybody else you would you know I mean we're still the same same person that that we were before or or anything like that. So yeah really just try to embrace it and and that's too some people in my situation sometimes I think jump the gun a little bit or sometimes get you know um maybe offended over something too simple you know over something simple you know whereas like I said I try to be an open book I I'm pretty much open to anybody asking anything and and like I said the more information that we can get out there for for people the more understanding that the entire world can be for all of this stuff.

SPEAKER_04 46:55

Yeah. And you're good if people open doors for you or ask if you it's just simply asking right like we you say no it's okay. I asked you know so I think more people need to be more open about just a just a simple question. Just ask the question.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

And I think asking is the best too sometimes people some people try to be a little bit pushy into it you know where they're like here let me grab that door and you're like no that's okay I got it. And they're like no I got it okay sure you I guess you got the door then this time we'll we'll let it go now.

SPEAKER_04 47:27

Because you know they want to feel good about doing it for you.

SPEAKER_01 47:30

That's the other piece that's you're doing it for you most of the time they have nothing but the best intentions you know and sometimes people overlook that sometimes yeah but oh this has been so great.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

We also have another mutual friend Paul DeYoung who's been on our podcast. Yeah I think you had therapy with Paul. Yep so I met him through physical therapy at Avera and so wonderful I was telling him it is a small world because I said I'm we he loves our podcast and he was on the podcast and he just said who are some of your upcoming guests and I said your name and he goes oh he's such a good kid so he says hello. Yes he's yeah he is there's an age gap between between us older mentor of ours.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Yes yes wonderful man what um what are some of the resources that you'll you need for your website and your nonprofit for it to be a success. And also we I know the I'm sure the audience is like what's the website? We'll we'll have it in the in the description but what is the website?

SPEAKER_01 48:28

So it's just simply wheelchairadventures org. Okay. Um so it's just a real simple one and so we've got Facebook uh Instagram um some TikTok stuff with that too so we're kind of trying to explore into it I'm really trying to open myself up to really trying to document a lot more of my stuff to uh show people out there I haven't quite fully got over that gap of like hearing my own voice on on video or or something like that but we're working on it we're getting there one day at a time and stuff so um but yeah I really just trying to really document a lot more of this just to show people that yeah that that these things are out there.

SPEAKER_00 49:05

And you're are you in need of more equipment for your loan program?

SPEAKER_01 49:09

You know so we're working on that. I mean obviously we hope to really start expanding all of that soon. So this last year we did a couple fundraisers just to kind of get established and this is going to be our first year of really starting to implement um different things like that. We've had a couple of things last year so I mean we're always looking for any kind of outdoor adaptive equipment that that someone may not be using. We could always use donations. You can go onto our website again at that wheelchairadventures org and they can always be on there. And just volunteers too I mean we've got some really cool events that we're we're looking to um come up and coming that that we can always use help in many different departments. So yeah don't be afraid to reach out and and kind of let us know what your specialties are and maybe where you could help out in and okay that's maybe wonderful.

SPEAKER_04 49:59

That's wonderful. We'll make sure and get all this posted on on the actual episode so people can just click on it and and find you pretty easy. What about lodge access like hunting lodges? Do you guys do overnights or do you do just day trips?

SPEAKER_01 50:13

So so again we really haven't done anything yet. So this is our first year that we're really implementing this. So with this turkey hunt um we just kind of handpicked a couple guys local to us um this first year to try to um kind of work that out but yeah we'd really like to eventually kind of expand it into a program like a lot of the other places have where we can open it up to applications for people kind of all over the United States that that would be able to come and uh and stay with us and things like that. And so um I've actually got a really good friend uh Nick Coulterman who owns uh actually Fit My Feet here in town. Yeah and so he's got a couple lodges um out by uh kind of the Howard area and stuff like that. And so I kind of started chatting with him in this last year um about kind of trying to make those lodges a little bit more accessible and we actually ended up coming across with he just started a nonprofit of his own also. And so we're um working together to try to get the funds to actually build a hunting lodge out there right now. Wonderful um so we like to do a six bedroom fully accessible and then it's actually going to have an event center attached to it so that we can try to have some kind of retreats and stuff like that out there because that was the one thing that I really enjoyed on that that trip that I got to take out to Wyoming was not only did you get to go out and enjoy the outdoors but also there were seven of us and they they put all of us up in the same lodge and so we were there for three days together with this group of people that it was it was really amazing to be to be able to just be there together to communicate and again like show each other different adaptive equipment that we've come up with and and just to be able to communicate with somebody that's more or less in the in a similar situation that you are in. So so that's a really big goal with a lot of this is eventually to to keep it together as a group and try to really be able to to have that day that even if it's only a a two day hunt at least that one night in between that we can all meet together and and have a place to worship and share a meal something like that.

SPEAKER_04 52:05

Share a meal have community yeah that's that's wonderful because we all need that we all do that is this is wonderful. I'm excited for more of the world to hear and learn more of what you're doing and continuing to follow your journey. You're doing really great things.

SPEAKER_01 52:21

Exciting I appreciate that yeah and I feel like sometimes and I I'm I'm one to blame too but again sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough you know so it it it really takes uh a minute to step back and and kind of look at you know what you're really doing and stuff and so I I really think we're we're heading in the right direction to really change a lot of people's lives and and to open up a lot of eyes of people that aren't disabled to you know to show them kind of the things we go through and and the things that we can still do. Yeah that's great.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Absolute honor yes thanks for having me guys I really appreciate this thank you for being here thank you so much for listening we want to change lives through this podcast and if you want to support this podcast or our guests please see the links below for our Patreon and giving links and like and subscribe and also share our podcast as much as possible.

SPEAKER_04 53:19

Thank you