SPEAKER_01 0:00

Here comes a sign do. Here comes a sign that say it's all right.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Hello, fortitude audience. I am your host, Heather Kittleson, and I am here with my husband, Amos. Hello. And our guest today's name is Chris. And Chris comes to me through a friend, um, Lieutenant Andrew Siebenborn here in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, introduced us just was it last week or the week before?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Last week.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

It was the first time we had the opportunity to get to sit sit down together. I had asked Andrew if he knew any war vets because I wanted to dig into what goes on behind the war. And little did I know when we sat down, Chris, that we were going to have the discussion that we had, which led us not even there. So thank you for being here. I'm really excited to have you on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Well, thank you. Thank you for having me. Uh, it's an honor. And uh I do believe it's all uh due to Christ um and his you know his love for us. And um, yeah, uh if I may, I'd just share a little bit. Um I have grown up in Sioux Falls. Um I am 47, not ashamed. And um I have an amazing wife, um strong, strong Christ follower, um who I believe God chose her um for you to to help save me. And uh I have three well, three amazing uh uh adopted children and uh one absolutely amazing uh biological daughter and uh just truly blessed. And uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Yeah, you're I I can't wait to dig in a little bit about your children because both stories that lead down the path of your four kids um had my chin dropping when you were telling me that story. So I'm excited for our audience to hear about that. But where I would love to start, thank you for sharing the things that you did already. Um when you were talking about when you were seven year old, seven years old and um the first big piece of adversity that you went through. I um I mean, having three little girls that are four, six, and eight, I'm like, whoa, hold on. That's really young. Um, so there's a couple pieces to that story that I'd love for you to touch on. Um, the accident, but also the the friends. So, because weren't there were some friends that were a part of that that were telling you to cross the road.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Uh yeah, and uh neighborhood uh bully. Correct.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Yeah, so there's a couple things in that. So tell the story, and then I I wanna I wanna dig in a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Well, um we had just finished eating supper for the night. Uh and I'm telling you this uh through my sister because I don't remember any of it. Um we had dinner. Um my parents went to the kitchen to clean uh dishes and clean up afterwards. And me and my older sister went outside and uh she sat on the porch and was going to watch me ride my bike um from neighbor's house to the other neighbor's house, back and forth. And uh the neighborhood bully, I guess you could call him, uh, approached me while I was doing this. And uh I wasn't old enough to ride my bike across the street. I I lived on a fairly busy street. And uh anyways, he threatened to beat me up if if I didn't ride across the street and back. And uh so um with how scared I was, I did what he was asking, um, as my older sister kept yelling at me not to. Um, I made it across the street, uh, but upon turning around to come back, uh a pickup truck uh hit me. Um my understanding is the lady was drinking and driving and uh must have been going at least the speed limit of 30 miles an hour. And uh anyways, uh I wound up in the middle of the road. Uh the lady was gonna hit and run, but she noticed my sister and got scared, so she did stop. Um by the time my parents came outside, um, my dad held me in his hands, and uh it before the ambulance got there, um I was motionless and I wasn't, you know, crying anymore. Um I I've been told that um at first there was no heartbeat uh when the ambulance showed up, um, but they did manage to uh um get my heart going again. And uh I came through after after after a little while of being in the hospital, uh, had to learn to chew solid food again and and uh had to be taught how to walk again. Um but uh overall my life, it's almost like it never happened. So right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

So you what what physically happened? You broke what broke?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yeah, I I fractured my skull. Um and uh if I remember right, I I broke my wrist. Um I had uh I had double vision for quite a while, and um every three months or six months, I can't remember, I had to go and get brain scan um to check and see if there was any ongoing brain damage or anything like that. Uh that was scary as a young kid. Um I think um from again what I've been told, my parents uh they they didn't have the best insurance, and even though the lady ended up having to cover all the costs, um, the doctors uh would tell my parents, you know, let him be at peace, let him die. Um, but my parents wouldn't uh listen, thank God. And uh slowly signs started, you know, started showing positive things. Um, but they did tell my parents that I would have to pretty much start life over. Um but to their surprise, the morning that I finally woke up um and opened my eyes for the first time, um, all my siblings and my mother and father were in the room, and um I recognized each and every one of them.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Um they did not expect that.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

And uh and then I got emotional because I was confused as to why all these machines and wires and hoses and all that were hooked up to me. But um, all in all, I mean, yeah, I mean, that's literally the first, I believe, miracle um in my life. Um, yeah, it was uh definitely uh amazing thing.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

So well, and the whole bully thing, um, we didn't talk much about it when we were sitting there, and then later I was like, you know, there's so much to that because where did he go? After he saw you get hit, did he run away?

SPEAKER_00 8:11

From my understanding, yeah, he uh he had a very traumatic um childhood. Um very abused kid. And uh I believe he knew right away what he had done.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Um did anything happen with him afterwards?

SPEAKER_00 8:28

I don't believe anything did happen. Uh I I could be wrong again. I I don't remember any of it happening to begin with.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Uh and I never really have talked to my sister um about that for well for several years now. Um, as I know it was equally hard on her to be witness to that.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Um but I I think it I I believe that it just kind of really never got brought up because I think everyone just kind of knew of his story and they were afraid of what might happen to him with how you know, with his family and stuff like that. So that makes sense. Um I forgave him a long time ago. So um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

That's incredible. Uh the forgiveness piece of it. I just for for our audience, the the bullying that happens in schools or just the bullying in general, hurt people, hurt people, right? And just that whole um to be careful, right, with our words and to be kind and you never know what you're gonna say, how it can affect somebody.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

And that was a a bit extreme of, you know, but we we deal with that as adults. We deal with the bullying as adults, and we get told to do things that we know we shouldn't do, and yet we do them because it's just the pressure, and you know, so it's there's there's a lot to unpack there, um, which I know we don't have time, but there's um there's just something significant in the fact that there was a lady drinking too behind the wheel who hit you. So that whole story, there's so much to it. But I'm I'm grateful that you're with us today and that your parents didn't give up. Um, because I mean you you're you're a pretty cool dude. But uh to fast forward when you were 12, um, you're kind of, I mean, you you're you get better, you heal, you're going through life, you're going to school, it's your 12th birthday, and you have a camp, camp over in your camper in your driveway with some friends, and you're talking about how you guys have a ritual. There's this ritual every morning or every birthday that you get up and you guys your family makes breakfast or has breakfast of your choice, right? The birthday person. Okay, go from there.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Well, um, yeah, it was it was uh yeah, the morning of my 12th birthday, and uh um I guess right before this, I knew my parents were having a lot of marital issues. Um but uh I figured you know they they fought a lot at that time, but they always kind of worked it out. Um so, anyways, the night of my 12th birthday, my friends come over and we we just had a fun, fun time joking around in the camper all night. And the the morning of I uh my friends got awoke and went home, and um, I was excited to go into the house. Um, and uh figured, you know, I would have a nice hot breakfast, you know, pancakes and eggs, and um everything was gonna be good. Um, to my surprise, um everyone in the house uh was in the kitchen like usual, but it was very um, very emotional, um sad. There was just a feeling of pain and and and sadness in the room, and um all I remember is my father uh taking me along with him outside on the porch, and uh he he gave me a birthday card. Um, I think there might have been 10 bucks in it, and uh um him telling me that my mother had given him the night before or the night um into my birthday um the paperwork for a divorce. And uh my father had signed it, and um yeah, so uh that morning I learned my parents splitting, and uh that that was a life-changing deal for me. Um I I knew my parents had their issues and didn't get along very much, but uh I I I never wanted that they were my family, and I never wanted to see that change. So um I struggled. Um I believed uh my mom, I I I truly believe she didn't mean for that to happen the way it did. Um, and I I don't believe my father meant to put that that hurt on me like that. I I don't think he intended for me to blame myself um for my parents' divorce, um all the years that I did. Um I think I think my father did what he did thinking that that was the right thing. Um but unfortunately it it definitely uh altered my life um in in a lot of bad ways, I think.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Yeah, because after that you in a sense spiraled into the in into a state that I know you're gonna speak of, but you weren't able to celebrate your birthday. Yeah, no, for many years after that, due to the marker that was put on. Yeah, um, and the guilt that you carried as a as a child. How many siblings do you have?

SPEAKER_00 14:21

I have uh I have an older sister um 43 well uh she's three years older.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

I have um a younger brother who's six years older, uh younger, and a seven um I uh uh sister that's seven years younger.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Okay, so there's four of you in the house. Um did it affect all of the birthday, the fact that it was your birthday that day, do you think it affected you more so than the other three?

SPEAKER_00 14:53

I think it affected my oldest sister um in a different way. Um as far as my younger siblings, they were so young. Um I I don't think they really grasped it.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Um I think uh I I mean I think it still affected them, but not like in in the extreme way. Um I I I definitely even shortly after that happened, uh, I I I would often feel like my siblings should feel the same way I did, but I didn't want them to, so I would make myself almost feel worse because I wanted to feel like I was taking their pain on to try to protect them.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

Yeah. You had as the years went on through throughout high school and your parents split and you're doing the back and forth from mom and dad. Um, you found yourself getting into some things and just going down a path that another another unexpected that you should not have had to go down. Can you get into that a little bit for me, Chris?

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Well, I uh I just I I didn't care. Um I I quit trying throughout school. I um really didn't care about my grades. I I didn't really have a lot of friends. Again, I I I got bullied quite a bit um throughout throughout school. Uh I I had one amazing friend um who was a very strong Christian Christian guy, um, and his parents were amazing. Um that's where I I learned about about Jesus. Um, but I I don't know if I felt like Jesus, I felt like God was punishing me, or if I just felt like um God couldn't love someone like me because of all my issues. But uh my buddy Jason, uh, he was my best friend. He's really the reason I I survived all those years. Um upon graduating high school, uh I tried to, I knew I wasn't gonna go to college. Uh I tried to find stable work. Uh I couldn't had a hard time holding a job. And uh upon turning 21, I had a cousin going to UNLV out in out in Nevada, and I decided uh to move out there with him. I figured that would be an easy escape. I figured that uh I could start life over and I could do away with my past and uh I could actually have a decent life. I my mother, bless her heart, she tried to get me help, she tried to get me counseling throughout those years, uh, but I I just refused. And um so she told me you can't run from your problems. Um, but uh, you know, as a 21-year-old who wants to accept that their mom knows what they're saying, so um I sold, I sold my junky little car and bought a plane ticket and off to Vegas I went. Um that was my yeah, that was my escape, and only to find out shortly after that that my mother was right. And because of that, um I started falling into um even more negative things. It would just, you know, snowballed, um, start getting into the drinking, started getting into the you know, experimenting with drugs and uh basically allowing myself to have relationships with pretty much anyone that would uh accept me at the time.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Yeah. Well, and Vegas is a good place for that. I mean, all of that is like a meeting ground for Vegas. Um, you to take one little step back, at the end of your high school year, you decided you wanted to do military, possibly.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

And you went to an Air Force recruiter, and what did they tell you?

SPEAKER_00 19:30

The recruiter had asked me uh if I had any sort of medical history. Um I told them about some procedures I had done. I had told them about my seven-year-old pickup issue. Um, but then I explained to him that I also used to have a hole in my eardrum on my left ear. And shortly before that, I um during my senior year of high school, I actually had a procedure done to patch that hole. And I never thought twice about it. You know, it was a simple little thing. And uh he gave me a really puzzled look on his face, and he asked me two or three times, are you sure that that's what you have? And I said, Yes. And uh he said, Well, we can't pursue anything right now, we got to send you to your hospital to get you your copies of all your records, and uh so I did. I gladly went to the hospital and and found the office and paid the money to get copies of all my records and uh returned to his office. He spent probably two, probably not even two seconds flipping through the pages real fast. And then he told me, he said, I'm sorry, but we only accept the best and uh showed me the door.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

Okay. I just get, man, what do you I'm this is where I get a little shifty. Uh huh.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

You know, because uh I can he was wrong. I sat next to some people that uh well. My husband's in the air force. So some had some just had qualities you had to look harder for than others. Um but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Rejection after rejection after rejection. That is that is like what I when you speak of that accident, and then you speak of the when you're 12, and then you speak of 18 and you're walking in the Air Force office, and it it's just like, man, they just keep pushing you down and down and down. And so I mean, I the the look in your eye, it's like I can warp back with you when you were a young kid, and that is nobody should have to go through that. Um, did you hear from Your mom and dad, I love you, those words.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

More so I believe from my mother. Um we weren't very a very physical family like um uh my mom. My mom was okay, she was good on giving hugs. Um my father definitely um even to this day, I I I love him.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Um but my father No affection or not with me.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Yeah. And uh he's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

It's um Yeah, there's it's it there's the the I love you's and I mean hugs and affection and my encouragement to the audience is man, there is there's so much negative pressure in our world. And you look at the bullying that you're speaking of. So even in between these big tragic or like dramatic things that happened in your life throughout there, there's tons of weaving and a lot of other things that went on that really crushed your soul as a child and as a human and as a man. And the things that can happen for us when someone simply looks at you and says, Hey man, you're doing a great job, or I, you know, I really appreciate you, or I love you, or those words are so easy to say, right? Like it's so easy to to see somebody look at them and give them just words of affirmation and what that could have done for you as a child, um because of those tragic moments, some of those other littler moments of someone seeing you and saying, like, I I accept you for who you are, the unconditional love. Yeah. And even though your best bud and his parents knew the Lord and spoke to you about the Lord, most likely, um, unless you really clearly understood who he was, he was he's whispering those words to you, right? But yet if if you didn't have a relationship necessarily with him, it wasn't as easy to hear those words.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Yeah, it's it's interesting. You know, I I would I would go with uh my buddy Jason um to some of his you know church camps in the summer, and uh I would go through all the you know the um excitement, you know, we'd go and watch some kids get baptized and and and I actually as a as a young kid because of him I got baptized, but I later understood that I did it as kind of a knee-jerk. I thought that was just something I had to do. Yeah, and um I I didn't realize that you know there is a sep it's it's separate to believe in a God, but that's not the same as as living your life for God.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

Yep. Yeah. And you're doing that now, which I'm pumped to get to that as well. But uh so you're out out in Vegas and you're living a lifestyle that you realize is taking you further and further into a really gross state of mental destruction, very much destruction. You spoke about suicide to me as well. Can you go there?

SPEAKER_00 25:37

I think to some degree, um, I just got so tired of uh failure after failure of after failure, and it got to a point that even um even if it wasn't my failure, um I somehow felt like I had to own it. Uh I had a friend of mine in in Las Vegas that uh was kind of in the same boat as as myself, and she tried uh joining the military uh to try something positive for for once in her life, but she got rejected. And I found a way to um even make myself believe that it was somehow my fault, you know. Uh, but I just uh it it just didn't seem to matter. And it gets to a point when you've been struggling with that depression for so long that it just uh suicide just seems like the easy answer. Um you're tired, it you know, life just it's it wears you out that that weight that you're carrying and and uh um suicide almost looks um it looks like the only answer.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

I'm so grateful that you did not take your life, Chris.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Uh there's a lot of there's a I mean, right now, especially in our our world, we speak about this a lot on the podcast as just suicide. And I mean, I'm I'm also a product of God wasn't done with me yet, and he's absolutely not done with us yet. Is he? No, he is not. Long ways ago. Uh so we have to be that voice. We do. We we got man, the rest of my life I will speak out for those who do not, who did not make it, because um life can be really good. It really can. Once we get through all of these these bumps and we realize that our identity does not lie in this in this world. We are not of this world. Yeah. In this world, this world doesn't define us.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

It does not.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Yeah, this world does not define us. So you you did join the military.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

I did. Yes. So I I returned back to Sioux Falls. Um, I was getting ready to basically become homeless. Um, my cousin was getting ready to kick me out of our apartment, which um I totally understood. Um and I I tried to get away from the lifestyle I had grown a custom to while in Vegas. Um, but again, my past caught up to me and uh a lot of my emotions and my depression and stuff, and I tried to hold a job, but I I struggled with that. And 9-11 had happened in 01, and I knew that through my emotions dealing with that. I I grew up, both my grandfathers were Navy CBs in World War II, and I had some uncles that were Navy, and um, so military I always had a respect for, but uh again, you know, just another thing I just didn't think I would ever be able to do. I wasn't good enough. And uh I had some friends that were uh in the guards, uh, Army National Guards here in Sioux Falls, and um they they told me, well, you know what, I told them what happened with the Air Force recruiter years before, and they said, Well, your problem is is you don't need to share the whole truth, you know. So um I I went to an Army Army recruiter, and uh I at the time I was dating uh who just happens to now be my wife, um, but I was I was dating her and um I decided we we weren't just I wasn't ready to make the full commitment to go active duty. And um I decided to go guards. I I went off to to basic training in Fort Leonardwood, Missouri, uh back in uh November, I believe it was in 2002. And upon completion from uh basic training in AIT, I found out my unit was getting activated to go overseas. And uh yeah, so off to Iraq we went. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

And you were over there from 2003 to 2004 for a whole 12 months, correct? Because that's the the tour.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

Yeah, we uh at first were stationed in uh Kuwait uh for a few weeks, and then uh then we got sent out and actually were stationed in in uh Iraq, kind of around kind of the center area of the country there.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

So okay. And emotions by like what were you feeling? And because man, there was a lot going on, and it was early on in the Iraq war.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

It's it's it's strange, um, especially dealing with all my other life issues, but um to some degree uh it was an absolute amazing experience. I I was so focused on our job at hand um and my training and uh just staying safe and stuff the best I could, that I didn't have a lot of time to um bring up my childhood issues, and um it was good in that sense. Um to some degree, I felt like I had a life while I was there, which is really weird to say.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

And a family. You know, you think about your your is it we were Amos and I were talking about this earlier. Do you call it your platoon or what your unit?

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Um Yeah, I had made some pretty good relationships with some of the other guys that I I was with. Uh and uh Yeah, just the only thing I had to focus on was, you know, those little tests, you know, am I gonna eat in a chow hall today or you know, um am I gonna have time to do laundry? But it was just uh it was the it was just the job at hand. Uh it was our missions, and um it just to some degree it it there was a peace about it. Um but it was difficult because there were things and and I didn't really feel this until we returned back to the States. But uh shortly after returning back to the States, um that's when I started uh dealing with survivors' guilt, you know, from some of the some of the things I had to witness while I was there, you know. Um, you know, we had to load up a Humvee on one of our trailers one day from uh uh that got hit with an IED. Not not one of our our guises, but another unit's Humvee. And uh uh a piece of shrapnel went through the uh floorboard of the Humvee and cut off uh two of this young soldier's legs, and the the soldier bled out and died. And uh we we had to you know uh deal with that. And uh I think the thing that really affected me for a good few years after returning home was um we didn't have a lot of free time, uh, but one evening we happened to have uh kind of the evening to just you know do what we needed to do. And it just so happened I had some time to play a little pickup basketball with some of the other guys from the platoon and uh some of our maintenance guys. And um I sprained my ankle, uh, but with how bad it looked, my first sergeant at the time, he was a civilian, he was a nurse, and he he uh sent me to the medic tent because he thought my ankle was broke. And uh so I uh sergeant took me to the medic tent. And um upon getting my x-rays and stuff, waiting for the results of that, all of a sudden a black cot came in, helicopter, and it had uh three little Iraqi national children on it. And I don't know their ages, I'm guessing probably three years to maybe maybe five or six years old between the three of them. And uh their their parents, uh little van got hit um with a U.S. military convoy, um, kind of like a basic car accident, but um, you know, they they didn't wear seat belts or anything in that country. Um, but due to their injuries, um we we were just in a medic tent, and these these soldiers, U.S. soldiers brought them by on little cots one at a time, and uh they were just right there in front of me. Um and uh each kid had just um horrible uh injuries and both all three of them were uh close to dying, close to death. And it was it was just so real. And I could I could like uh I could smell I could smell their body odor. I could I could uh um even after returning home, uh, you know, I would still at times feel like I could smell and um I I just remember the one girl looked right at me and and there was nothing I could do. And uh that that's really haunted me for uh quite a few years after my deployment. Um I've always had something with with children um and uh to to see that and know there wasn't nothing I could do to help that child or help them understand that I'm there. Uh shortly after they were brought in, I I could hear the doctors on the other side of the tent say that there was nothing they could do for them. They were just hoping they could do something there for them, and then put them back in the helicopter and get them to uh Baghdad, uh Baghdad's big hospital there where they could, you know, treat them, and there just wasn't nothing they could do. And all three children um ended up dying right there. And anyways, uh, you know, uh I I saw war, you know, you can watch movies and this and that and uh see some pretty graphic stuff, but uh and unless you're really experiencing it, it's the realness of it. It just you can't experience unless you you're right there. And uh so yeah, upon returning home, I just uh uh survivor's guilt. Every time I'd read a paper and see pictures of soldiers still in Iraq or even Afghanistan, I would just flood of guilt and shame that I wasn't still there.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

That's why a lot of soldiers will go back for a second and third and fourth tour because they just it's that's what you hear is the survival survival guilt. Like they get back and think, nope, I gotta go back. I gotta go back. My my my family's back over there.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

It's it's it's contagious, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

But you did not go back, which is a a good thing because you're your bride and you got married shortly after you re returned home.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

Yeah, me and my wife, uh, we we uh got married two months. I think it was two months after yeah, after returning home. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

You were unable to have children right away, is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 37:42

Um, I think it was uh it was about a year or two after, if I remember right. Yeah. Um I I I I don't know the terminology, but my wife had something um that made it basically impossible um for her to get pregnant. And uh uh that that was another loss for me, you know. It was another, even you know, it was uh but at the same time, uh her oldest sister um was adopted, and I had worked at McCross and Boys Ranch um for a while, and and I knew adoption, and even my wife, you know, we just knew adoption was gonna be part of our of our life um anyway. So uh we just accepted that, you know, pretty much right away. Um my wife at the time was uh I I think her heart has always been with Africa. Um, but she was doing some online school at the time, and uh I think there was something that she was learning about or something that really kind of helped push her that direction. But so we adopted our our our three children. They uh um are from Ethiopia. Uh they were siblings, and uh yeah, uh it was quite the process. Um but uh yeah, they were four. Um my son Emmanuel was four, uh my son Capital was two, and and my daughter Jerusalem was uh not even a year old. So uh very amazing experience.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Your story about your daughter. I remember that was the moment I teared up over lunch with you. Uh you explained that you really weren't you were super excited about the boys, and the girl was kind of like, eh, whatever, got a daughter, and then they put her in your arms.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

Yeah. Um, I I'll remember like yesterday. Um I I think I even told my wife that I'm like, you can take care of our daughter, and I'll, you know, I'm into hunting, fishing, you know, sports. And uh, you know, uh the morning they brought the kids to us, uh, this minivan pulled up, and uh I mean my wife were standing there, and they we see our two boys get out, and they had seen pictures of us and uh stuff. We had sent care packages um before we were able to go and get them. And um we were excited, uh, but all of a sudden, uh this Ethiopian lady uh got out of the front passenger door, uh front door, and she was holding just this little little package all wrapped up in a little tight little uh blanket, and uh I just knew right away that that was my daughter. And uh I I almost stiffed on my boys because I just knew at that moment God had just changed my heart. And uh, and I love my boys with everything, but uh uh I just had to go straight to my little girl. And uh yeah, my life just changed uh in a big way. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

Um and how many years ago was that?

SPEAKER_00 41:03

That was getting close to 13. I uh this uh this June, this coming June of this coming year, uh it'll be 13 years of gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Gotcha, gotcha years, yeah, yeah. We we try to celebrate uh each year of the date that we got our children and thanks to my wife.

SPEAKER_03 41:25

Uh yeah, and they're uh they're beautiful. So with the audience, I'll make sure. And you know, if you're okay with the picture, I would I'll put a picture of your family so they can see your children. But um the time is sneaking up on us, so I want another surprise. Surprise! My wife can have a child.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Yeah. Um, my wife, uh things were starting to get a little better uh between me and her. Uh, my wife definitely was a target of in our marriage of all my emotional and depression and all that. Um, but things were getting better. Um, my wife had a pretty good job uh for an insurance company, and all of a sudden one day we were at a church uh event outside, and my wife just told me, She's like, Chris, I believe God's calling me to quit my job and uh get into full-time missions. And um I couldn't argue with her on that. And it was about six months later, um, my wife was experiencing kind of a stomachache, and uh that was quite the experience for her. They thought it was her her uh gallbladder, so they removed her gallbladder, and then she found out it was something that was still going on, so they removed my wife uh had a little bit of uh beginning of a cancer um in one of her ovaries um before all this, and so they had to remove that one. Well, they thought it was her other ovaries, so they removed that, and uh the pain and and and stuff on her side and stuff she had been experiencing had gotten worse. So they uh anyways, I I'm totally going off.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

It's okay. It leads up, it leads up to saying, hey, you're pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

So, yeah, anyways, yeah. My wife uh she went to the doctor one day, and uh um I didn't go with her because we thought it was just a normal appointment that when she would struggle with this uh pain, that they would put her on this medication. So, anyway, she called me crying and but she wouldn't tell me what the problem was, and she had to tell me in person. So, again, as someone who struggles with depression, I'm thinking that they're gonna tell her the worst. You know, they're gonna tell her you got a few weeks to live or something. But I'm like, why is she gonna tell me that at a restaurant? You know, it's weird. But um, and sure enough, we meet at a restaurant and she pushes this gift bag in front of me. It's a few days before Valentine's Day, and um I'm like, what is going on? And I reach in and I pull out a baby pacifier, and I'm like, This is not sick joke, yeah, sick joke, you know. Bad humor. And uh I see tears welling up in her eyes again. And uh she's like there's something else in there. And I I reach back in, and um, there was an ultrasound photo, and I'm just like really puzzled because this ultrasound, this baby, and this ultrasound is like almost fully developed, you know. It's got little arms and legs and fingers. And um, I look at her and I'm like, I still I'm not buying it, you know. And we've been told by the doctors and all that stuff years ago, years before this, that you we can't. And uh at this point, I mean, it was just impossible. And uh we were both pushing 40 years old at that time, and uh, she's like, now she's crying, you know, and uh she said, Well, I'm six months pregnant, and uh, you know, to me, right away, I I didn't know how to fully feel like I was just like blown away, and I know she was hoping I would get all emotional and start hugging her and stuff, but I I just I was just I didn't know how to feel, I was so just shocked, and uh, but I also knew at that moment that that was because of my wife's faithfulness to what God was calling her into and stuff with her walk with Christ and stuff, that was just God's blessing. Yeah, you know, God saying, Hey, this is you being faithful, so I'm gonna, you know, bless you. And you know, some people like to argue with that with me and say, Well, you know, it's anything, but to me, it it no, that's that's just a miracle.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

Miracle.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

Yeah. And then our daughter was born 10 weeks early, uh, three pounds, one ounce, and um, yeah, just just been absolutely amazing. She's now six years old and in first grade and running the house, doing really well, and yeah, yeah. And uh just just absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_03 45:55

So you had if I if I do the math, she's ten weeks early. Funny, so like you had about a month to grasp the fact that you were having a child, which it was funny.

SPEAKER_00 46:05

The day after my wife gave birth to her, my wife came into the Nick U room. Um, and that was the really the first well second time my wife was able to see our daughter was she had to wait all night long before she could hold our daughter again. And uh me and her were sitting on the couch in in the beautiful rooms of the NICU at at Sanford there, and um she just started crying, and I'm like, what are you crying about? And she just looked at me and she's like, I felt like I got robbed, and I'm like, robbed. And she's like, I didn't get to experience the nine months, you know, right of pregnancy. And I'm thinking to myself, what woman wouldn't give right to get through a pregnancy without really, you know. So, but I you know, that's I I understand that's yeah, an amazing thing to witness the whole thing, but uh you know, I think uh your whole story, everything like you beat death at an age of seven, you have been to war, you've had gone through so much rejection, you and yet you I love your wife.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

I've never met your wife, but I love your wife. That she is like the the the I the like ideal example of Christ-like love for me. But through you and listening to how you speak about your wife, it like she never ever let go. No, she loved you for who you were unconditionally through everything that you went through, through all the heartache and everything. And no matter how hard you pushed her away, she always stood by your side. And so um just tell your wife, please, thank you for that. Because I think marriage, marriage today is it's it's difficult and it's hard. And yet I look at what Amos and I went through, and I say the same thing about him that I'm so grateful he stood by my side through everything that I went through because he truly is my example of Christ-like love, the unconditional love that I I believe with all my heart everybody, everybody should experience because it is, it is gosh, I can't go there or I'll lose it. But there's um there's just such a blessing in what your wife has done for you because of all the rejection and everything that you felt. You can look at your wife and you can say, Gow, you never, ever made me feel less than you never like she always poke life into you and encouraged you. And you guys are happily married with four beautiful kids now.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

And you both serve. You serve at your church, you serve, um, you go and you speak at Avara Behavioral Health and you tell your story. Uh, you serve at the prayer coalition, is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 48:55

Uh direct line, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

Oh, direct line?

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Direct line prayer center.

SPEAKER_03 48:58

Yeah. You, I mean, so you're out even through all of that, you're like, you know what? I'm never going back there. No. And I'm now living my life for the Lord, and I'm gonna serve others, and I'm gonna tell my story, which is another reason why I was so excited to have you on here, because that is our that's why we do what we do, is we want to encourage people to tell their stories and to pay it forward and to give back to others who are going through some of the same exact challenges and pain and hurt that you did in that sweet little seven-year-old Chris, you know?

SPEAKER_01 49:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:31

And so thank you for serving our community and for serving those who um just don't have direction yet.

SPEAKER_00 49:37

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 49:38

We are boots on ground warriors for Christ.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

And so thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 49:43

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 49:44

Is there anything that we can do to serve you, Chris? Is there anything one one last just question on how we can be of service to you and your family?

SPEAKER_00 49:54

No, just uh, you know, we just ask for continued prayer for for healing, uh my my healing, my mental health, you know, it it it still goes on. Yeah um, but uh uh now that I have that relationship with with with God and and stuff, I get through it better and quicker, but uh it's still something. And and our marriage, it's it's definitely better. Um, but it's still, I mean, and I think all marriages are a work in progress, but uh um it's it's it's still very difficult. And I think some of that also stems from again my childhood. I'm not an affectionate, I'm not a physical person. And uh um I just you know prayer for prayer for my family that we continue to um move forward and not not not move back and just continue strong in our faith with our walk and stuff. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_03 50:50

What is your wife's first name again?

SPEAKER_00 50:51

Corey.

SPEAKER_03 50:52

Corey. So Corey and Chris. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

C and C.

SPEAKER_03 50:55

We can do that. We get we're we're growing a great audience right now, so you can plan on that being answered.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

Awesome. Well, we we appreciate that as a family. Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_03 51:04

You're welcome. Is there anything you wanted to say at the end here, Amos?

SPEAKER_02 51:06

Well, I you know, I've as I'm listening to your story, I I I see there's there's event after event after event, and I just have one burning question. I don't hear a woe is me. I don't hear poor me in your voice at all in a story. At all. Is that something that you developed over time, or is that just you think that's how you're how you were made?

SPEAKER_00 51:26

I I think uh during the while it was going on, you would have heard that a lot, you know. Uh poor me, poor me. Uh but now that I understand that God has taken all that stuff and and and has helped me to turn it into something amazing by my testimony, um, I no longer carry that. You know, it's um yeah, I I'm actually grateful. I I I truly look at what I've gone through and and I'm grateful for it now because because of it, I've helped God has used me to help lead others to Christ. Amen. You know, so um, and that's what I always tell tell the kids at Evera and stuff, you know, God will take the ugliness that the devil uses to destroy you, and God will turn that into some amazing testimony, you know. And uh so in in some ways I'm definitely grateful. And uh I I wouldn't wish to live through it again, but yeah, I don't want you to either. Yeah, right. But yeah, no, it's uh I think those days are far behind me. And uh now I just look forward to seeing my kids go to school and graduate and um just the future, you know. So and where God's leading me in that process.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

So I appreciate that answer. And uh as a brother in arms, you know, for Christ in the military, that makes we we're cousins, we're family. So we are thanks for sharing. It's an honor to meet you. Yeah, definitely. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

Likewise, thank you, Chris. Thanks for being here.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

God bless you,